Chapter Two: This is the End
The lights were too bright. All he could focus on was the headache inducing glow from the bright florescent lights. They almost seemed to monopolize the stark white ceiling above him, covering the waiting room with an eerie glow. The modern era had always given him a weird twisting feeling in the pit of his stomach, like his body was physically reminding him that this was not his time and that he did not belong there. He could smell the sick and decay seeping through the walls and suffocating him, a constant reminder that things were never going to be the same again.
He could feel the gentle strokes of a woman's thumb across the back of his hand, but he paid little notice to the sniffling woman. He merely rested his arm upon the hand rest so that she could take solace in his company. Again and again he reminded himself that this was where they needed to be, this was the best place for her to be at the end of it all.
Mrs. Higurashi had been doing a good job of holding herself together given the circumstances. When he had first carried Kagome out of the well house and into the courtyard of the shrine, Mrs. Higurashi had been unable to contain her fear. She collapsed to her knees at the sight of her daughter's mangled and bloody body and the screaming had begun. The sound had been so loud and piercing that Inuyasha 's ears had pressed flush against his head and had not released themselves since. She had pulled herself together eventually, the epitome of all things Kagome had always been; strength, beauty and bravery. As he looked at her now, adverting his gaze from the blinding florescent light, he was struck with the very real possibility that Kagome would never reach her mother's age.
He could imagine Kagome in her forties, hair in a short bob like her mothers, eyes worn from laughter and kindness. She would hold herself high, bouncing from place to place as she performed her daily duties. He could see Shippo tangled around her legs as she cooked dinner, playing with his spinning top or practicing with his fox fire. He could see Kagome, leaning over to taste a stew, with a silver haired baby on her hip. The very thought almost made him break down and cry because the fact of the matter remained; Kagome would never mother children, never swell and glow in childbirth. She would never get married, never do all of the things she had told him she wanted to do with her life…
And he felt responsible.
How many times in their journey together had she carelessly thrown herself from immeasurable heights expecting him to catch her? How many times had he been there for her? How deeply had she trusted him? She always seemed to just know that he would be there, waiting for her, when she needed him. She always trusted in his strength and speed. He could still remember the feel of her soft warm body as she collided with him for the first time. He could remember spinning her around to slow her momentum and the way her scent had seemed to engulf him completely as he placed her gently down upon her feet.
Without thinking, he leaned closer to the hysterical woman and wrapped his arms around her slender frame. Her father and her son had left the hospital hours ago to tend to the Shrine and to get some sleep before what they thought would be switching shifts. Little did they know that neither Inuyasha nor Mrs. Higurashi would be leaving the hospital until Kagome was healed.
"I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this." Mrs. Higurashi soothed, seeming to melt into Inuyasha's embrace as she allowed some of her worry and panic to wash off of her. "I know how much she means to you."
Inuyasha merely blushed. He had never been good with words and he had never been able to lie to Mrs. Higurashi. She could see right through him.
"She's going to be okay." She continued on, pulling back from his hug and resting her head upon his shoulder. "She's a fighter, after all."
Inuyasha wished he shared her optimism. Kagome had looked terrible when he brought her bleeding into the Shrine. It was obvious that she had multiple broken bones and her breathing was labored as if something heavy was pushing against her chest. There had even been a few times on their journey from the sight of the accident to the well house where Inuyasha had sworn Kagome's heart had stopped altogether. He wished he could believe that Kagome was going to be fine, but he had seen her body hit the jagged rocks. He had heard the crack of her bones. He didn't know how any human could survive that.
"Do you want to hear a story?" Mrs. Higurashi asked, lifting her head and offering him a smile. "It's probably one that Kagome would kill me for telling you, but I think it might cheer you up a bit."
Inuyasha only nodded.
"A few months ago, she came home to take a test. She spent days up in her room studying for this math test, stressing herself out and honestly starting to doubt her own abilities. You see, every mother will claim their children are smart and beautiful, but in Kagome's case it really is true. She is so incredibly smart but I think the time in the Feudal Era has really made her start doubting herself."
"Didn't you say this was supposed to cheer me up?" Inuyasha asked gruffly, crossing his arms over his chest as he sank further into his chair. He already was aware of how Kagome was struggling to help him find the Sacred Jewel. He knew that she was desperate to get back to the normal routine of the life she had left behind. While he knew she was going to miss the life she would give up in the Feudal Era, he had never held much hope that she would make the choice to stay in the past.
"I'm getting to the good part, dear." Mrs. Higurashi smiled, brushing a few stray tears from her cheeks. "I remember her practically falling into a chair in the kitchen, her head resting on the table and that beautiful hair of hers falling all around her. She looked so exhausted. From underneath all that hair, she whispered something. Something I think I knew for a while but had never really accepted… Do you know what she said?"
Inuyasha shook his head.
"She said she wanted to go home."
Inuyasha blinked back his confusion, his brow furrowing as he tried to make sense of the story Mrs. Higurashi was telling.
"So I sat down with her for a long while and we just talked. We talked about school and the obligations she had in our time and we talked about the life she so deeply cherishes in the past. When it finally all made sense to me I asked her what she planned to do with the rest of her life. As a child she always used to tell me she wanted to be fantastical things. She wanted to be a firefighter; she wanted to be a lion tamer, a doctor, a wizard." She stopped and laughed a little, shaking her head at the memory of a small Kagome and all her wonderful dreams. "She was quiet for a long, long time before she finally lifted those sad puppy eyes of her and asked if I would hate her forever… because she wanted the rest of her life to be one thing."
Inuyasha waited. He waited for her to finish her story, but Mrs. Higurashi just smiled at him knowingly. "What's the one thing?" He finally asked.
"You."
Again his brow furrowed in confusion as he turned the word over in his mind. "Me?"
Mrs. Higurashi nodded. "Kagome doesn't want to live in the modern era. She wants to go back to the Feudal Era with you."
"With… me?" Suddenly he could see it again, Kagome standing by a stew pot in a small hut with a silver haired baby upon her hip. He could see the laugh lines and her smile and could practically feel her scent washing over him.
Mrs. Higurashi only smiled, reaching up to brush his bangs from his face. "You mean the world to here. Don't tell me it took all this," she gestured around the hospital waiting room. "For you to actually realize that?"
Honestly, it hadn't. Inuyasha had known for quite some time just how desperately he needed Kagome in his life. He had tried to stay true to the part of him that had once loved Kikyo, tried to push her to the recesses of his heart so he could stay loyal to his first love… but Kagome was his great love. He knew just how deeply she had written herself into his being, but love was power and the power Kagome held over him was terrifying. He had let Kikyo die, his very love had strangled the last breath of life from the priestess. While it may have been Naraku who issued the final blow, it was Inuyasha's love that had put the nail in the coffin.
"Do you really think she's going to be okay?" He asked, his warm amber eyes wide with fear and years of heartbreak. He had spent his whole life running from the people who had ostracized him and hurt him. He couldn't let go of the only person who had ever fully accepted him for who he was.
"She's a fighter, remember?" Mrs. Higurashi smiled. "Now, the real question is… what do you plan on doing with the rest of your life?"
He was quiet for a long while, eyes glued to the face of the woman before him. He knew what he wanted, but fear still held him back from going after it with a hopeless abandon. "I want,"
"Higurashi?"
Mrs. Higurashi had lost all interest in the love affair of the hanyou boy beside her, jumping to her feet as the tall slender doctor crossed the waiting room to greet them. "How is she?"
The doctor was tall and thin, her hair tied back in a ribbon with short bangs framing the top of her face. Her eyes were kind and compassionate, but Inuyasha had gotten used to the look of pity throughout his years. As he sided up to Mrs. Higurashi, he could tell that the news the doctor was about to deliver would not be good news. "Kagome is responding well to our treatment."
Mrs. Higurashi breathed out a loud sigh of relief that almost sounded like a laugh, clutching at her chest as she slumped slightly. "Thank goodness."
"It's not all good news though, is it?" Inuyasha asked, placing a hand on Mrs. Higurashi's back.
"I'm afraid not." The doctor frowned. "Kagome had multiple broken bones. The ones who worried us the most were a few ribs that punctured her left lung and a pelvic bone. If Kagome wakes up, she will have a long road of recovery learning to walk again."
"If?" Inuyasha asked, feeling the blood run cold in his veins.
"We're facing a bigger problem than broken bones." The doctor explained, keeping eye contact with Inuyasha through every word she spoke. "It seems that Kagome's head took the brunt of the fall and there is quite a lot of swelling in her brain. Right now, she's in a coma."
"A what?" the Hanyou boy asked.
"A coma. Her brain has, essentially, told her body it needs sleep to recover from her injuries. It's completely up to Kagome now when, and if, she wakes up." The doctor reached out and placed a comforting hand upon his arm. "I know things seem bleak. But I'm a firm believer that our coma patients can hear their visitors. So why don't I take you both back? You can sit with her for a while, talk to her. Maybe the two most important people in her life can convince her to wake up."
XXX XXX
By the time the doctors and nurses left the room, Mrs. Higurashi was fast asleep, curled up in a chair on the opposite side of Kagome's bed. Her hands tightly gripped Kagome's and she was snoring slightly. It brought Inuyasha some semblance of comfort to know that she had finally given in and was taking care of her own needs.
It also gave him the opportunity to take the doctors advice.
Reaching out, he gently took Kagome's free hand in his. Part of him had been expecting her to be cold to the touch, but she still held her normal warmth regardless of the pale color to her skin. Her scent was muted by the medication they were running into her system, IV's as her mother had explained to him, but all that really mattered was the sound of her heartbeat.
He listened to its careful drum, closing his eyes and focusing on each and every beat.
Ba-bum.
Ba-ba-bum.
Ba-ba-bum.
Ba-bum.
"You've got to wake up." He spoke, his voice steady despite the heartache that was settling over him. "I don't… I don't know who I am without you, Kagome. I don't… I don't think I could ever forgive myself for all of this if you… if you…" He trailed off, his head falling in defeat as his bangs hid his eyes from view. "This is my fault. I never should have let you take the risk. You never should have been within miles of that fight. You trusted me and I let you down. So you have to wake up. You have to wake up so I can spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you. So that I can show you just how safe I can keep you. We have to get the Sacred Jewel and save the world. We have to go to Sango and Miroku's wedding. We have to rub how close we are in Koga's face."
He knew he was rambling now, but he didn't care. Never before had he been so scared. He felt like he was standing on a precipice ready to fall. "You have to learn everything Kaede and Jinenji have to teach you. You have to be there for Shippo as he learns to control his fox magic." He was crying now, silent tears cascading down his strong cheeks. "You have to be with me."
For a long while he sat there, shoulders shaking beneath the weight of his sobs. "I want you. I want the rest of my life to be you, too."
A soft pressure applied beneath his chin, lifting his face. Fingertips grazed against his jawline as his eyes rose to meet the warm gaze of the girl he cherished most. "Why are you crying?" She asked, her head tilting to the side slightly in confusion.
He blinked back the tears, confusion filtering away as he realized she was not only awake, but she seemed to be okay. "Kagome?"
She smiled slightly, the confusion still written across her face. "That's me..."
He had her in his arms before she could react. Gently he cradled her to his chest, careful of the injuries he knew she had sustained. All he cared about was those warm eyes, their rich color seeming to pierce his soul. How desperately he had feared he would never see those kind eyes again. "I'm so glad you're okay." He breathed, his lips against her ear as he inhaled her scent. Even infected by the medications, she still smelled like hope. "You are okay, right?" He asked, refusing to let her go.
"I hurt a little." She admitted after a long silence, her body rigid in his grasp. Slowly she lifted her palms, placing both softly against his chest. With the smallest amount of pressure, she pushed him back. Still, giving her the space she wanted, he kept his hands firmly on her upper arms. He needed to reassure himself that this was real.
"What's wrong?" He asked, rubbing his hands gently upon her arms.
"I don't want to be rude..." She whispered, dropping her gaze to her hands folded in her lap.
"What's wrong?" He repeated again, his voice a bit more stern.
"Well..." And with three small worlds she brought his world crashing down again. "Who are you?"
Author's Notes: Annnnd there it is. Seriously guys, you should know my stories are never fluffy.
Let me know what you think! The title makes a bit more sense now, yes? Originally I had planned to make this SUPER dark. I was going to kill off Kagome and make this about Inuyasha slowly realizing he cant remember her anymore. BUT I found myself getting really depressed when writing it and that's no bueno. So I changed it up and now we have this baby.
Amnesia is not a pretty thing.
I just want to warn you that this is going to get worse before it gets better.
HOWEVER. You still have all my love.
And I promise if you stick with me through the heartache and the pain... I always give you what you want at the end.
Kaas