Chapter 2: Scrambled Eggs and Tears.
That night as Joan slipped into bed she was keenly aware of the sounds around her. She could hear her parents arguing in their rooms. It wasn't the typical things parents argued about, if they after tonights events, perhaps it would have soothed Joan. No, they were talking about how to deal with Joan. Will had always been a stubborn man when it came to psychiatrists or counselors. He disliked the idea of sharing family affairs with a stranger, whether they could divulge the secrets or not. Helen, was arguing for the counseling. She felt uncomfortable going to a psychiatrist but was not at all opposed. Sessions with psychiatrists always reminded her of the time spent talking with one after her rape. But it also reminded her of how it helped her overcome the obstacles she had to face.
Joan shifted in her bed uneasily, the world knew the secret. Her throat was raw as the result of shouting her secrets, secrets in which the neighbors were now discussing. So the ripples were beginning to spread... She tuned her parents out and managed to catch Kevin and Luke talking. They were not acting concerned about the situation. They did not try and rationalize it. They were making jokes. Cruel ones at that.
The tears jumped to her eyes, fell down her cheeks, and soaked her pillow. What have I done? She cursed. I should have just kept quiet, or make up some person. The possible, and useless, stories began coming to mind. Some could have worked, while others were simply worse then the truth.
The Truth Will Set You Free...
or was it,
The Truth Will Send You To The Insane Asylum
Joan wanted to scream, but was unable to. She was vaguely aware that around Arcadia the word was spreading like wildfire. She curled up, and drifted into sleep.
That morning at breakfast, something Joan rarely ate, she kept catching Luke and Kevin stealing glances at her. Followed by a small snort of laughter. Her parents kept giving her their concerned looks. As if at any moment I would get up and butcher them right then and there. After a long argument they had concluded that Joan needed to see a shrink.
"Its for the best," Will said, jabbing his scrambled eggs with a fork, "You need help."
"Maybe God can help her," Luke snickered.
"Naw, he's busy today. Going to help me with my jump shot." Kevin said pretending to shoot a hoop, "Perhaps Jesus is free today?" Joan sat their horrified. She looked towards her parents and they simply shot the boys a glance, or was it a smile?
"I'm not crazy," Joan whispered into her own scrambled eggs. The phrase had come to her lips before, but never had it felt more like a lie. Those sinister thoughts slowly invaded her mind and began to whisper their doubt. Without realizing it, she violently shook her head all the while whispering, "Stop! Just stop talking!" She could hear the unison drop of the utensils, feel her parents eyes burn holes into her, and see the faces of her brothers before they busted out laughing as she stared into her eggs.
"Get out!" Will demanded. Luke took another bite of toast, drank a sip of orange juice and vanished. Kevin dashed out of the room. He had heard that tone of voice accompanied with those words far to often.
"Thanks," Joan whispered as she watched a tear fall into her eggs.
"Now get ready for school," Helen said, "you wont want to be late."
"I can't go to school!" Joan shouted horrified at the thought. "They know! You can't send me, please don't send me." Her father had an amused look on his face as he listened to his daughters pleas.
"How do you know the kids at school know?" Will asked, the statement seemed innocent enough.
"I just... know," Joan said. She was unsure how she knew, but somehow she did. Now looking away from her parents she whispered "I can't explain it."
"Did God tell you?" Will asked, trying to stifle a laugh. Joan felt the stabbing pain of betrayal work its way from her belly to the rest of her body. Helen shot Will a 'How the hell could you do that, she's your daughter.'
Now Joan was sobbing freely into her scrambled eggs.