Okay, to be fair, I'm warning you this is pretty sexual. I don't really want anyone to go into this not knowing what to expect since a few people have been disappointed already so I'm just giving you a heads up. If you like it, then let me know. Thanks.

He spent yet another night in his bed, smiling like an idiot, his arms propping up the back of his head as he stared at the ceiling of his bunk. It had been weeks since he had experienced the most sensual, loving, joy-filled thing in his life and he still couldn't keep the grin away. He felt like a child, still giddy over his first kiss. It was anything but his first, but it made him feel as though it truly was.

Night after night, he had wanted her to return to him, to walk through his door and smile that damn smile of hers, but he knew she wouldn't. Every night, he dreamt of her. Every night, he could still feel the heat from her body pressed against his only to wake and see her not there.

It was a bit heartbreaking, her absence in his bed, but he knew this was the best thing. There couldn't be a relationship with her, nothing more then the friendship they already had. He wouldn't dare press it either. Fear was the only thing that kept him from moving forward with anything and he was more then grateful he was finally smart enough to be afraid of something.

He was scared they would do something, sex being the ultimate goal, and something would happen. He was scared Simon would find out and freak. He was scared her brother would take her away to 'protect' her from the insatiable captain. He was scared he would never see her again, never hear her voice, never see her smile, and never hear her laugh again. Truly frightening thoughts. But what was worse, the one fear the gripped him the tightest without letting go, was the fear something might happen. What if he formed a relationship with her and everything was perfect? He knew he wouldn't be able to live if something ever happened to her or he lost her in some way.

Those were the thoughts that kept him up the most. Before the kiss, he was more then willing to take her out into the world and let her roam free with them. Before the kiss, she was a crew member's sister. Before the kiss, she was just another person on his pay role. Before the kiss, he had a rational mind and could function. Now, everything was out the window and all bets were off.

She confused him more then any other woman ever had, even more then Inara and that was saying something. He had begun to second guess his jobs, his decisions. She had penetrated everything he was with nothing more then a kiss.

The smile on Mal's face widened as he touched his lips lightly. He could still feel the heart from her mouth when he thought about it. Shoving himself up from his bed, Mal removed his shirt, tossing it haphazardly to the floor like the rest of his clothing and sat on his bed to remove his boots. The smell of his socks made his nose wrinkle. He needed a shower but not tonight. He was tired as he tossed the articles away from him, throwing his body down on his bed once more.

Sleep took hold of him soon and he was grateful. His dreams were the one place he could have everything he had ever wanted. To his disappointment, Mal woke sometime later, the light in his room still on. He groaned, kicking himself for not being able to sleep. As he rolled his large frame over to his side, something caught his attention. Looking back to his stairs, Mal watched as a pair of delicate feet appeared, followed by a splendid pair of legs leading up to her beautiful body and then that face. This was his dream. It may have started slowly, but Mal knew this was a dream and he knew exactly what was going to happen next.

He smiled wide as she walked silently forward, her body wrapped in the same delicate robe he had seen her in so many times before. It was that beautiful shade of purple that made her skin that much fairer, her hair that much darker, and her eyes pop all the more. He loved that color on her.

Her cheeks blushed as she walked slowly to him, her movements unsure. Slowly, Mal sat up in his bed, his smile still plastered on his face.

"Can I help you little one?" he asked like every other time. This was his fantasy after all.

She remained silent as she sat next to him on his bed. He smiled as her light frame made almost no impression on the cot.

"What's on your mind?" he asked kindly, sensing her apprehension.

"The kiss." she answered softly.

This was the first time she had looked up into his face and it was only his lips she looked at. Mal felt a pull in his gut to pull her close to him, his pants growing tight in anticipation to what he knew was going to happen.

Before he could fight what was going to happen, not that he would, River had pounced on him. Her lips caught his in a ferocious kiss, something he hadn't thought would happen. His river had always been timid until the end, needing him to show her how things were going to be done, not this one. He liked the new River. This was going to be more fun then he thought.

River had straddled his lap, her delicate, but strong arms wrapped around his neck while his own clamped to her hips. She kissed hungrily, her tongue forcing its way into his mouth without hesitation. He could feel the yearning in her touch as she tried to devour every bit of him. Mal was enjoying himself completely until she bit his bottom lip.

The feeling of his lip between her perfect lips as she sucked on it before pulling away was more then any man could take. Holding to her tightly, he swung around, planting her back onto his bed, resting on his elbows on either side of her face.

Her hair cascaded into a beautiful fan around her head on his pillow beneath them, her legs still connected to his hips, her brown eyes nearly black with lust. Mal felt his eyes close as he leaned into her hand. She touched his cheek lightly and the feeling was something he couldn't help but love.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked her, his voice deep and gruff.

She didn't reply. Mal watched as she bit her bottom lip and nodded. Women didn't realize how something so simply could make a man lose his mind.

With a steady hand, Mal began to untie the robe around her body. She put up no resistance as he moved his fingers down her body. His bright blue eyes were still focused intently on her deep brown until the task was done.

This part was always a little fuzzy since he never had a template to base his fantasies on, but she was perfect now. Mal pulled himself back as far as he dared, not wanting to be too far from her, as he lightly moved the thin fabric from her body. There she was, in all of her glory.

The dim light in his bunk made her naked body look as though she was glowing. He was going to memorize this version of her as he stared at her. There was never going to be a time now where he wouldn't see this image in his head.

"Captain…"

Her voice suddenly sent shivers down his back as his eyes shot to hers. She hadn't spoken yet, not other then her first initial words and the sound of her voice was never sweeter.

"Yeah?"

"Please?"

The quiet whisper would have been lost on anyone else, but they rang loudly to him.

"You a virgin?"

She nodded, not needing her voice anymore. He knew she was because the real River was too. In his dreams, she was always a virgin and he was the one that thought her what it was like to feel real pleasure. Part of him was thankful that he had such vivid dreams. He knew he wasn't brave enough otherwise.

Mal smiled as his hand moved between them, touching her sensitive spot and watching her squirm. She was ready for him already and he knew she would be. River's eyes closed as he began to work gently on her body. He delighted as her fingers gripped the blanket beneath her, her body flushing, sounds escaping her perfect lips.

He couldn't stand it anymore and kissed her once more before her body began to shake. She was close. Inserting two fingers into her, Mal knew he had to prepare himself for her body or he was going to lose it. She was tighter then he imagined but it took only seconds for her to clamp down around him.

River stifled a moan as she came around him. Small tremors radiated through her body as she tried to steady her breathing. He couldn't help but smile at her as her heavy lids pried themselves open. She couldn't be more gorgeous to him then she was right now. Well, not quite.

"Are you ready?" he asked quietly.

Again, she remained quiet and only nodded. Mal couldn't help but think that perhaps she had lost her voice for a moment.

He stood, keeping his eyes on hers as he unbuttoned his pants and let them fall to the ground. He was completely exposed, something she wasn't ignorant to. Mal had always been well endowed, at least in his mind, but at times like this he knew he was right. A chuckle left his throat as he stared at River's wide eyes before gently laying back on top of her.

"Will it hurt?" she asked.

This was the first time he had seen fear in her eyes. Mal let a slight grin touch his lips before he kissed her. When he pulled free, he nodded.

"At first. You want me to stop, just tell me. It'll go away soon enough. Trust me."

She nodded again and Mal positioned himself at her entrance. He heard her gasp as he slowly began to push himself inside. He knew what he was going to do but he couldn't find the words to say it. As he looked into her face, he saw her nod slightly. This was his cue.

With a fast thrust, Mal was amerced inside her completely. She cried out, something he had expected. Quickly, River bit down on her lip to silence herself, her eyes clamped shut tightly. He watched her, trying to steady his own mind as tears formed in the corners of her eyes. Slowly, he bent down and kissed her once more. She received him lovingly as the throbbing pain ebbed.

When he pulled back, she nodded, his signal to move. Slowly, mostly to make sure he wouldn't lose himself, Mal moved inside her. There was nothing in the world, in the verse, that was as perfect as her. Her heat radiated through him, her channel holding tight as he moved. River began to let her body relax as he continued his actions, her legs wrapping around his waist once more, her hands around his neck.

Eventually, his pace quickened and he was instantly rewarded for it. River began to moan, gasping with each thrust. Mal still had to try and focus on something else, anything else or he was going to release too early.

Her fingernails dug into his shoulders as she pulled him closer to her. Mal buried his face in her shoulder as he began to pound within her. River's sounds grew louder with each pass. Still her worked feverishly. His skin began to heat with his movements, her own having long since gathered small beads of sweat. Still, he moved.

He felt her body begin to move into his and knew she was closing in on another orgasm. Mal began to pound into her ferociously, his own grunts filling his ears until he heard her call for him. Her walls clamped down around him, her body shaking, his name escaping her beautiful lips, her fingernails digging into the flesh on his shoulders. There was no controlling himself any longer. With one final thrust, Mal spilled himself within her.

He panted, trying to keep himself from collapsing on top of her. The weight of his body was too much for his shaking arms and reluctantly rolled over onto his side next to her. His large arms wrapped themselves around the still shaking body of the young woman he had seen repeatedly while he slept.

"I think I love you little one." he muttered under his breath as his eyes closed.

"I love you too Malcolm." she whispered.

In the morning, Mal woke like he had so many times before, alone in his bed. Last night was yet another night of enjoyable dreaming. He stretched long on his bed, still smiling like an idiot as he stood. With his arms above his head, Mal could smell himself and it was disgusting.

With another sigh, he made his way up the ladder and out of his room. Definitely time for a shower. He made his way down the corridors, coming to the common room where half of the crew was eating their breakfast. Jayne was still sleeping, something he did until all hours of the day. Simon and Kaylee were talking and laughing. River was staring off into space, and Zoe was reading a magazine until she heard him.

"Morning Captain." she said with a smile.

"Mornin' all."

"Bout time you took a shower Cap'n." Kaylee laughed. "You stink something awful."

He laughed at her remark before walking pass them.

"Whoa Cap'n. What happened to your back?"

Kaylee's voice brought him out of his mind and he turned to notice her coming up behind him.

He felt her hand lightly touch his skin before Simon came up with a small mirror. Mal eyed them both skeptically before walking to a mirror on the wall. Using the small one, Mal adjusted himself to see what they had been talking about. Sure enough, there were eight small, pink, crescent shaped marks on his back. Fear rook him as he turned around to see a brightly blushing River looking back at him before walking out of the room.

"Oh god…" he whispered.