Was it someone's fault that she can't be normal anymore? Did someone's action or words go much to far to recover from? Or was it her? Was she just used to the max and thrown out like last season's closet? Suppose it doesn't matter now. She's ruined, damaged, discarded, looked down upon, and gone.

Establishing a life here wasn't as hard as she made it out to be. A month in she had already made friends, got a good paying job as an assistant to an architectural designer, found a small apartment to live in, and not let anyone find her.

Still at night, the nightmares wouldn't let her sleep. For every time her eyes drifted to a close, she was back there. Trapped and locked in that small corner. Cutting down anyone who dare even come near her. After all, who the hell were they to come in and show off how together they had their life; when hers was falling apart? Even though when she went to bed in her new apartment, she always left a light on. She hated the darkness now. It scared her. She could never see what was waiting in it. Something that might come after her, something, someone, anyone, anytime, anywhere. How could she have fallen to this though? Living in fear of what's around the next corner. Holding her breath every time the phone rings.

She's gotten so worked-up and worried herself that many mornings she woke-up sick. Throwing up, weak, head spinning, can barely muster the strength to leave the house kind of sick.

"I'm telling you Cornella," a blonde headed girl with a southern twang chimed into Blair's ear. One of her many associates here in the work arena. Mali, the blonde, had proclaimed herself Blair's best friend. Always happy and buzzing around with some good news. Hearing her rattle on kind of reminded Blair of something she was trying to forget. Her old best friend. One who is probably almost certain she is dead. "He is so into you its pathetic. He is the lead designer and he follows you around like a lost puppy!"

"You're insane Mali." Blair rolled her eyes and sorted through some blueprints that were scattered about her desk.

"I'm not! You've got him hooked! Shane Foster is a fine piece of man! As far as I know he has never been married, doesn't mess around, and is enamored with you!" Mali continued to bubble, her spiral blonde curls bouncing up and down.

"You're thinking too much into it." Blair sighed and continued with her project.

"Jesus Cornella! You never go out! This is your only social life and it doesn't even count as 'social life' since its work! Where did you move from Loserville?" Mali was pouting now. Her pink lips stuck out and her arms unhappily crossed over her chest.

Blair didn't answer her. Instead she chose to ignore this rant Mali was going on, after all it happened frequently.

"Now that I think about it, I've never seen you even talk to a guy unless you were standing five feet from him. You gotta guy-a-phobia?" Mali seemed like she was really thinking hard into and Blair didn't want her to burn her brain cells out so early in the morning.

"I've been in town a month." She didn't want to go near any guys. No.

Blair shook the thoughts from mind and plastered a smile on her face for Mali.

"Just give him a chance." Mali resorted to whining and stomping her foot.

"Why are you so concerned with my dating life?"

"Just want you to live your life." Mali shrugged and then turned to head to her own desk.

The reason behind her moving here was so she could forget that life. Not just start a fresh one here.

Mali was right about one thing though. Shane did have it bad for Blair. Only she can't stand the thought of being in a relationship of any kind. The daily routine she had built for herself was good enough. Get up (if she slept at all), go to work, do a good job, laugh when needed, go home, and then try to get some sleep. It was perfect. At least to her it was. It barely left her anytime to reflect.

Suddenly she could taste stomach acid in her mouth, making her almost gag. She dropped the blueprints in her hand and started to make a quick sprint for the restroom.

With grace she got into the ladies room and locked the door before losing all the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. She quickly flushed the toilet before the smell could reach her nose and make her throw up even more.

Where the hell did that come from?

She sat by the toilet for a minute more to make sure another spell didn't come over her. Once she was certain of herself, she raised to her feet and went over to the sink. As quick as she could, she snapped the water on to wash out her mouth. Maybe she should go to the doctor to see if she picked something up. A stomach virus was the last thing she needed right now. Any type of illness was one she didn't need really.

"Hey Cornella, you okay?" Mali knocked from the other side of the door.

"Yeah! Food poisoning." she called back to her.

Blair had expected Mali to be gone by the time she opened the door, but she wasn't. Instead Mali greeted her with a worried expression and sad puppy eyes.

"You don't look good. You should go to the doctor."

"I was going to make an appointment when I got home, but for now I need to finish sorting these. Shane needed them by tomorrow." Blair smiled, the previous minutes forgotten.

"Speaking of Mr. Tall-blonde-and-handsome." Mali pointed to the left.

Blair's eyes followed her finger's direction and landed on what was in fact a very good looking man.

Shane Foster. Head designer of the Foster's company. Tall, around 6' 2"; dirty blonde hair; lean body put enough muscle to see it through his dark suit. Brown eyes that you couldn't help but fall into.

"Ms. Waldorf, are you feeling alright?" Slight worry showed in his eyes.

"Just a little bug. Nothing big." Blair tossed a smile over to him and then cut her eyes over to Mali, who instead of getting a smile, received a death glare.

"This is nothing new to you is it? Cheating. Going behind your boyfriend's back? You're just a nasty little whore, aren't you?" The man hovering over Blair's body whispered huskily in her ear.

Was that her definition? Was that what she had become to everyone else as well? Because she knew herself that she wasn't the golden girl she was at the beginning of this year.

"There are two things that are hard to break: Addictions and Habits." The man continued. "Seems you have two crosses to bear."

Damn!

Blair bolted up from her bed. She'd finally managed to go to bed and she had to have a nightmare?

Suddenly it felt like her skin was crawling and her nausea from earlier came rushing back. She hoped out of her bed and dashed over to her awaiting bathroom. Seemed she was spending more and more time in here.

Her stomach gave its best attempt to make her puke but there was nothing left to puke. She stole a glance at the clock on the wall. Five in the morning. Ugh. It was way to early for this!

Exhausted, she laid down against the cool bathroom tile.

"Well, Ms. Waldorf, I have lots of good news for you." A balding man in a white doctor's coat came into her examination room.

She had decided to take half the day off and go to the doctor. Mali was covering her morning meetings to make up for whatever she had done yesterday.

"You don't have any type of stomach virus or flu, for starters." He smiled at Blair as he took his seat in the chair across from her bed.

"That's good." Blair nodded in agreement.

"But, Ms. Waldorf, I am almost certain what is wrong with your stomach." His tone went down some, as if was supposed to be warning her for an upcoming blow. "On you're examine sheet, you said your last menstrual period was three months ago. Have you been under stress or are you just irregular?" He furrowed his white brows together.

That's all for now folks. I think this chapter was more just to establish her…I don't know how much I'll get this week. I'm trying to finish my English report on James Whitcomb Riley, so bear with me through this! Thanks for reading!

So what do you think so far?

RAWR