A/N: OK, so at the start of the year they told us we would have a report card in the first term, so in every subject we are having tests. which sucks. and, you know, impacts my writing. A LOT. even now, i have a chemistry and German test tomorrow and i have done zero revision for it. Nada. as soon as I have posted this, I am gettin' out my books and settlin' down for a long evening/morning of studdying. combined with that, there have been 61 viewers and 2 reviews. come on guys! even just a single word. look at it this way:

finish reading story

click in review box

type one word.

s-t-u-p-i-d. or C-o-o-l. you don't even have to put a full stop!

you can type your name if you want

click send.

done! and i update 6739205637246538x quicker! lol

in fact, the only reason i haven't given up on this story was because of ShadowAlchemist503 (ps yes, you can ;P). YAAAAAY! her/his review, which was also the first review i have ever gotten, FYI, helped me feel less like this: oh-god-no-one-has-bothered-to-review-because-my-st ory-is-a-fail-and-my-life-is-sad-WAAAAAA

and more like this: WOOOO-SOMEONE-LIKES-MY-STORY-*HAPPY*-*DANCE*-YAY

thank you also to Gemma Grimm who i couldn't reply too cause she wasn't logged in :(. but sill, you review MATTERS. TO ME. PLEASE.

too all those who have followed/favourited/reviewed, i hope you like your INTERNET BANANA!

(you should find it in your inbox ;)

anyway, this is just a bit of a jokey chapter as a filler to keep you guys entertained because i haven't been able to write anything substantial .

go forth; READ!

The food sizzled in the pan as I waited for everyone to come downstairs. I stared absently out of the window, lost in a happy little revive.

"Sophie" calcifer said "Sophie? Hmm you might want to-" I waved a sleepy hand in his direction

" shhhhsh, calcifer, I"m daydreaming" calcifer paused

"...yeah, OK but could you just-"

"no." I tried to ignore him but his screechy little voice was too insistent.

"Sophie! Sophie! SOPHIE!" I continued staring out the window. I felt a burning flash of heat on my arm and I jerked my hand back, jarring the frying pan out of my grip and onto the floor. I rubbed the pink streak on my forearm and glared at calcifer.

"You burned me" I said accusingly. He flared up massively and bellowed

"SOPHIE! HE FOOD IS ON FIRE!"

"WHAT?!" I leapt up, knocking the chair to the floor, and sure enough, the bacon was on fire. I had knocked the pan to the floor and spilled the food everywhere, and the room was covered in strips of flaming bacon.

"GAAAH" I yelled and ran round the room stamping on the fiery bacon to put it out. Finally, all the bacon had been stomped on, and reduces to a crispy pile of ashes. Mmmh, smoky. I stood with my back to calcifer and counted the scorch marks

" ..1..2.3...4..5..." I froze. Where was the sixth scorch mark? I had put six pieces of bacon in the pan so...it was still smouldering somewhere I couldn't see. I scanned the room feverishly. The warmth behind me began to increase steadily.

"No need to be worried calcifer, I'll find the bacon..." The heat continued to increase, accompanied by a FWOOSH of rising flame. I sighed and turned round just as calcifer noticed and yelled

"SOOOOOPHIEEEEE! THE CHAIR IS ON FIRE!"

I sprinted over to the sink and started to fill a flower bucket, complete with flowers in it, with water. "Thanks for the warning calcifer!" I yelled sarcasticly, before dashing over to the chair. he just shrugged and said

"better late than never."I flung the water over the chair, but the bucket was small, and most of the space was taken up by the little purple flowers I had picked earlier. They were magically preserved, so when they landed on and around the chair, they didn't burst into flames.

"What a pretty fire!" I turned, astounded, to find the witch of the waste, or granny as we affectionately called her, staring at the flower covered chair. I must have stood too close to the fire, because the next thing I knew calcifer was shrieking

" SOPHIE! YOUR DREEEEEESS!" I turned and found that the back of my dress was on fire, the flames dancing merrily. I screamed and dropped to the floor rolling around and trying to put out the flames.

"stop, drop n' roll, stop, drop n' roll, stop, drop n' roll" I yelled, twisting around like a demented monkey having a heart attack. Aaaaand that was what howl saw when he walked in, dressed in black trousers and an immaculate white shirt.

we must have looked like we were performing some sort of crazy ritual, with me rolling around screaming before a burning chair covered with little purple flowers. "This is not what it looks like" I yelled from the floor, still rolling and thrashing.

RIGHT! that's that then!

if you want a piece of internet food, follow/favourite/review! DO ALL THREE TO GET A BONUS!

A QUESTION FOR ALL YOU AMERICANS: what languages do you learn in middle school?

love you all

~Mae