Chapter 2

This world is hard. It has sharp edges and points that cut.

It'll make you choose between love, money and sleep.

Choose love each time and sleep when you can, money - only when you must.

-pleasefindthis

Naomi and Cook are now sitting on the couch in the living room, his arm around her shoulder while she lays slightly in the crook of his neck.

"I called Effy over, hope s'alright?" he asks her hesitantly.

"That's fine Cookie" she says inhaling his scent a little bit, she feels as if her senses have become stronger since she received the bad news.

She thinks maybe it's because she's trying to remember everything now, the way Cook's shoulder feels, hard and muscular and how the tiniest hint of aftershave makes its way into her nostrils. It's comforting, being like this with him, he's always been a teddy bear of sorts to her. She starts to think about missing him and him missing her but she pushes that thought away quickly, she's not ready to think that way just yet.

She told Cook she had decided against anymore treatment, told him everything the doctor said. He was being brave for her. He was being understanding though she could see a well of tears in his eyes when he said " I got your back Naomikins, I got your back." That enough nearly killed her, she decided to seal her heart in a block of ice for the time being.

She keeps wondering why she hasn't cried. She hasn't shed one single tear for herself. But the truth is, she's too tired to cry. She's cried for years through all of the pain. Through all of this mess. I guess she finally settles on the fact that she feels no reason to cry anymore, this was always a possibility and she knew that, has had time to prepare herself somewhat but really, who could ever truly prepare themselves for something like this. No one. No one could.

She's nudged out of her deep thoughts by Cook who has put his hand on her face, cupping it gently and staring her straight in the eyes.

"I think Eff is here, I'm just gonna pop up for a bit and get the door alright, Blondie?" He asks with a small, comforting smile gracing his features.

She can't help but smile slightly at the sweet gesture and the nick name he's adopted for her. "Cook it's fine, I don't need to be babysat"

He chuckles slightly and gets up off the couch and winks at her. 'He's being so brave, so wonderful' Naomi thinks.

Before Naomi can finish the rest of her thoughts Cook is already sat beside her again with his arm around her. Effy , Oh beautiful Effy. She's sitting across from them on the coffee table, her hand on Naomi's knee.

The three of them have been friends almost as long as Naomi and Cook. Cook and Effy were seeing each other for a little while but decided on just being friends, it tore Cook up for a brief time but he's had time to move on from it. They are all very close, only depending on each other, because they knew they always could. Naomi loves them more than she could ever say, they've been though it all. The death of Naomi's mum three years ago, Effy's mental breakdown and Cook's self destructive phase. Inseparable they are.

Effy is looking at her in a way that Naomi has only seen once or twice. It startles her, the fragile look in her eyes. She realizes she is about to break Effy's heart, having already broken Cook's. She grabs a hold of Cook's hand. He threads their fingers together and gives her hand a slight, comforting squeeze.

"Nae?" Effy asks, getting Naomi's attention. Effy is looking between her and Cook, her eyes seem to be pleading for answers.

Naomi is grateful that Cook didn't tell her anything when he called her over. It's best she hears this from her she thinks. She looks up at Cook and he gives her a slight nod, telling her that it will be okay, that he's there and he's not going anywhere.

"I….I've relapsed Eff, the cancer, it…well…the chemo, it didn't work" Naomi has to look away, she doesn't want to watch Effy's heart shatter right in front of her.

"But there's more they can do right? More chemo?" Effy asks, sounding likes she's holding on to all the hope that's left.

Naomi feels Cook shift uncomfortably next to her and she grips his hand even tighter. He responds by gripping back with just as much fervor.

"No Eff…I'm done with treatment" Naomi says finally looking at Effy's strikingly blue eyes.

The thing about Cook and Effy is that they understand everything Naomi has been through. Effy was there shaving Naomi's head right before she went into her first round of chemo. Cook sat with her in the hospital hardly ever leaving her side, practically living off of coffee the entire time. They won't judge her for her decisions, they wont see this as giving up. Acceptance is what it is. And she so desperately needs that right now.

Effy is crying and it jolts something in Naomi so much that her entire body feels like it's burning and she finds that feeling so familiar, it reminds her of the chemo.

Naomi lets go of Cook's hand and reaches her body over to Effy who has her head in her palms, still sitting on the coffee table. She is visibly shaking and Naomi can only wrap the small girl in her arms and say "It's okay" but she realizes it's a little silly to say such a thing when it can't be farther from the truth.

Effy mumbles something incoherently into Naomi's shoulder and Naomi has to pull back a bit and puts her hand on the dark haired girls chin so that they are now looking each other in the eyes.

"What did you say Eff?" Naomi asks, her hands now on Effy's shoulders, rubbing them slightly.

"H…How…How long?" Effy asks in between silent sobs.

"8 months. Give or take" Naomi says in almost a whisper.

Cook sits forward on the couch and grabs both of them into a hug. Naomi feels Effy silently crying against her and feels Cook bury himself inside her neck and breathe deeply. All Naomi can think about is how much she loves the two of them, how badly this hurts, and how she wishes she never caused this pain upon them.

They stay like that for a little while. None of them wanting to let the other go.

Stretching slightly and trying to work the pain in her neck out Naomi realizes she's not alone in her bed. She feels warmth on either side of her and sees that Cook and Effy are asleep next to her. Naomi looks at them for a few moments, just thinking, thinking about all of the parties they've crashed, all the times they've shared. She surprises herself again that she's not crying. Eventually blaming it on shock.

She lays back down flat on the bed and gazes up at the ceiling. She thinks of her mum and how much she misses her and wishes she was here to guide her through this. She thinks of all her failed relationships, all of those girls. Her heart was never entirely in it. She could never bring herself to give someone else her heart, the thought reminding her that she's never been in love. She feels a pang of regret in her stomach as she thinks about that.

She decides to get up and have a shower. So many thoughts plaguing her mind as she gets ready for the day.

Not wanting to wake up her two best friends she leaves a note in the middle of the bed where she was sleeping .

Gone out to the office for a bit, be back soon.

N xoxox

She walks out of the building and onto the street, deciding that she would rather walk than take her car. It's cloudy out and looks as if it may rain, but she's beyond caring. Happy to have the fresh air in her lungs to clear her mind.

She reaches the large steps to her office building. Takes note that for some reason it all looks different today, everything looks different even though she has seen it all thousands of times before.

She has worked for a prestigious political magazine, writing articles about current politics and political debauchery. She's never really liked it though. Always found it a bit boring.

But today is different. She's on a sort of mission today, she thought long and hard about it in the shower and had come to a decision. She's going to quit her job. She doesn't want to waste the time she has left on working a trivial job that hasn't given her any satisfaction for years. That and her boss is quite a prick.

"Ah! Naomi! I thought you had today off?" her boss, Mark asks her with a fake smile on his face. His insincerity is what she hates most about him.

"Came in to pick up a few things, Mark" she answers, vaguely.

"Nonsense! Now that I have you here you wouldn't mind looking over a few things for me would you?" he asks, again with the fake smile that really is actually kind of creepy.

He never seems to do any of his own work, always piling it on Naomi or someone else. He's also a horrible writer, she's often wondered how he got the job in the first place.

"Actually Mark, Yeah I would mind" she snaps back at him.

"Now Naomi Darling, is that any way to talk to your boss?" he shoots back, though he seemed surprised at Naomi's sudden bravery.

"Ex-Boss" Naomi says pointedly.

"Excuse me?" Mark says, completely taken aback.

"I quit Mark, I fucking quit" Naomi says, standing up straight. " You can shove it all up your tits, Mark!"

Mark looks like a fish, just opening and closing his mouth, in complete shock. "Fucking wanker" Naomi says as she walks past him into her office.

She gathers everything in her office into a small box, looking through some photo frames she has scattered around. A lot of them of her, Cook and Effy and a few of her mum. Nostalgia settling in, she sits down at her desk and looks around the small office and smiles slightly to herself.

Live for today she tells herself. Live for fucking today.

Walking back to the loft her and Cook share she decides to make a detour to grab a coffee. Sleep didn't come to her easily the night before, she kept dreaming of hospital beds and the smell of disinfectant.

She feels her cell phone vibrate in her pocket and sees that she has a text from Effy.

U OK? -E it says, and Naomi can't help but laugh slightly at that. She's so used to Effy being sarcastic and all knowing. She's not used to Effy being concerned.

All good, Eff. No worries -N. She quickly shoots back a reply. As she's putting her phone back into her pocket she rounds a corner and bumps into something, dropping her small box of belongings from the office and her purse on the ground.

As Naomi is finding her footing and trying to figure out exactly what she ran into she hears a husky voice.

"Oh shit, I am so so sorry. Fuck, I'm so clumsy! Are you alright?" The voice says and Naomi, after finally finding her balance looks down at the girl who is quite a bit shorter than her and has the reddest hair she's ever seen. It makes her stomach tumble and she doesn't know why. Dismisses it and blames it on the near fall.

"It's alright, I wasn't watching where I was going either" Naomi offers with a small smile on her face.

"Well let me help you with your stuff, It's the least I can do" The small girl says smiling shyly.

Naomi's about to say it's alright and to not worry about it but the red head is already bent down helping her pick up her things. Their hands bump briefly and Naomi feels as though she's been burned, and she can swear she hears a small gasp from the girl confirming that she felt it as well.

After sorting everything out and getting her things back together Naomi looks down at the girl again. "Thanks, you really didn't' have to do that"

"Oh nonsense" The red head offers with a slight chuckle.

Naomi doesn't know why she does it. She could have easily just brushed this off and walked away but the petite girl seemed to be standing there expectantly or maybe it was just Naomi's imagination, but nevertheless she introduces herself.

"I'm Naomi by the way" She says offering her hand to the girl.

"Emily. It's nice to meet you" Emily says taking Naomi's hand in her own and shaking it slightly.

Naomi feels slightly awkward and realizes she didn't plan out much conversation after the introduction.

"Well…erm…Thanks again…for your help" The blond says awkwardly and immediately feels embarrassed.

Emily just has a small smile on her face and Naomi takes that as her cue to leave. She walks about 3 steps before she hears Emily call out her name. She turns around to see Emily shuffling her feet back and forth nervously.

"Um…Could I buy you a coffee? To you know…make up for practically running you over?" the red head asks awkwardly.

Naomi thinks to herself for a second. She doesn't see any harm in it. When she tells Emily that that would be nice she notices the brown of Emily's eyes and feels that tumble in her stomach again.

But this time it only worries her.

Feedback is awesome. Should I keep going or is this fic just depressing the hell out of you? haha