I laughed when I opened the door and saw Alice. She was always cheerful, could always change my mood and make me smile. She was a great sister. I instantly felt guilty for leaving the Cullens. Leaving Esme, my "mother," was the hardest thing of all. She truly loved me like her son. I know it broke her heart when I parted…but I had to. I had to be by myself. I couldn't bring my melancholy on anyone else.

Watching Alice bound into the room brought a smile to my face. It was easy to see why Jasper loves her. She is the bright spot in his dark life.

"Thanks for coming, Alice," I said. She smiled and nodded.

"My pleasure, brother." She looked around my home and sighed. It is pretty stark; no knick-knacks of any kind, no paintings. Minimal furniture, dark walls. A few pictures of Bella around though. "You could definitely use a woman's touch."

I chuckled. "I'm sure you would love to tackle it." She smiled again. "But decorating my apartment is not why I asked you here. I want you to use your visions."

She sat in the recliner and looked at me. "For what?" I sat down on the coffee table facing her. "For Bella," I said. Alice stared at me. "Don't look at me like that, Alice. You know that I've never stopped loving her."

She nodded slowly. "I know. I'm just wondering why you want me to find her now, after forty years. Let me remind you that you forbade me to watch her in the past."

I ran my fingers through my hair. "Yes, I know. But I miss her terribly. I have given her forty-two years; I just want to make sure she's alright. I want to make sure she's happy and safe and loved." The last part was a lie. I hated the thought of another man loving her; she was meant for me.

She cocked an eyebrow at me; sometimes she could see right through me. "Okay," she said slowly. "Do you want me to try to find her now?"

I nodded and stood up. I walked over to the television, where a picture of Bella sat. I brought it to her. "You may need a visual." She grunted. "I remember her perfectly Edward." She closed her eyes.

I remember her too, I thought. Every detail. The depth of her chocolate brown eyes, her smile, the fullness of her lips, her kiss. The frailness of her body against mine. How her smell calls to me. I remember it all.

Alice drew in her breath sharply. I looked at her. "What is it Alice?" She looked as though in a trance; her vision apparent. "Bella's not in Forks," she said. I nodded. "I figured as much." She shook her head.

"I can't get a read on where she is, Edward. The vision isn't clear. I see Charlie, he is in a home. I see Mike Newton, he never left Forks. It looks like he has been married three times. Gained a lot of weight. And Angela Weber is there too. She became principal of Forks High."

I sighed, frustrated. "That's great Alice, but I'm not looking for a class reunion. I want to find Bella." She turned and snapped at me. "I told you she's not in Forks. The visions I'm getting are unclear. I am mainly seeing her through Charlie's head, but even then they're faded."

"Then I'll go to Forks," I said. Alice's eyes grew big. "Are you sure that's right?" she asked me. "I mean, are you sure you want to interfere? It's been so long, Edward. Think of the repercussions."

"I have thought about it Alice. I've thought about that for over forty years. Do you think it's been easy staying away from the one I love? The only bright spot in my moonlit night? She is the only reason I still exist; her life makes me continue on. So many times I've wanted to call her or write to her or even visit her, to break my reserve. But I couldn't do that to her. I couldn't hurt her like that."

"But it's okay to hurt her now?" she asked sharply. I sighed. "No, it's not. I don't want to hurt her, never wanted to. I thought that leaving was the best way to keep her safe. I know that was wrong; I know of the crazy things she did back in Forks." My mind drifted to her reckless behavior: riding motorcycles, cliff diving, associating with werewolves. I knew of it all, knew that I was the cause of it. I continued.

"But that was a long time ago, Alice. Time heals all wounds for humans, right? Maybe now she'll see me as a crush, one she felt something for when she was a child."

Alice shook her head. "You know that isn't true, Edward." I looked at her. "You know that her feelings for you weren't because of a 'crush.' She loves you as much as you love her. A love like that is everlasting. It is similar to what Jazz and I have."

I stared into her golden eyes. She continued. "It is eternal, you know that. As long as I walk this Earth, I will love Jasper. Nothing will change that. He could decide to leave me, walk away without a look back and I would still love him. I would still believe that love would reunite us someday."

I nodded. I knew that they would never be apart, they were soul mates. "So you think what Bella and I share is similar to you and Jasper?" I was hopeful. She nodded in response. I groaned. "I have to find her Alice. I can't stay away anymore."

She opened up her bag and handed me a plane ticket. She already knew, she already saw. "Then you better get going to Forks."