The Forever Kind

by rivereq

A sequel to The Rebel Kind. AH/OOC.

2. Chapter 2

Richelle Mead owns these characters.

Chapter 2: This is a foreground.

...First Day of School...

'And that's the student center...'

'You can study if you need to in there. It's also sort of a hang out, the food taste a little dry and it always smells like coffee but the hot chocolate is great.' He smiles at me before squeezing my hand in his warm one.

'Oh and for good donuts, there's this little shop on the other side of campus. It's behind the football field, kind of far from the classrooms but the donuts are worth it.' I shake my head at him and continue to let him drag me all over the campus for my private tour.

I think he was more excited than me now that this day had finally arrived. Dimitri had driven me up to school this morning and since then has been dragging me around campus showing me where everything was. I was tired and wanted to go unpack my things in my dorm room but the excitement on his face when he asked to show me around was something I couldn't resist.

'And the gym is there, in front of it they've got all this sidewalk and the handicap ramp is pretty sweet to skate. There's another spot to skate over by my dorm building, the curb goes all the way around the parking lot... I fell a couple of times trying to grind on it but I'm going to get it eventually.' I roll my eyes at him and smile keeping our hands entwined together as we continue walking.

This campus was pretty huge and a little intimidating I must admit. However, being here with Dimitri I had no worries of getting used to everything and fitting in. The few people he had introduced me to seemed really nice and some of the upper classmen were really helpful so far.This wasn't like high school, I knew that for sure. This was where a reputation didn't make you, you made yourself and the person you wanted to be.

Everyone was friends here or so it had seemed, but I was sure my time here was going to be quite the experience. And I was ready for it.It was hard to leave home this morning, mostly because Meredith would be back there without me. In the morning she was the first one awake and came to my room with toast and orange juice telling me to leave already. I'm sure she did it to show me that everything would be okay while I was gone. I, however, was a little unsure of leaving at all.

My mother was home now and still keeping her word of being sober. I still had insecurities about that whole issue though. I still hadn't been able to completely forgive her for everything that happened before and it was driving this even bigger wedge between us. I had tried, many times, to get myself to forgive and move on from the past. But for some reason I couldn't do it.I wanted to, I wanted to try and have a better relationship with my mother but there was something there that was blocking me from letting her in fully.

For example, the dinner Olena had made for me the night before I left and how she told me to invite my mother and bring Meredith. I had brought Meredith but I didn't tell my mother anything about it.

I was so unsure of what would happen if she had gone. I didn't want her to feel like she didn't fit in and I wasn't trying to be mean or anything, but I just couldn't let her into my life yet. It didn't feel... right, I guess. Something was holding me back.There was always something missing when it came to Janine and me. Something in the way but I didn't know what it was, why it was. Meredith had no problem sharing her life with Janine; she told her everything and anything. They had gotten a lot closer since she came home and cleaned up. The thing was I knew they both wanted me to accept her as well, but that was the thing; something wouldn't let me.

'Roza?' I snap out of my thoughts and find Dimitri's kind eyes meeting mine. 'We near your dorm, did you want to get settled in or keep our private tour going?'

His smile reaches his eyes and unconsciously I reach up to lightly touch his face. He leans into my hand cupping his cheek and his eyes say everything without him having to mutter one word.'I really missed you, Comrade.' He pulls me closer into him.

It had been a while since we got any time to ourselves and since preparing for school was keeping me busy lately, I wanted nothing more than to spend whatever free time I had with him. 'I'm so glad your finally here, Roza, that we're doing this together.'

I smile at him before he leans down and kisses me in the middle of the student filled quad like no else was there. And in that small moment, no one was, it was just me and him like it had always felt when he kissed me. He leans his forehead on mine and even though my eyes are still closed from the high of the kiss, I knew those deep brown eyes were carefully taking me in.Like we both couldn't believe we were actually here, finally able to be together with nothing in the way. No alcoholic mom to ruin our dates and no having to take Meredith along. I didn't mind taking her with me and neither did Dimitri but every once in a while it felt good to just be by ourselves, however selfish that made me.

We needed our time too.

He leans in for another kiss and just as our lips are about to meet, a deep voiced yell interrupts our moment. 'Hey, Belikov!' Dimitri sighs as I pull back and drops his chin to his chest tiredly. 'Ivonne, what do you want now?'

A guy almost as tall as Dimitri comes walking up to us from the quad. He had blonde hair and was kind of lanky skinny but the sleeveless white shirt he wore showed he had some muscles. He rolled his eyes at Dimitri before coming to a stop and then proceeding to look me up and down in not so subtle interest.

'I told you not to call me that, it's Ivan! Showing off your Russian skills in front of the ladies will get you nowhere my friend. So, who's the babe? She a freshman?' Without looking once at Dimitri, Ivan says that whole thing still checking me out.

Dimitri smiles apologetically at me before wrapping his arm across my shoulders and I automatically lean into him. 'This is my girlfriend, Rose. Roza, this is Ivan, my roommate, unfortunately.' I smile kindly and stick my hand out for him to shake.He doesn't, instead he grabs my hand and brings it to his lips to kiss my knuckles. I pull my hand away gently as Ivan smirks smugly and throws to an unimpressed Dimitri.

'As you can see, Ivan likes to make big first impressions, especially ones on pretty girls. If you can't keep your lips along with your eyes to yourself, I'd be happy to remind you very painfully how...'

Ivan smiles widely to Dimitri while I take both of them in. It was clear they were bantering friendly, I had heard a lot about Ivan while Dimitri was at school without me. Dimitri was certain Ivan was the biggest man whore on campus, always with a girl almost every night but it was never the same one. I sometimes got to hear them banter back and forth about it on the phone and would laugh, Ivan was a funny guy and he was a good friend to Dimitri.

They were complete opposites, with Ivan barely passing classes but having the social life of a celebrity. And Dimitri aced everything he took last semester but he had made a lot more friends than he had back in high school, and I was certain it was Ivan's doing. He was living the full college experience and he seemed way happier since Christian and Jill were both in California.

'So you're the famous, Rose, huh?' Ivan's words surprise me.

'Famous?' I give them both a questioning look and Ivan just smiles teasingly at Dimitri before answering.

'Yeah! This guy, all he does is read crappy cowboy books and talk about you. Oh, my little Roza, she's so beautiful. She's my everything. Oh, my Roza, I love you so much blah blah blah!' I laugh a little at his horrible fake Russian accent and Dimitri just shakes his head.

'Is that supposed to be my accent? It sounded French, I'm Russian, Ivan, you remember?' Ivan just shrugs it off and laughs. 'I'll work on it later. Anyway, it's finally nice to meet you, Rose. I've heard a lot about you.' I nod and give Dimitri my own teasing look.

'All good things I hope?' Ivan smiles at me and then looks to Dimitri before continuing.

'Oh, yeah, great things in fact. I mean, it's just when I say a lot, I mean a lot, like a lot a lot. Like I'll wake up and throw a good morning Dimitri out there and he's just like; oh, I love Roza! It's pathetic actually.' He smiles toward Dimitri again and all Dimitri just rolled his eyes.

I laugh it off and welcome the friendship they have. It was good and they had no problem teasing each other which I liked. An easy friendship, which I'm happy Dimitri made.'Anyway, you guys coming to the party tonight, right? Dimitri, I know you won't miss this one, you party animal, you! C'mon, bring Rose, introduce her to everybody, it'll be fun!'

I give Dimitri a look and he shrugs when our eyes meet. I nod back and then he and Ivan do the manly handshake thing before he answers. 'Yeah, I guess, we'll be there.'

Ivan laughs a little baffled at our silent conversation and then shakes my hand before running off to some girl who called him. 'He was nice, and funny, a little weird with flirting but he seems okay.'Dimitri laughs and shakes his head while glancing back to where Ivan ran off to. 'Yeah, he's a good guy but he could be a bit much at times.'

'Or you just really miss Christian...' He laughs and squeezes me closer to him as we walk to my dorm building.

...

'Do you think Ivan will be mad that we skipped the party?'

In the silent dark and really small dorm room, we both lay somehow in Dimitri's twin bed. He laughs contently and hugs me to his warm naked body before answering. 'I'm sure I'll catch some kind of heat over this but it was totally worth it.'

We laugh and lay together in the quiet room. Ivan usually stayed out all night, sleeping at whatever girl he was with that night's room or so I've heard. So Dimitri and I decided to skip the party altogether and enjoy our first night together at school in his empty room. I didn't mind the idea, if Ivan stayed out like this often, then I wouldn't be stuck in my dorm listening to my roommate Sydney's gospel music. I'd be here instead because this was the one place I wanted to be more than anything; with him.

'So, freshman, how did you like your first day on campus?'

I laugh and smack his shoulder as he holds me tightly. His chuckle is deep and rumbles through our bodies sending vibrating currents through my skin. I loved when we were like this, when after we had sex we would just lie together and bask in the warmth of the moment.'Are you going to call me that all the time now, Comrade? You know, you're still a freshman too!'

He squeezes me tighter to his body and tangles his fingers in my hair. 'You know, it was actually nothing like I expected.'

'Yeah, why is that?' I shrug and look up from his chest to face him.

I snuggle myself deeper into his warmth. 'I don't know... I mean, I didn't think I'd get the chance to actually go to college in the first place and now that I'm here, it's just... weird. Surreal.'

'In a good way or a bad way?' I lay my chin on his chest and smile at him. 'A good way, definitely a good way.' He smiles back down to me before leaning in and meeting our lips in a soft kiss.

'Well, I for one am glad you're here. I missed you terribly, Roza, you have no idea.' Oh, I had an idea alright.

'I missed you too. I missed you so much. It was hard, you know, with my mom and everything she had going on... And then Meredith adapting to all that and me leaving. Just got caught up in everything and couldn't make a whole lot of time for us...' He shrugs and pulls me to lay my head back down on his chest.

'Well, now we get to make time for us. I know we have classes and homework, and all these other things to get used to but I promise there will be more time for us. I'll make sure of it; I'll do whatever it takes, Roza. I promise.' I nod somehow tucked into him and he kisses my hair before we fall asleep in his bed for the first time of many nights.

...Present Day...

I wanted to call him.

I wanted to reach the few short inches from my bed to my nightstand, pick up the phone and call him. I missed him. I missed him a lot and sleep didn't look like it was coming any time soon.

So reliving the first day I arrived at school seemed like the wise thing to do, since I couldn't get Dimitri out of my mind. It seemed like a good idea at the time but now I wanted him. I wanted to be near him and hold his hand. I wanted to hear his voice tell me goodnight and that he loves me. I wanted to wake up in his small twin bed and catch him watching me sleep as he waited for me to wake up.

I really wanted to call him right now, but I knew that I couldn't. It wasn't a wise idea which let's face it, I wasn't having too many of those at the moment. I couldn't give in to my wants, even though I wanted him more than anything. We had to work out our issues on our own and when we did, we would work on us. It's sucks really hard but that's the only way I saw anything happening.

The things that changed and space that grew between me and Dimitri had affected us both greatly.

There were things he needed to figure out while I had to deal with my mother. I could only hope the space between him and I now, wouldn't get any bigger. I would hate for that to happen but he needed to figure out what he wanted. What he really truly wanted in his life and if I wasn't it then I would deal. It would suck terribly because I knew what I wanted; I just couldn't have it right now.

Those thoughts just make the want to call him deepen even more. I had to hold back, I didn't need to pile onto my already full plate. And he needed time. He needed to think about what happen and how to get his head back together. I needed time as well, for different reason but it was still all the same. If Sydney was right, time would heal all wounds. I just hoped mine weren't too deep to heal.

I tossed and turn into the night, not catching one ounce of sleep what so ever. And when I finally did fall asleep, I was awoken ten minutes later when my alarm clock went off.

I had wanted to get started early on cleaning the house before bringing Meredith back home. Alberta understood and kept her for one last night, so I got up at the ass crack of dawn and started cleaning. The kitchen had been cleaned and mopped, the trash tossed out and that's when I noticed there were beer bottles inside of the recycling can. Well, at least she was being green.

There were bottles of every kind of drink you could think of and I had to wonder just how long ago she had begun drinking again. I mean, was she doing it after I left for school or was she sneaking them around while I was still here? I guess I'd find out when I saw her again, looking forward to that.

'Rose?'

Alberta's soft voice snaps me out of my stare down with the trash can and I meet her at the old wooden fence that separates our yards. 'How late did you get in last night?'

I shrug and wonder what time it was now. The sun was out but not too bright and I knew Alberta was an early riser. 'It was after ten, I hope Meredith wasn't up waiting for me...' She shakes her head no and leans on the gate before spotting the yellow cleaning gloves I was wearing.

'Well, she was at first but she finally knocked out after I told her I would wake her when you got here. I'm surprised she fell asleep at all; she was so excited after you called. I didn't think it would help her lack of sleep already.'

'Well, that's good then. I can take her to school today; try to get her back on a routine.' Alberta nods and then glances back to her open patio door before looking back to me.

The expression on her face was a serious one and for a moment I was a little afraid she had more bad news. Great, just what I needed right now. 'I was wondering if you would come over after you take her to school. We can brainstorm and discuss where to start looking...' At first, I didn't know what she was talking about but then she had reminded me and I have to admit, I felt kind of bad afterward. 'For your mother...'

I shake out of the daze of her question and nod a yes. Then that feeling sinks into me. Did Alberta think badly of me for forgetting what she was talking about? Forgetting I had to find my mother? Or did she not even hold it against me? I didn't know but the look she gave me when she asked didn't seem like she was questioning me.

So I took it and tried to hide my uncaring feelings for finding my mother. 'Yeah, sure, sorry I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I'm a little out of it this morning.' I laugh it off.

I was hoping she bought my excuse but the polite smile she gave me didn't tell me anything. She was good at not giving away emotions, it sucked since I wanted know what she thought about this whole situation but was too scared of what she would think of me. 'Well, when you return just come on over and we'll start from the few places she used to go. There has to be someone who knows something... And I- I don't want you to worry, Rose, we'll find her.'

She seemed so determined and sure when she said that. The thing was I didn't want her to promise me anything. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to find my mother at all. I was too angry and disappointed in Janine to be around her at the moment. The only thing I wanted right now was back at school and I wasn't so sure where he and I stood anymore.

'Alberta?' She waited patiently for me to continue. 'Meredith, was she okay? When my mo-Janine brought her over, the night she left, was she okay?' Alberta nods before catching my eyes and I knew whatever she was going to say would piss me off.

'She was okay but I think it was when Janine didn't come back that Meredith got worried. She didn't say much or do much; she just wanted to know when your mother was coming back. I couldn't answer, I wasn't sure myself. So I thought I'd wait and when she didn't return at all, well, that's when I called you.' I nod and turn back to go inside but Alberta's call stops me.

I turn and wait for her to say whatever it was she wanted to say. I wasn't so sure I wanted to hear it but how much more mad could I get? 'I'm really sorry you had to leave school... I know you were happy to be there.'

I nod once again and turn back to head inside. Alberta didn't know the half of it, but I didn't want her apologizing for something she couldn't control. For something my mother did, it wasn't Alberta's fault; she was just doing what she thought she had to.

...

'Roses!'

Meredith races down the stairs in Alberta's living room and slams herself right into me. I almost fall back but catch myself and squeeze her little guts to me. If there was any reason to be happy for being back home, it was right here hugging me to death.

'Hey, Mer bear...' There was more I wanted to say, like how much I've missed her and that everything would be okay. But when she tightened her grip on my neck and held on, I found myself too chocked up to talk.

We didn't let go for a while, we just stood there, at the bottom of the staircase and hugged tightly. I spotted Alberta watching us from the doorway of her kitchen as I tried to blink away my tears. Everything must have hit me at that moment because it was very hard to not cry. In the comfort of my little sister's arms, I was seconds away from falling apart but it was like Meredith knew, and so she let me go.

Our eyes didn't meet after, her turning around to get her backpack from the couch. I used the time to swallow the huge lump I'm my throat and blink back my betraying tears. As soon as we came face to face though when Meredith was all ready to go, I caught the redness gloss of her eyes. Like me, Meredith was trying not to cry in front of Alberta or maybe she was trying to be strong. I didn't know and didn't care, I was just happy she wasn't alone anymore.

'Ms. Petrov says that I get to go back home tonight, that you're gonna stay with me?' I nod a yes as we hold hands while we walk to school. 'And when mom gets back home, will you go back to school?'

That was a loaded question and I wasn't quite prepared for it but Meredith didn't know any better. I try to find an answer to tell her but everything that comes to mind, I don't think she would understand. So instead, I change the subject and hope for the best.

'So, kiddo how's school?' Meredith gives me an odd expression for not answering her but she answers me anyway.

'It's okay, I only missed one day because Ms. Petrov says school is important and mommy wouldn't want me to miss it. I've missed some days before when mommy was home sick, so I don't see the big deal.'

'Oh, yeah, when was that?' I try not to let her know I'm fishing for information but I so was.

'A couple of times, mommy wasn't feeling good so I got to stay home and eat pizza.' As excited as Meredith was to share that piece of information with me, I was starting to pile up all the clues.

The bottles in the recycling can, the mess the house was left in, the sudden abandonment of her daughters and now she was sick and letting Meredith skip school? I didn't know when exactly Janine had stated drinking again but I knew it was soon after I left. And that revelation just made everything worse. When I was home Meredith wasn't allowed to skip school unless she was sick. There were times she tried to fool me into letting her stay home but Janine would catch on and Mer would leave for school irritated.

As we continue to walk to school Meredith doesn't talk about our mother anymore and I don't ask. I didn't want to taint today with the drama of our life. I wanted Meredith to get back to that worry free six year old girl she was just a few weeks ago. When our life was going the complete opposite of the way it is now.

Once we got to school, I told Meredith I would be picking her up. There were a few other things I wanted to say but I debated with myself if it was the right time to say them. Of course, with my baby sister being as perceptive as she was, I didn't have to decide anything because Meredith did it for me.

'Are you gonna go get mom, Roses? Is that why your home now?'

There was worry in her bright blue eyes and for a second I thought not to answer her and change the subject again, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't put her through any more trouble, she had had enough.

I hesitate but pull her close to me and smile kindly. 'Mer, I want you to know that I love you and I'll never let anything happen to you, ever, okay?' She nods and waits for me to continue. 'And I don't want you to worry about mom anymore, okay? That's not your problem; I'm going to take care of you now, okay?'

She nods once again and then her eyes water as she takes in my words. I pull her to me and we hug once again right outside the classroom. She holds on tight, I can hear her breaths as she tries to grasp some kind of control over her emotions and the sound disturbs me.

Once we pull back, she sniffles and we wipe her eyes from the fallen tears. 'I'll be right here after school, okay?' She nods one last time and then heads into class. I watch her meet up with some friends and hope today would be the day she gets some kind of life back.

...

'So, I was thinking we could start at the bars outside of town. I know for a fact she used to hang out there before, maybe someone knows where she is and can help us out...'

I don't look at Alberta as she pours herself a cup of coffee and speaks. I wasn't trying to be rude; I was just conflicted about whether or not I actually wanted to find my mother. Yes, I wanted answers as to why she took off for almost four days and left Meredith with the neighbor but at what cost?

What reason could she give that would excuse her for abandoning Meredith like that?

There were all those questions that needed answers and reasons to understand why she did it. And then there was the part of me that didn't care for them or her.

The part that said to hell with Janine and her shitty abandonment. Her fucked up logic and alcoholic issues! I didn't need them and neither did Meredith. Why should I give a flying fuck about where that woman took off to?

Why should I care about her if she didn't care about us?

I was back and forth on it since finding out she left. I didn't know if I could handle finding her drunk off her ass somewhere or with some other asshole who tempted her and she gave into. I was afraid id explode right there wherever it was I'd found her. Or worse, what if I found her dead? What was I supposed to tell Meredith if that we the case?

What was I going to do if I did find her, face down somewhere, not breathing and just some lifeless body?

It was my biggest fear and the thought that it could actually come true had solved my conflict easily. I knew what I had to do now but I wasn't too happy about doing it. In fact I hated the thought that I had let her get to me. I hated how my conscious wouldn't just let her go and that I had to have a heart and make sure she was okay. But I had to do it and if not for me, than I'd do it for Mer.

For Mer, that's what I told myself was the reason why I had to find her.

A clear of my throat causes Alberta's eyes to meet mine and hesitantly, I help. 'Um, there's a place by the airport she used to go to... I could check it out and see what I find.'

Alberta just nods and sips her coffee. 'I'll go with you, just in case-'

'You don't have to do this, Alberta; it's not your responsibility. I mean, don't get me wrong, Meredith and I are thankful for all you've done but this is my mess. It's my job to take care of all this; you shouldn't waste your time with it, with her.' Alberta doesn't say anything.

She just finishes her coffee and then places the cup into the sink before sitting next to me at the kitchen table. I can see the pity in her eyes from a mile away and it makes my eyes sink to the table. I hated pity and I hated when people, people I considered friends, gave it to me. I didn't want that from her or anybody. I just wanted them to understand that I don't hurt over Janine and I don't want anyone to think that I'm some lost little girl looking for my drunken mommy.

That wasn't my case and it never would be. I wouldn't let myself get like that anymore, not since I was a little girl have I ever felt that way toward Janine. I wasn't going to start that again now.

Alberta slowly reaches across the table and holds my hands in hers. Her skin was rough, like old leather from years of hard work and nurturing. She smiled sadly and the pity in her eyes grew, nearly making me want to snap at her for it but I held back. 'Rose, your mother and I used to be such great friends. We were so close at times and I always considered you girl's part of my family. I want to help, Rose. I want to be there for you and Meredith... I want to so you don't have to take all this on your own.'

I sigh frustrated. 'But you don't have to, Alberta. I'm thankful that you feel this way but my mother... she doesn't deserve this, not from you. Not even from me or anyone else for that matter.'

It's quiet while Alberta ponders over my words but when she looks at me, I know for a fact that she wasn't going to give up. I wish my mother would've had this same determination. 'Rose, sometimes people get lost and it's up to the people around them to help find their way. Your mother, she was lost but then you helped her find a way and now-'

'Now, what? She got lost again?' Alberta doesn't say anything but I don't exactly give her time to. 'She left this time, Alberta; she chose to become lost, to get lost. If I couldn't help her the first time then what's the point of even looking for her now?'

It was clear that Alberta had seen the anger I was harboring around for my mother but she didn't call me on it. She had found it and seen it shine, but she didn't judge me for it. She understood it and that alone left me a tad more relived from the boiling pot that was bound to explode.

Alberta squeezes my hands in hers and let's out a small sad smile. 'I'm not doing this for her, Rose; I'm doing it for you and Meredith. I told you, you girls, you're part of my family... and I take care of my family.'

Too bad my mother didn't. Too bad Meredith and I weren't Alberta's daughters.

So sorry if this chapter is not great, just got back from vacation with the fam and it was a little hard to get my head back into the story. Also updates will most likely be once a week, I got a lot going on at the moment but I hoped you enjoyed.