Chapter 2: Behind the Counter

When Agil was trapped in that game, his wife dropped everything to keep his cafe running. Supposedly she used to be a big-shot corporate agent here in the city—the kind who can strut down mud caked sidewalks like they're walking on red carpets, and who wear suits that cost more than my mother's mortgage. Word is she slashed a couple of zeros off of her paycheck and spent two years slaving away behind his counter just so he'd have a place to come back to when he woke up. A lot of people who hear that story call her an idiot.

I've never met her, but right now I think she's the only person in the world I can really empathize with.

We're all sitting in Agil's cafe, and with all of us gathered, the place is packed. Just about every original SAO player in the city has shown up. Then there's me. There are a few other Alfheim players scattered about the crowd here and there—Eugene is nursing a whiskey and Coke, and the woman who plays Alicia just stepped back in from a smoke—but for the most part it feels more like a family reunion than a strategy meeting, and we're distant cousins at best.

Or maybe it's just me.

Back when Kazuto was in the hospital, I visited him almost every day. I skipped kendo club at least twice a week so I could have my time with him. We'd drifted apart before he got stuck online, but after I lost him I felt more connected to him than ever. After all those kendo practices I missed, my game fell off pretty hard. I still managed to be a national quarter-finalist, but the longer Kazuto was in the hospital the more my technique slipped.

That's alright. Truth is, you only have enough room in you to care about so much. Whether it's a cushy corporate job or being a national kendo finalist, sometimes you have to step back from the dream and do your time working behind the counter.

Ever since Kazuto came back, that's where I've been—behind the counter.

What's funny is all that time he was gone, and I felt like I was getting closer, he was off falling in love with somebody else. Between us, he was the only one who was really living. I was spending my hours talking to a body.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't hate Asuna. Honestly, I really like her. But that doesn't mean I can't resent her.

Kazuto too, in a way. Because he knows I love him. Because even as we're gathered, he sits up there on his stool, resting his back against the bar, and he's got Asuna next to him, and with a straight face he seems to look all of us dead in the eyes at the same time and says, "I know, but we have to do this."

We've been arguing about what happened last night for about an hour. Somehow there are more opinions than there are people in the room. Some people think it's a joke. Others think it's somebody using Kayaba's image to scare people. Most take it at face value. Thinker asks, "Is this even possible?"

What I think is, I'll agree with whatever Kazuto thinks.

And Kazuto says, "Is there any reason it can't be?"

"There are some pretty serious hardware limitations." Thinker's name is spot on. You want to know anything about a VRMMO, he's the man to ask. He even runs a VRMMO database website for a living. "I mean, most of the official information on Sugou's research is classified, but from what's been released and from what we know ourselves, it can't work on anything but the obsolete FullDive gear models, and even then maybe only in laboratory conditions."

He's said what everybody wants to hear: that everything is just fine the way it is. It's what I want to believe. Kazuto asks, "Is there a chance that was really Kayaba?"

Thinker sits back. He's trying not to glance at his wife Yulier, who looks like she's prepared to jump on a grenade for him. "I doubt it. If he successfully uploaded his consciousness onto the net—which I still don't believe—then yeah, I guess there's a chance. But probably not."

"Only probably?"

Thinker looks at his bottle in an effort to pretend he isn't really looking at Yulier, and says, "I need another drink."

"Did Kayaba ever lie? He didn't always tell the whole truth, but did he ever outright lie to us?"

Raising his empty bottle, Thinker calls out, "Agil, Scotch. Three fingers. Neat."

"Did he?" Kazuto asks, and he's addressing everybody.

Nobody answers, but nobody has to. Kazuto doesn't talk about what happened to him in the game often—at least not with me—but when he does, it's scary. Not because he could have died. He didn't, and the past is done with. He scares me because the few times I've heard him talk about Kayaba, he can't hide the faint twinge in his voice that sounds like respect.

Kazuto slides off of his stool and moves closer to the gathered crowd. Agil can quiet an audience because he's big. Kazuto doesn't need size. He has more status than everybody else in the room combined. "He didn't. If that really was Kayaba—" he turns towards Thinker "—who I know for a fact succeeded, then what he said was credible."

And I want him to be wrong so bad that I open my mouth for the first time of the night and say, "If that really was Kayaba."

Only when I say it, it comes out ugly. It sounds harsh, and passive-aggressive, and it stops Kazuto in place. The way he looks right now, I've only seen it once before—the night I found out he was Kirito.

It's only for a moment, but everybody notices. Kazuto looks more surprised than anyone. He was probably counting on me to back him up. Figured I'd be on his side. The worst part about it all is, I am. "I believe it," he says, "but it doesn't matter whether it was really him or not. The point is that it's possible. If there's even a small chance that this is real, we have to do it."

A few people nod. Most just keep watching. Kazuto gets back up on his stool. "Thinker, has there been any discussion about this on your forums?"

Thinker doesn't answer, so Yulier says, "More than a few threads, yeah." She speaks cautiously, like her words are soldiers walking through a minefield, and swallows hard. Then she swallows a swig of Scotch that she steals from her husband's glass. "Mostly rumors. People making up stories. But some of the basics corroborate."

"Like?"

Her fingers pound against the bar like Salamander battle drums. "The area is open to everybody. People who have been up there say getting hit feels like a static shock. Nothing serious, and not really pain, but uncomfortable enough that you notice it. Anybody who's died can't get back in. Stuff like that."

Asuna leans forward. "Stuff like that? Meaning there's more?"

"That whole thing about still being able to log out, that was true. But only mostly true."

"What do you mean?"

The way Yulier and Thinker are going through that drink, they'll dry the bar if we stay for another hour. "You can log out, but only in designated safe zones. That's the main city on each floor. Once you step outside that, you have to make it back before you can leave. Any area outside of the safe zone restricts the use of warp stones."

What sounds like an earthquake is everybody groaning. "So we have to travel on foot."

"Not necessarily. Sword Art Online's engine served as the base for Alfheim. When this new version of Aincrad was programmed, a lot of the mechanics were merged. We keep our wings. Magic, too. We had those last night, and it doesn't look like they've been removed for the rest of the castle."

Asuna looks like she's about to say something, but Kazuto jumps in and asks, "Your source for all of this—is it reliable?"

Yulier laughs the kind of laugh you let out when something isn't funny. "It's a public gaming forum, Kirito. I don't believe any of it."

Before he can respond, Asuna switches in. Even in the real world, their teamwork is top notch. "Why would he keep the merged mechanics like that? That's something programmers added after the World Seed was released. He said the remaining floors would play out similarly to what they would have originally, and his original vision was supposed to be completed without flight or magic."

"Why would he trap 10,000 people in a video game?" Yulier asks. "Why would he kill the people who died in game? He's insane. It's not supposed to make sense."

"If it's really him," Thinker repeats, and then returns to his drink.

And Yulier is wrong, because it makes perfect sense. I don't understand how they can't see it. "It's The World Tree," I say.

"What?"

"The Grand Quest in Alfheim." I'd spent months working towards completing that quest. When I started playing VRMMOs, it was for Kazuto. After playing for a few months, I wanted to win. "The way Kayaba was talking, it sounds like only one person can win his prize. A lot of people play Alfheim just so they can fly, but when you look at everything the game has deep player versus player mechanics. That's really the point of the game—you have to fight the other races to climb The World Tree, and only one race can win. Whatever it is Kayaba has planned for the top of the castle, he wants us to kill each other for it."

Kazuto jumps off of his stool so fast I almost believe he has wings. "No," he says, and his face looks so hard that I can imagine it breaking somebody's bones just by looking at it. "We're not playing like that. I don't know why Kayaba is doing this, but if people will get hurt, we're not fighting them."

"I'm not saying we should, I'm just saying—"

"We know this game better than anybody," he continues. "We'll just have to race everybody else to the top. We've got plenty of people here, and even more who live outside of the city. We can schedule it out so that we've always got people from our group working towards clearing."

He really is inspiring. The way he stands up there and lays out his plans, I think he's more like our grandfather than he'd ever admit. He can order an entire room of people to jump into a dungeon without a pain dampener, and have them smiling for it.

He can also stab you in the heart without ever realizing it. I say, "Ok."

He's pacing in front of the crowd, and I wonder if the rest of the people in the room see Kazuto or Kirito. Then I wonder if there's a difference. "Thinker, start looking into that hardware issue. Everybody else, let's meet up in the Floor 77 safe zone at eleven tonight. There's nothing we can figure out about what's going on or why Kayaba—"

"If it is Kayaba," Thinker says.

"—is doing this until we can see it for ourselves. Get the message to everybody who couldn't make it here. Unless there's anything else that needs discussed right now, we'll meet back up tonight."

And of course there's more. As soon as Kazuto stops talking everybody else starts. People want to know everything from what Thinker's forums say to why Kayaba would grant somebody the power to alter souls to what the hardware specifications are for the FullDive gear. All I needed to know was when we were going to start, so I tune it all out.

While everybody else is talking about, I don't know what, I'm looking through the menu on my table. It's clear people come to Agil's cafe for the drinks instead of the food. No wonder the place is always empty before sunset.

I read through that menu a few times, but then I think back to how Kazuto's face looked when I called him out. The first time I saw it, he'd hurt me. Betrayed me. This time, I was the one holding the knife in his back.

He was counting on my support. We'd talked about it last night after logging out. And I still managed to cut him at the knees.

I'm sure Asuna wouldn't have questioned whether it was Kayaba or not. I don't think she cares. If she's like me, she'll go with Kazuto no matter what. So what's different about us that I can't win against? We both love the same man. We're both good people. Kind. Dedicated. We're friends.

If we're not fighting, then why am I losing?

I sit there, pretending to look at the menu but really thinking about Kazuto, until Agil steps over to my table and asks, "What's going on, Leafa?"

When I look up, the cafe is almost empty. How long had I been sitting there? The meeting is over, and only a few people stuck around. Klein and his buddies ordered themselves a round of shots, and he's standing over the table like a lord while he makes a toast. Eugene bought Alicia another drink, and they're sitting in a corner booth together talking about whatever it is they're talking about. Kazuto and Asuna are gone. "It's Suguha."

"Sorry," Agil says. "I get used to everybody's character names. Hard not to use them out here."

I imagine that if you knew him as Kirito for two years, then as far as you were concerned that really would be his real name. That was another difference between me and the veterans. To me, he's always been Kazuto. "Yeah."

"Are you doing alright?"

I don't want to talk about it, so I look down at the menu. "I don't understand veggie burgers. What's the point of a burger without the meat?"

Agil says, "I haven't known you that long, but you don't strike me as the quiet type. Your brother told us all about you, too. Is everything alright?"

Part of me doesn't want him meddling. Kazuto told me all about Agil, too. About how he spent a fortune in game to help other players level through. It's in his nature to be concerned, but I don't want it. The other part of me is thinking about how he called Kazuto my brother. "I mean, I guess if you were allergic to meat or something, then sure. But ordering a veggie burger by choice? Can you be allergic to meat?"

"Listen, I—"

"A burger sounds great about now. With everything on it."

"Look, Leafa, all—"

"Suguha."

I correct him so he knows I'm listening. So maybe he'll get the hint and let me be for a few more minutes. But he's so driven to help that he'll try it even when it's not wanted. "I don't want to bother you. If you don't want to talk, just tell me. You weren't at your best last night, and you haven't been yourself today. I wanted to make sure you were alright."

I can't bring myself to ignore him anymore, so I push the menu aside. What I don't want to admit is that I haven't been myself. Not since Asuna woke up. "I'm sorry, Agil, I just—"

"Andrew."

I ask, "What?"

"Andrew Gilbert Mills," he says. "For as long as you insist on being called Suguha, at least."

Andrew Gilbert. Agil. Like how Kirito sounds like Kazuto, it seems Asuna wasn't the only person whose character was inspired by their real name. "Can I ask you something, Andrew?"

He shrugs. "Go ahead."

"Do you think we can do it?"

He's enormous, but his smile makes him look like the friendliest man on Earth. "Of course," he says. "We got through the game once. We know what we need to do. We're a strong team. We'll make it to the top."

I'm not worried about that. Kazuto is a hero. He beat Sword Art Online. He won the impossible quest in Alfheim and then killed the administrator. If it were just our group, he'd get us to the top, no problem.

Andrew is still smiling, but I'm looking past him. There, in the back of the bar, is the counter his wife spent two years working behind to keep his dream alive. How much had she sacrificed to keep this place running? "I mean the way he wants it done. Without killing any of the other players."

Andrew doesn't answer, but his silence tells me exactly what he thinks. The smile is gone. He sighs, and looks at me square in the face and says, "Let me go get you that burger."