1. Calling The Doctor "Doctor Who"
2. *When watching the show with a fan, constantly ask 'What's that?' or 'What's he doing?'...etc. Do it at least at the start of each scene.
3.*Tell them what a horrible Doctor David Tennant was and that the show should have died with Christopher, or better yet with Sylvester because America screwed it up in the movie.
4.*Bring up how much the Rose character is a Mary Sue (though there are a lot who agree with this) and that she is too 'blond' to be the Doctor's girlfriend. If the particular whovian you are annoying doesn't like Rose, get a list of all the Doctor Who companions and try it with all the girls. You'll get it eventually.
there's a kiss (which is surprisingly often), bury your face in a pillow or any other handy object and say 'EWW!' or 'Get off!' or something like that. Trust me, it works every time.
that British sci-fi sucks and that American sci-fi is way better.
7. Constantly refer to Jack Harkness as the Doctor's boy toy. When they get mad, suggest an alternative, such as life partner. Keep going with things like Special Friend, or just forget subtlety and go with
something like boyfriend. Continue until either you run out of names or they hit you.
up with theories as to how the Time Lords got almost wiped out, and never let the whovian explain the real reason. For example, maybe it was a mass suicide because they all realized how stupid they looked. (Seriously. If you've never seen how a Time Lord dresses, you have to Google image it right now, because it's hilarious.)
they mention Matt Smith, David Tennant, or any other fangirl favorite, fake barf, mouth UGLY, do anything you can to convey that you think he's hideous. Come up with an unflattering nickname for every Doctor.
10. Ask them to show you an episode where the Doctor regenerates (not one of the earlier ones, though, 'cause they just kinda glow green. It's not that explosive at all). When he does regenerate, scream 'YES!' when they look at you funny or ask why, say 'His head exploded!' and give them a creepy grin. When you see the new Doctor, ask who he is, and when they explain, act all disappointed and say, 'Dammit, I thought he was dead.'
11. Write a horrible fanfiction (Spell things wrong, come up with ridiculous pairings for characters, ect.) and then post it on the web for everybody to see.
bother them with questions like, "Why does he wear bow ties?" or "shouldn't he be dead? I mean, he's 907 years old" When they try to explain, stare at them blankly like you don't understand.
them you've got something better than a sonic screwdriver… you have a sonic paperclip…
out TARDIS has the word tard in it