A/N: The next day after I posted the first chapter was like the most fantastic dream, thanks to all the readers who had spent time reading and reviewing. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart! It truly means a lot; it's been a long time since I last wrote something.

Thank you 00MeLiSaA00, Life is like a potato (interesting pen name), vnienhuis, starfire Wylde, ahuna67, camitake, HPNU92, kylai, ladopa, YozoraCole, Method in Madness, Princess101855, SaintFirestar666, Aladin03, suha94 and AlternativeSunxxx34 for favoring and following my story! You guys rock!

Method in Madness: Thanks for your compliment.

camitake: Your excitement really pushes me! Your review means a lot!

ahuna67: I'll try my best not to disappoint you. Thanks for your review.

starfire Wylde: Good news: You don't have to wait for long.

vnienhuis: I've been looking for a plot like this for so long. When I couldn't find one, I decide to start one. Thanks for your time.

I also appreciate everyone who read but didn't review.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek (obviously!)

Chapter 2

Uhura opened the book. Pike and Spock were paying full attention while the others were quite distracted. Jim looked like he was praying to god to have the book burst into flame. The idea of setting the book on fire himself did cross his mind, but he wasn't sure if it was what he predicted it was.

Preface

"Are you afraid of death?" was my favorite question.

"So…" – Sulu, Chekov, Bones and Scotty said together at the same time ended up with the staring contest.

"Quite an intro, isn't it?" – Bones frowned.

"Our line of work never promises a safe return you know." – Sulu stated, trying to sound brave.

Jim buried his fingernails deep into the cushion on his lap. He didn't like where it was going. If necessary, he would execute his scheme.

"There must be death for life to begin, it's only logical."

"No" is a hideous lie if that's what comes out of your lips.

"Who's the writer of this book? I feel criticized." – Sulu chuckled nervously.

"Whoever he or she is, that person must be obsessed with death." – Uhura said thoughtfully.

"Or just someone who faces death too many times." – Jim mumbled quietly to himself.

Spock's sharp hearing caught the statement and he narrowed his eyes.

Well, I was lucky because I didn't even have a chance to answer that question.

"Huh?"

I'd never existed to begin with, so no death for me. Yay!

"Oookaaay, so who's this insane I are we reading about?" – Scotty's eyes twitched, but he looked quite intrigued comparing to the first line of the book.

Jim's lips pressed into a thin line. He knew for sure who I was in the book and he was sooo not looking forward to the next part.

To the world, I was the killer of their hero. For me to live, he must die.

Pike looked at Jim worriedly while the others slowly came to conclusion about the person they were reading about.

"So, cool, it's about me. Don't I get to say whether or not should you people get inside my mind?" – Jim smirked, but his uneasiness was visible for Bones to recognize.

"What, too many embarrassed memories?" – Uhura smirked but then shame caught up with her when the last line she'd just read came into view again. For me to live, he must die.

"Are you referring to your daddy, Keptain?" – Chekov timidly asked. Jim gave him a short nod, scanning the room for anything that could help him get rid of the book.

Committing a crime, right at the moment of birth. It was a shocking record for a minute old newborn.

"Jim/Son, it's not your fault." – Bones and Pike cut Uhura off, looking at Jim who was staring at the space in front of him, pretending that he wasn't listening.

"Can I leave the room now? Or at least dispose of that cursed… thing" – Jim stood up, tried to yank the book out of Uhura's hand. Spock looked like he wanted to interfere, but he trusted his girlfriend's ability to look after herself.

"Jim, you can trust…"

"Trust is priceless." – Jim hissed through his teeth, the tension in the room rose in five seconds.

"If you don't deal with this now you might not fit for duty."

"I made peace with it, long ago, and now you're starting war. That is not my fault." – Jim growled.

"Maybe you should read, skip the parts that you don't want us to know." – Uhura offered guiltily, her eyes were filled with sympathy. Jim snatched the book from Uhura but Bones saw the chance that the kid would tear the book right there so the doctor jabbed Jim with a hypospray.

"He would be most upset with you when he woke up." – Spock said, catching Jim and placing him on the sofa.

"I'll take my chances. I've been his friend for years now and never had I received some proper answers about his childhood that leads to some of his suicidal habits."

"Great, so we are partners-in-crime, yes?" – Sulu cheered. Chekov was terrified at the knocking-Kirk-out incident.

"We'll settle down so I continue, yes?" – Uhura shot a glance at Jim again, feeling sorry for the guy but her curiosity got the better of her.

"I was lucky to succeed in persuading Jim to join Starfleet. There's hope I can convince him to feel okay about this, or at least accept it. The book's supposed to create a bond, not breaking you apart." – Pike reassured the group, but it sounded like he was talking to himself.

You will have more chances to know more about my impressive crime-records later and trust me on this one, you won't be disappointed.

Bones ruffled Jim's hair warily. Pike refused to express any emotions but his index finger was unconsciously tabbing nervous on the wooden desk.

But whatever happens on the pages of this book happened and had come to an end. If you're already bored, I'll tell you three things you only and ever need to know about me.

"Okay, here we go." – Bones straightened his back.

First, I was a ghost of dead man.

Bones took in a deep breath to stop himself from thinking about the people who had put that thought into Jim's head but his hand, the one that wasn't stroking his best friend hair, was shaking. He knew who and those happened to be Jim's only family left out there. It was decided that things wouldn't turn out pretty if Bones crossed path with those people someday.

Pike looked like he was a decade older at the first thing that Jim thought himself to be. He didn't know it was this bad.

"Why am I feeling angrier at myself after each line?" – Uhura asked out loud, a frown formed on her elegant face.

"No-one knows; he hides it well." – Bones muttered.

"It is illogical that the captain's behaviors and manners don't match with his inner thoughts. I am deeply confused at the conflicts between his mind and his actions." – Spock said with his usual monotone voice.

Second, no matter how much you hated me, you could never hate me more than I hated myself.

Uhura quickly read before anyone interrupted her.

And third, I didn't believe in no-win scenarios.

"I like ze tird one bet." – Chekov whispered, glancing at Jim, various emotions in his innocent blue eyes.

"Well, it sounds like the Kirk we know." – Uhura agreed with the wunderkind while working on digesting the lines.

"Damn it Jim! Am I your best friend or what?" – Bones was certainly not pleased; an ugly frown swallowed his face, making him look just as old as Pike.

"Um, he can't answer that you know." – Sulu pointed out awkwardly, avoided to look at Kirk and received the "glare of death" – as Jim always called it – from Dr. McCoy.

"We'll fix this." – Pike said with his eyes close.

"Can we?" – Scotty wondered. He already saw Kirk's negative emotions on Delta Vega. Despite Spock Prime's reassurance, Jim was impatient, royally pissed off at reality and absolutely desperate.

"By making illogical decisions, James Kirk had done the impossible and accomplished his duty as Acting Captain admirably. I believe that despite the fact that our young Captain has made it clear that we shouldn't get inside his mind, we need to finish this book in order to have a good knowledge of our leader." – Spock and his speech again.

"You pointed ear hobgoblin, why do you care? …" – If glares could kill, everyone in the room would have been dead by now since Bones was going on a "glaring-spree". Pike cut him off, cooling the tension down helplessly.

"Dr. McCoy, I understand that you don't want Jim to suffer any more pain than he's already had, which is exactly why we have to try to use what we have."

"Come on Leonard, don't you want to know why Jim loves bar fights so badly? Because I'm asking myself why on Earth Jim Kirk act like a jerk all the time, which we come to realize after this short preface that it seems not true at all." – Uhura added convincingly, reading the preface again and again.

"Okay, fine! You win, I admit that I need some help in looking after this idiotic friend of mine!" – Bones surrendered. – "I'm next by the way. Anyone against that?"

Uhura handed Dr. McCoy the book, giving him an encouraging nod. Though the doctor wanted to know what was awaiting them, he was scared of what they were about to find out. Jim's 3 years at the Academy weren't easy, at all; every trouble within the radius of 5 miles always somehow managed to bump into the reckless kid.

Taking a deep breath, the doctor turned to the next page.

Year 2237, age 4: I have the first and most important lesson of my life

Bones paused, swallowed some air into his throat to push down the lump that was formed in there.

"What's the matter, Dr. McCoy?" – Sulu raised his eyebrow.

I have the first and most important of my life: Never rely on anyone.

A/N: Okay, I hope it was worth your expectations. I have an important test tomorrow (I dare to say it's as important as Jimmy's first lesson). As always and like every writer out there, I love reviews. If anyone has any ideas, feel free to PM me. Once again, thank you for your time!