OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: C'mon. You and I BOTH know Takahashi owns the Ranma characters. Who's fooling anybody? Gregg created the Bet, TSR owns Lloth. Fujimi Publishing owns Hiroe Ogawa. (and a big no-prize to anyone who knows what series she's from.) I don't own nothin'.
WHAT'S HAPPENED SO FAR: Lloth, Demon-Queen of Spiders and Goddess of the Drow has entered into a side-bet with Toltiir, everyone's favorite Elder god of Mischief. The goal: To outdo Titania, Queen of the Elves. The changes made: Something Awful happened to Ukyou Kuonjii shortly after Ranma and Akane's aborted wedding, with the end result being that Akane was catapulted forwards in time to the Seventh Age of Man, where magic and monsters have resurfaced. Ranma, believing her dead, eventually married Ukyou, settled down and lived happily ever after.
Akane spent many, many years in the distant future, gaining incredible skill and making powerful friends and foes before eventually uncovering the means to travel backwards in time to be reunited with her One True Love. Unfortunately, she arrived too soon, and is now inhabiting the body of her sixteen year-old self on the day Ranma is introduced to the Tendous for the first time.
Her memories of her past blurry at best, she miscalculated the effect her skill would have on the youthful Ranma and he instead chose Kasumi to be his iinazuke, terrified by Akane's viciousness.
Akane, never one to give up easily, has resolved to prove her desirability to the object of her now-unrequited love.
Whew! Now that everyone's up to speed, on with the show! *********************
'Sides, Ranma added with a shudder, she's really creepy!
As he finished his thought and made to roll over, he heard the door slide slowly open. He glanced over, and his jaw dropped.
There, standing silhouetted in the doorway, naked, was Akane! Her hair was no longer bound back by her white ribbon; instead, it hung loose over her shoulders, providing tantalizing glimpses of her petite, shapely chest. His eyes, unbidden drifted lower, only to shoot up to her eyes as soon as they'd ascertained that Akane was not, in fact, wearing panties.She raised a finger to her lips and whispered "Shhhh!"
With a choked gasp, Ranma complied, swallowing hard. He didn't know what terrified him more; the fact that a naked g-g-girl was presenting herself in front of him, or that the girl in question was Akane Tendou! His brain, running on full code red panic alert, sent signals to the rest of his body. "Flee, you fool, flee!" it screamed, while Lil' Ranma, presented with the undeniable fact of a naked girl present in his general vicinity, shot to attention, much to the dismay of his nominal master.
Akane smiled as she saw his body's undeniable reaction. It was working! Unlike her younger self, with the perspective of age behind her she knew she was in excellent shape, tautly muscled, yet soft enough to retain sumptuous femininity. Moving with catlike stealth, she slid the door silently closed and sprang nimbly across the room to Genma's tatami, tapping a point on his exposed back. The panda's snores instantly became deeper and more sonorous.
"There," Akane breathed huskily as she looked across the darkened room at Ranma. "He won't be waking up for a good eight hours... More than enough time." She leered meaningfully at the quailing boy. Endorphins rocketed through his bloodstream, causing his leg to twitch and sharpening his senses. He was acutely aware of the smooth planes of her well-toned body, the scent of her shampoo, the sound of his own ragged breathing.
"W-what are you doin'? Ranma whispered weakly. "You crazy or somethin'?! Go away!"
"But why..?" Akane purred, slinking over to Ranma's side. "I only want to make you happy..." She breathed that last into his ear, causing his pigtail to straighten and a drop of blood to fall from his nose.
"I-if you wanna make me happy, get out!" He protested, trying not to think about what those wonderfully soft and warm objects pressing against his chest were, yet still unable to escape the memory of the agony she'd given him this afternoon. "I don't know what k- kinda game you're playin' but it ain't funny!"
"No, but it could be fun, if you'd let me..." Her hand crept under the covers, gliding down his chest to slide beneath the elastic waistband of his boxers. That was too much for Ranma's overstimulated, confused nerves to take. With a strangled sound, he pushed her away and crabcrawled back into the corner of the room.
"Get away! Stay back, you crazy bitch! HE-EELLLPP!"
"Damn it!" Akane swore as she heard the sound of running feet coming down the hall. She KNEW she should have tagged her family's Shiatsu sleepy-spots! She turned to stare Ranma in the eye, longing warring with her knowledge of her family's probable reaction to discovering their "baby sister" in flagrante delicto. "Don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow night, my love..." With a final kiss blown over her shoulder, she slid the window open and leapt nimbly out, her skin pale white in the moonlight.
The door to Ranma's room was thrown open, and Soun and Kasumi stood there, Soun with a bokken in hand and Kasumi with a cast iron skillet, worried expressions on their faces. "What is it, son? What's wrong?" Soun glanced around the room, seeing only a sleeping panda and Ranma huddled in the corner, looking as pale as his sheet. "We heard you cry out..."
"Err..." Think fast, Saotome. You tell the truth, and they'll more'n likely blame YOU... "I er, had a nightmare, folks. Gomen. I didn't mean to wake you..." Soun looked puzzled, then a little dismayed. Was THIS the heir to the Anything-Goes School? A little boy who jumps at shadows?
"That's... er, quite all right, son. Very well then, goodnight..."
"Goodnight, sir." Soun left, grumbling about overactive imaginations. Kasumi stayed a moment longer, looking at Ranma questioningly. Had Akane's cruel attack this afternoon frightened him that deeply? The poor boy... A surge of protective instinct washed over her.
"Ranma-kun?"
"Uh, yeah, Kasumi?"
"If you need anything, anything at all, you just let me know, all right?"
"Err, yeah, thanks." Ranma's body, still reeling from the Attack of the Naked Tomboy, couldn't help but react. He noticed, despite himself, that Kasumi's nightgown was backlit by the hallway lights, and he could easily make out some attractive curves... He turned his head away, blushing, thankful fro the sheet piled loosely in his lap. "Well, uh, G'night, Kasumi..."
"Pleasant dreams, Ranma-kun." She gave him a soft reassuring smile and closed the door. Ranma dragged himself back over to his tatami and drew the covers up over his head.
"Oh, man... " Just what he needed. Was Kasumi coming on to him? He had absolutely NO practical experience with the opposite sex, unless you counted one kiss from Shampoo. Well, he had a fairly good idea what exactly they wanted, but... He sighed, shifting his body around in a vain attempt to get comfortable. And what kind of game was Akane playing? Was she torturing him? Trying to give herself another excuse to use that... "Technique" of hers? He shivered a little, closing his eyes. Just try and sleep Saotome. Don't wanna wake the Tendous up again...
He shuddered briefly as he remembered Akane's last words to him.
"Tomorrow night?" he squeaked. "Oh, no..."
***************************************
The following morning dawned bright and clear, and Ranma awoke to the delicious smell of miso soup wafting up from the kitchen. He groaned, stretched and looked around, blinking to clear the sleep from his eyes. He glanced over at the LED display on the clock radio, shrugged, froze, and looked again. Eight a.m.?! What the... The old man never let him sleep so late! "A true Martial Artist doesn't lollygag around in bed! A true Martial Artist is up at the crack of dawn to hone his skills!!" He glanced over, and sure enough, the old panda was still snoring merrily away.
"Then it wasn't a dream..." he whispered. There really was some kind of sleep-touch, and Akane HAD been in his room last night. The little conscienceless hentai that lurks in the back of every teenage boy's mind chimed in: And she wuz nekkid! Nekkid I tells ya! Hotcha!
"Yeah, right. Like I want anything to do with a psycho tomboy like that!" The little hentai pulled a face and went back to sulking in the corner.
Ranma dressed in his black drawstring pants and pulled on his red chinese top. With a hop, he sprung out the door and descended the stairs to the dining area, where his iinazuke- (er, well, let's just keep thinking of her as Kasumi for now, shall we? his brain suggested. Safer that way.) Where _Kasumi_ was serving breakfast.
He barely managed an "Ohaiyo" before he began stuffing his face. No telling when the old man's gonna wake up- better eat up while I can. He was halfway through his fifth helping of eggs when he noticed the silence around him. Hesitantly, he looked up.
Soun, Nabiki and Kasumi sat there with varying degrees of shocked awe on their faces.
"What? Somethin' wrong?" Ranma asked. Or rather, that's what he meant to ask. What came out was a small spray of egg and the words "Mmmrphl? Mumphmmm hfflm?"
"That's, er..." Soun breathed, "That's quite a healthy appetite you've got there, son."
Kasumi and Nabiki nodded, awestruck.
"Mmorfl-" Ranma swallowed, blushing. "Sorry 'bout that."
"Well, never mind." Kasumi said cheerily. "You just help yourself." Internally, she made a note; triple the portions from now on. Nabiki rapidly recalculated the food budget, and came up with a balance in the red. The boy'd eat them out of house and home within two months unless they somehow increased their income. Maybe it was time to talk to Daddy about taking on students again...
Ranma continued to stuff his face with his hosts' blessings, oblivious to anything but the fact that here was good food, and he didn't have to fight Pop for his share.
******************************************
Akane woke with a start, alarmed to find herself in unfamiliar surroundings. Where was she now?! Hob's Gate Keep? Baron's cave? No, wait, since when does Baron's cave have Hello Kitty merchandise all over the walls?
The events of the past twenty-four subjective hours came rushing back in a wash of memories. Blessed kami, she was home! She leapt out of bed with an energy she hadn't felt in decades. Restraining herself from dancing an impromptu jig, she walked over to her vanity mirror and inspected herself. She was so... young! And her hair was really, really long! Well, that's going to change, and right quickly. That'll never fit under a helmet...
She reached for the pair of scissors and was about to start chopping wildly, when the realization fully set in. She was HOME!!!! She didn't NEED to worry about how her armour would fit! No Goblin slavers or Orcish mercenaries were going to jump out of the cupboards and make attempts on her life! She was home, and reunited with her Ranma!
That put an immediate pall over her good mood. No, she WASN'T with Ranma. Ranma, for some reason she couldn't fathom, was with Kasumi, of all people. That was something else that was going to change quickly. She smiled crookedly at herself in the mirror, the sly expression somehow out of place on her deceptively innocent features. He hadn't given in to her last night, but then again, they'd been interrupted. She'd try again tonight, and THIS time, she'd make sure that didn't happen.
Another point came to mind. It's been so very long since those (these) days... I mustn't give away too much, she thought, or else Nabiki, if no one else, will start to suspect that all is not normal with her "kid" sister. If only her memories were clearer... Didn't I use to keep a diary? Yes, that's right, I did! Where did I hide it...
After a little searching, she found the slim leatherbound volume underneath three shoeboxes in the closet. A brief perusal of the contents brought a smile to her face. "Hard to believe I was ever this childish..." Yesterday's entry caught her eye. Her eyes widened, and she began to giggle.
The Horde o' Hentai! She hadn't thought about those dimwits in ages! Wait- H.O.H. meant school. School meant classes. Classes meant studying. "Oh no! Did I have homework due?! No, wait, I was always a good little schoolgirl, I did my homework BEFORE my workout... At least, I HOPE I did..." With the revelation of the existence of homework, another realization hit.
"Oh, drakeshit! There's no WAY I can fake my way through school for the next two years! I'm doomed!" She cursed her lack of foresight in formulating her wish. She should have made sure to specify that she would not only still know what she knew now, but that she'd know what she knew THEN, too. Or was that the other way around? Time travel made her head hurt, it was far too esoteric for her. "Give me an opponent I can wrap my hands around and choke, anyday..."
Muttering imprecations in dwarven, she dressed herself in one of her school uniforms, cursing the impracticality of the outfit. Still, it was a relief to put on clothing that wasn't rough-spun cotton or linen for a change. Of all the things other than Ranma she'd missed in the Seventh Age, well-fitted clothes had been in the top ten...
************************************
Genma had finally risen and had made his way downstairs, only to find that his worthless ingrate of a son had eaten all the breakfast. Kasumi had apologized, and produced a plateful of bamboo shoots out of thin air, but he'd been looking forward to a home-cooked meal...
After returning to human form, he happened to mention school to his son.
"School?! Aw, man!"
"Well, we ARE going to be staying for a while..."
Nabiki poked her head around the corner, already dressed in her uniform.
"Yeah, Daddy's made all the arrangements! (With my help, of course, she added silently) You'll be going to the same school as me and Akane! You'd better get a move on if you don't want to be late on your first day..."
"First day?! But... I don't have any school supplies!"
Genma produced a bookbag out of nowhere.
"Now you do. Remember, m'boy, a strong mind in a strong body is what the Anything Goes School is all about!"
"Like you're one to talk old man!"
"Ranma..." Nabiki said chidingly. "No uneducated bum's gonna marry MY sister. Get a move on, or you'll end up having to walk to school with Akane!"
"Yipes!" Ranma scooped up the bookbag and dashed to the door; Nabiki stopped him with a gesture.
"Aren't you forgetting something?"
"Huh? What?"
"Say good-bye to your iinazuke, dummy."
"Oh..." Ranma's face turned redder than his shirt. "Right..." He walked hesitantly over to the kitchen, poking his head inside. "Uh, Kasumi..? I'm uh... I guess I'm goin' to school, now, so... Bye?" Despite himself, he couldn't help remembering what she'd looked like last night, backlit in her thin shift... He sniffled, sensing an impending nosebleed.
Kasumi turned to face him and smiled pleasantly.
"Have a good day, Ranma-kun! Here, I made you lunch..."
"Oh... Hey, great!" He brightened, one appetite overwhelming another. "Thanks a lot!" Wow. Maybe there IS a plus side to this iinazuke thing. Kasumi sure is a great cook...
******************************
"Whaddya mean, he left with Nabiki?!" Akane yelled.
"My little girl's shouting at me!! Waaahhhh!!!!" Soun collapsed into a puddle of goo before Akane's annoyed glare.
"Knock it off, Dad. You're acting like an imbecile."
"Ohhh, my baby girl thinks her father is an imbecile!! Waaahhhhh!!!!"
"Oh, hel's bells. Well, I've got to go catch up. At least TRY to act like a MAN, Dad."
"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
****************************
Ranma strolled along the canal fence, easily keeping pace with Nabiki and her friend, a pretty, short-haired girl with light blue hair who'd been introduced to him as Hiroe Ogawa. Right now she was fielding questions about adjusting the odds on some fight that took place every morning, and HE was fielding curious glances.
"Um, excuse me, Saotome-san?" Hiroe asked shyly.
"Hmm? Oh, you mean ME? Geez. Just call me Ranma, okay? People say Saotome-san and I look around for my Pop."
"Okay..." She smiled, pleased. "But only if you call me Hiroe..."
"Sure, I guess..." He hopped down to walk alongside her. So, what did you want to ask, Hiroe?"
She tore her eyes away from the lines of his legs and looked up. "Oh, well, I just wanted to know... Well, uh... are you Nabiki's boyfriend?"
Ranma turned bright red.
"Uh, Nabiki? A little help here?" Nabiki looked over at the pair and smirked. Who to charge? Saotome didn't have five yen to his name, so...
"Well, Hiroe-chan, I can let you in on the full story for only 500 yen. That's half what I'm charging the rest of the class. You won't find a better deal..."
Hiroe sighed and reached into her bag. Being friends with Nabiki Tendou was an expensive proposition. She produced the money and handed it over grudgingly.
"Thank YOU... Now, here's the scoop. Saotome there is engaged to marry my sister Kasumi."
"What?"
Ranma turned several fetching shades of red, from a pleasant rose to a nice black cherry. All this attention was really... Unnerving, actually. He looked apologetically at Hiroe and shrugged.
"S'not really our idea... Our Pops' arranged the whole thing... Uh, but... I don't really KNOW anybody here in town- Do you, uh... wanna be friends?"
"Sure, Ranma... That'd be nice..." Hiroe said shyly.
"Cool... Hey, Nabiki! What's the big idea of charging my friend Hiroe here for info on MY personal life?"
"Please, Saotome. If you weren't too craven to tell her yourself... Besides, the way you and your glutton of a father eat, we're gonna need the extra cash."
"Oh." Ranma thought about that for a minute. He hadn't really considered what kind of effect his visit was having on the Tendous. "Well, maybe I can get a part-time job or somethin'. Y'know, to help out a bit?"
Nabiki's eyes widened slightly. She hadn't thought... Well, well... The boy has some sense of responsibility after all...
"Hmm, thanks for offering but... Furinkan has some pretty strict rules about students having after-school jobs. I don't think the administration'd go for it. You could maybe get work on the weekends, though. Unless you plan on taking a juku on Saturdays with me and Akane..." Ranma made a face. "Didn't think so. No offense, Saotome, but you just don't strike me as the scholarly type."
"Well, maybe if school wasn't so damn boring, I'd be a little more interested. I'd rather be workin' or trainin', if you ask me..."
"I didn't. If you're going to marry into the Tendou clan, you've got to get an education."
"So who said I wanted to-?!" He sighed. "Look, Nabiki, I'm only goin' along with this until I can figger a way out, okay? Kasumi's nice an' all, but I ain't ready to get married."
Unseen by her companions, Hiroe's eyes brightened momentarily, a smile crossing her lips.
"Saotome, I'm hurt! You don't like my family?" Nabiki said sarcastically.
"It ain't like that!! You'n Kasumi are all right, an' your Pop' an okay guy, but... Look, can we just drop it? You were sayin' somethin' about workin' weekends?"
Nabiki nodded, but she wasn't about to let the matter go. "Until I can talk some sense into Daddy, you and Kasumi are stuck with one another... Unless you'd like to switch the engagement to Akane?"
Ranma blanched, then blushed fiercely. Nabiki noted the latter reaction with interest and a little bit of surprise. Did I read him wrong? He couldn't be interested in Akane, not after what happened yesterday... Impossible. His next words confirmed that thought.
"No way! Like I'd wanna go NEAR a psycho tomboy like her!!! Ranma realized with a start that he'd been baited. An idea occurred to him. "I'd much rather switch the engagement to YOU, Nabiki..." He said, in overly-suave tones.
Nabiki's famous reserve cracked for a second, her eyes going wide. A twinkle lit Ranma's eye as he leaned in close, and whispered: "Gotcha!"
Hiroe laughed aloud as she saw Nabiki's face redden.
"Saotome, you jerk! Don't frighten me like that!" Nabiki snarled. "And you!" She pointed at Hiroe. "Zip it!"
Ranma and Hiroe restrained their giggles... barely. Nabiki calmed down and, regaining her composure, continued in an icy tone.
"As for your potential employment, some of faculty owe me favours, I'll see what I can do about getting an exception for you based on... Oh, let's say... family poverty."
"Hey!"
"Do you and your Father have any assets you're not telling me about?"
"Uh, no..."
"Then poverty it is. Bear with me, Saotome, it'll all work out-"
Nabiki's voice trailed off as she noticed she was now talking to a busty redheaded girl. Nabiki blinked. Hiroe gasped. Ranma looked back down the street, where a little old lady with a ladle and bucket was splashing water on the sidewalk to keep the dust down.
"Terrific." Ranma said resignedly. "Well, there's nothing for it. C'mon, let's go to school."
"Are you nuts, Saotome? Daddy registered you as a guy! I know where we can get some hot water..."
Nabiki grabbed Ranma by the pigtail and began dragging her around the corner. Hiroe just stared for a moment, blinking, then hurried to catch up.
*****************************
"You wait here, Ranma. I'll go get the kettle, okay?" AND take this opportunity to pay you back for that little scare... Nobody does THAT to Nabiki Tendou! "Uh, okay..." Ranma said absently, reading the signs. "Tofu Clinic... Chiropractic medicine, Moxibustion and Acupuncture." Good to know that there's a Doctor in this neighborhood, what with livin' in the same house as that psycho tomboy...
"Um, Ranma...? You ARE Ranma, right?" Hiroe had caught up at last, and was staring hard at the redhaired girl. Ranma blushed again. This was becoming a habit...
"Yeah, I'm Ranma... Sorry 'bout this. I guess if we're gonna be friends I should explain this..."
"That would probably be a good plan."
"My Pop and me, we're martial artists. A couple'a months ago, we were in China, and I fell into a cursed spring." Hiroe cocked an eyebrow skeptically. "I know how it sounds, but it's true, okay?" Ranma said, a little defensively, her tone growing bitter. "Anyway, I got cursed to change into a girl whenever I get hit with cold water. I can change back, but I need hot water to do it. There. Still want to be friends with a freakshow exhibit?"
"Sure. Why not?" Hiroe answered easily. "I bet you're never boring..."
"Huh?"
"I think it's kinda neat. Must be a real pain going to the beach..."
Ranma blinked. She didn't mind...? A small smile broke over her face.
"I dunno about the beach, but it's a pain going to a public bath..."
Soon enough, the two girls were laughing like... well, like friends sharing a joke. Ranma never realized how much he'd missed having friends. Maybe this school thing wasn't so bad an idea, after all... They shot the breeze for a few minutes, until Nabiki re-emerged from the Clinic with a teakettle in hand, accompanied by a stern looking man in spectacles and a black gi.
"Hey, Saotome! Here's the kettle you ordered. Oh, and this is Tofu-Sensei, the family doctor. Tofu-Sensei, meet Ranma." This should be good, Nabiki thought. Oh, Ranma, you're gonna get it now...
"Hi! Nice ta meetcha, Doc!" Ranma bowed politely.
"It's... a pleasure meeting you too." Tofu said, a little tersely. Ranma was briefly puzzled, but shrugged it off. She reached out and took the kettle from Nabiki.
"So how much is this gonna cost me, huh?"
"You can owe me." Ranma nodded in thanks, not noticing Hiroe's startled expression. She poured the steaming water over her head and shivered as her body shifted into male form.
"Ta-Da! Instant guy."
"Remarkable..." Tofu breathed, interested despite himself.
"Neat!" Hiroe added, earning a grateful smile from Ranma.
"Well, thanks a lot, Doc, but we'd better get movin'. Gotta get to school." Ranma said, gathering up his bookbag.
"Not so fast young man. I'd like to speak to you a moment, if I may..."
"Uh, sure, I guess." He turned to the girls. "D'you guys wanna wait, or should I catch up?"
Nabiki opened her mouth to answer, but Hiroe beat her to the punch.
"We'll wait..." Hiroe said cheerfully, earning a dark look from Nabiki. Unlike Hiroe, SHE had a spotless attendance record to uphold... Besides, the probable carnage that would follow might put her off her lunch.
"Thanks. We won't be long, will we Doc?"
"No, no... It'll only take a moment."
*********************************
Tofu sat the boy down in his examination room, and the two exchanged basic pleasantries before getting down to business.
"Ranma, I feel I must ask... What are your intentions regarding Ka-Ka-Kasumi Tendou?" His glasses almost fogged at the mention of the girl's name.
"Nabiki told you, huh?" Tofu nodded grimly. "Uhm, If you're askin' if I wanted this engagement, I'd hafta say no... Why d'you ask?"
"Just bear with me, Ranma. Please, go on." Ranma noted with a little alarm that Tofu's hands were clenched into white- knuckled fists.
"Well, she's nice an' all, but... T'be honest, I'm only goin' along with this engagement until I can figger a way to get outta it, ya know? I ain't ready to get married, to ANYbody."
"I see. So you have no feelings for her, then?"
"Like I said, she's real nice, an' pretty, but she ain't my type. Why, what, you like her or somethin'?" Ranma's eyes widened as he put two and two together. "Aw, geez, you DO. Man, I'm sorry, Doc. The engagement was my Pop an' Tendou-san's idea, not ours. Does she know you like her?"
"No. No, I don't believe she does... I can't bring myself to tell her."
"Well, shoot, Doc, ya gotta tell her... I won't stand in your way. Convincing Tendou-san; THAT might be a challenge."
Tofu nodded sadly, then smiled genially at Ranma.
"Well, I'm glad we cleared that up... now, on to more pleasant matters. Nabiki also mentioned that you were looking for some work on weekends?" Ranma nodded. "Well, I could always use an extra pair of hands around here... Sweeping up and answering the phone. I'm afraid I can't pay very much, but the position is yours if you want it..."
"Yeah..." Ranma said thoughtfully. "Yeah, that'd be great!"
"Well, then, it's settled. Come by after school and we'll discuss it further." He stood and showed Ranma to the door.
"Hey, thanks again, Doc! And, uh... sorry 'bout the whole mess."
"It's not your fault, Ranma. Be careful at school today!" Tofu gave him a comradely pat on the back, and sent him on his way.
Oh, Ono, that was beneath you, he thought to himself, but jealousy can make a man do strange things...
************************************
Akane walked quickly along the canal path, tracking her prey. He'd hopped off the fence here... Then he'd gotten soaked by the ladle-lady... She smiled, waving at the old woman before continuing on. He was travelling with two girls; doubtless Nabiki and one of her friends...
Hmm... Looks like Ranma-chan got dragged off this way. Dragged? Did somebody hurt him?! What's this way? Oh, ri-ight... Dr. Tofu's clinic! Looks like events are playing out much the way I remember them... If I hurry, I might just catch up with them...
She jogged the remaining blocks to Tofu's clinic and let herself in.
"Hello? Doctor...?" She peered around the corner. The waiting room was empty this early in the day, and the nice old widow who'd worked for Tofu before she passed away... What was her name? Mrs. Hira-something... Apparently hadn't started working yet. "Hello...?"
Something white and bony touched her shoulder. With a small start, she realized a skeleton had somehow snuck up behind her! Whirling, she lashed out with a flurry of quick strikes, powderizing the undead creature.
"Hah! Take THAT, hel-spawned monster!!"
"A-Akane...?" Akane looked up from the pile of bonedust on the floor, into the wide eyes of Tofu-sensei. "Umm... What did you do to Betty-chan?"
"Betty-chan? Who... Oh, drakeshit. I'm sorry, Tofu- sensei..." Damn! I'm wound WAY too tightly. Gotta remember, I'm home....
"That's... Quite all right, Akane. I suppose I shouldn't have startled you..." He looked down at the powdered remains of his medical skeleton and blinked once. He cleared his throat, and regained his composure, putting on the old Tofu bedside manner.
"I haven't seen you in a while... No new injuries?"
"Er... No, no... Just looking for Ranma. Is he still here?" "Ranma? I'm afraid you just missed him. Is there something I can help you with?"
"I don't..." A scheme occurred to her. If Tofu could be persuaded to seriously press his suit for Kasumi this time, then surely she'd drop Ranma like a hot potato... Right into my waiting arms! "Er, yes, actually. You like my sister, right?"
Tofu's glasses fogged over. "Ka-ka-kasumi?!" He fell off his chair.
"Ri-ight..." Forgot about THAT... "Well, I think you should go ask her out. Sweep her off her feet."
"On a d-d-d-date?" He stood up and walked into the wall. "Akane, you're taller than I remember. Have you put on some weight?"
"Over here, Sensei..."
Tofu spun and started talking to the coat rack. "Oh, THERE you are...You've lost weight, haven't you? And done something different with your hair?"
Akane sighed. This wasn't going to work, anymore than it had in HER remembered past. Tofu never had the stones to speak to Kasumi.... Waitaminute! If it's courage he lacks, then...
She walked up behind the babbling physician and tapped a point on his back, slightly beneath his right shoulderblade. He straightened immediately.
"Huh? Why am I talking to a coat rack?" He turned, his lenses defogged, a puzzled expression on his face. "I'm sorry, Akane-chan, I get these spells sometimes... What were we discussing?"
"Oh, you were just saying how you'd love to ask my sister Kasumi out for dinner..." Akane said cautiously, watching his eyes. The lenses of his spectacles remained clear.
"I did? I was? Well, why not? It couldn't hurt to ask, could it?" He said, driving a fist into his open palm. "I'll do it!"
Akane smiled. The ol' Dwarven Courage-Under-Fire point works every time! "Well, I really have to be getting to school. Bye now!"
"Yes... Goodbye, Akane-chan..." Tofu answered distractedly as Akane let herself out. Visions of tripping the light fantastic with the lovely Kasumi at his side danced through his head.
*************************************
Akane jogged up to the gates of Furinkan High, only to see Ranma, Nabiki and some other girl walk through the front doors. Before she had a chance to call out, a chorus of shouts echoed across the quad as a mob of boys dressed for various sports appeared as if out of nowhere.
"Akane's here!" Cried a Sumo wrestler.
"Akane Tendou, I love you!!" Called a hockey goalie on rollerblades.
"Stay back Akane, they all want to beat you!!!" A guy in a tennis outfit yelled. The mob stopped, and stared at him. "Yeah, well, all right, I wanna beat her too. It was merely an attempt at a clever ruse wherein I'd gain her confidence, and attack when her guard was down. You guys happy now?" The mob nodded as one, and continued their mad rush forward.
Akane smirked, and cracked her knuckles. She felt like a morning workout... ***************************************
Just inside the front doors of the school, Ranma turned at the chorus of shouts.
"Huh? Hey, Hiroe, what's goin' on?" Hiroe glanced over his shoulder.
"Oh, that's just the Horde o' Hentai. This happens every morning..."
"Horde o' Hentai?"
"Yeah, they're all trying to beat up Akane."
"Hunh? That's crazy! I'm no fan of that tomboy nutcase, but fifty-to-one ain't fair odds!" Images of the pain he'd suffered at Akane's hands yesterday flashed through his head, alongside the image of her standing there, naked, in the moonlight. She can take care of herself just fine, he decided... Then again, maybe if I step in, she won't have a chance to put the whammy on those dumb jerks; ain't nobody deserves THAT kinda pain... "Aw, hell. I better go put a stop to this. Hold my bag, willya?" He tossed his bag to Hiroe and bolted out the door.
"Ranma! Wait!"
"Too late, Hiroe..." Nabiki deadpanned. "I guess he'll have to find out for himself..." I can't understand why Tofu didn't pound on him... Oh well. Another round with Akane might be chastisement enough...
********************************* Akane charged forward into the mass of assailants, mowing through the boys with disabling pressure point strikes. Every once in a while, just for variety, she struck out with a high kick or a jab, sending her opponent sprawling. She remembered this being a lot harder in the old days, but what the hell, it was fun to mix it up every once in a while...
A lot sooner than she'd figured, the attack was over. She looked up from the supine form of her last opponent to see Ranma facing her in a defensive stance, having fought through the crowd from behind to get to her.
"Ranma...?"
"Don't be gettin' any weird ideas, Akane... I ain't here ta fight you. I just wanted to make sure-"
"Ranma!" She shot through his defense like it was tissue paper; Ranma winced anticipating agony, but instead found himself looking down the barrel of a glomp!
"Thanks for coming to save me!" Akane said as she looked up at him, a joyful smile on her face. "I can take care of myself, but it's so sweet that you care!!!" She snuggled closer. This is what she'd been wishing for, all those lonely years!
"Hey!! No, I... C'mon, you crazy tomboy, everybody's lookin'!!" He wriggled, trying to escape her grip.
"I know you don't mean it when you call me names, Ranma! And I don't care who knows I love you!!!"
"Hunh?!?! What?!?!" He succeeded, with difficulty, in extracting himself from the glomp. Holding her at arm's length, he looked her straight in the eye.
"Lissen Akane. The only reason I stepped in was to make sure you didn't use that 'Torture Fist' thing on these stooges. These ain't martial artists, y'know. A move like that'd more'n likely give 'em all heart attacks or somethin'. It ain't 'cause I care about you."
Akane blinked, her smile fading slightly. "You think I'd use the Fist on losers like this? You baka, I know better than that! I only use that move on fighters who are serious threats!"
She paused a moment to let that sink in. She hoped he'd realize that she was trying to pay him a complement. He merely looked confused.
"What about these guys? Were they 'serious threats'?" He gestured around at the piles of groaning bodies. Akane was growing frustrated. Why didn't Ranma understand?!
"What, you think I'm some kind of orc or something?! All I used was a simple pressure point tactic that might finally restore blood flow to their brains. Let's just get one thing straight here, mister-"
A rooba-rooba passed through the gathered crowd. Who WAS this guy? Akane didn't even TRY to pound him... A tall figure dressed in a kendo uniform shouldered his way through the assembled gawkers and gasped angrily.
"You there! How DARE you take such liberties with the beauteous Akane Tendou!!!!"
"Shut UP, dolt! I'm talking to my fiance here!!!" Akane barked without thinking. The crowd gasped as one. Kunou turned white. Ranma's eyes bugged. As soon as she realized what she'd said, she froze, paling. Idiot! He's NOT your fiance! Not yet...
Ranma, for his part, was equally stunned, both by Akane's tirade and her statement that he was HER fiance... Fortunately, he recovered quickly.
"Who're you callin' your fiance?! I ain't your damn fiance, lady, I'm engaged to your sister! Leave me the hell alone!!"
This sent a new wave of rooba-roobas through the crowd. The new guy's engaged to Nabiki?
"No, no! Not me!! It's not me!!!" Nabiki cried out the door, panicking. "He's engaged to Kasumi!!" The kendoist's brain exploded with an audible ka-boom. He raised his bokken high, trembling in righteous wrath.
"DAMN YOU, WRETCH! Not only do you lecherously paw the beauteous Akane Tendou, but you DARE to molest her sweet sisters as well?!! Thou art truly an enemy of women!! I SHALL SMITE THEE!!!" He rushed forward, swinging viciously.
Ranma and Akane dodged nimbly aside as the wooden blade passed harmlessly through the air. Ranma kicked out, tripping the kendoist and sending him sprawling.
"Just who the hell are you, buddy?"
The swordsman picked himself up off the ground with a groan. He took a moment to compose himself, brushed some dirt of his clothes, and spun, with all the dignity and bearing a man who's just been sucker-tripped onto the pavement can muster.
"It's a bit after the fact now, but... Very Well!! I am the rising young star of the High School fencing world! The undefeated captain of this school's Kendo club!! My name is spoken in whispers and cried out in fear!!! I am-"
Akane interrupted in a bored tone. "The Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, blah, blah, blah..."
He continued as if he hadn't heard her, raising his bokken overhead dramatically. "-THE BLUE THUNDER OF FURINKAN HIGH!!!!!" Lightning crashed on cue overhead. "Tatewaki Kunou, age seventeen." Ranma glanced over at Akane.
"It sounds better when HE says it..." Akane shrugged. Kunou gave a little nod.
"Yes, well, good showmanship is everything, you know. And who are YOU, cur? Let me know, so that I may have it engraved upon your tombstone!"
"Er, well, okay, here goes... I'm stayin' at the Tendou Dojo..." Kunou's eyes flashed.
"In the same house as Akane?!! DIE!!!!" He lunged at Ranma, who simply backflipped out of the way.
"Hey! I let you finish YOUR stoopid speech... I'm heir to the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling..." He nimbly dogged a series of attacks by the kendoist as he formulated his response, landing squarely in front of Akane as he slid into a soft defensive stance. "I'm Ranma Saotome, and I accept your challenge!!!"
Akane sighed happily. By the Gods, he was gorgeous like this!
************************************
Back at the Tendou-ke, Genma was lurking. Soun had accompanied Kasumi on a shopping trip, leaving him alone in the house. Genma slunk up the stairs to Soun's room, looking for evidence to prove or disprove his son's allegations that his old friend and his daughters were secretly members of a Shinobi clan.
As such, he didn't notice the fact that it had started raining outside...
************************************
_/ Cliffs of Athaq, Aramar, 543 7th Age\_
Baron watched expectantly as Akane finished making her wish, waiting for the flash of magical light heralding his friend's return to her own time. She'd been a valiant companion, and he'd miss her. He resolved to wait until she had disappeared for good before leaving; a sort of last goodbye...
Akane finished her incantation, and fainted. Baron rushed to her side and picked her up gently in with his huge talons. In moments, she stirred. She sat up with a start, blinked and looked around.
*Oh, that's a disappointment*, Baron sent telepathically. *You worked so hard to earn that wish, too... I wonder what went wrong?*
Akane's eyes went wide and she stared up at the gigantic red-gold beast.
"Oh my God!" She screamed in Japanese. "A dragon!!!!!" *Oh dear... Please don't shout like that Akane, you know it hurts my ears...*
Akane scrambled to her feet and leapt out of Baron's cupped claws, looking around frantically.
"Where am I? What happened to the Dojo?" She said hesitantly. Baron sent a hesitant telepathic probe, but all he could pick up was panic, fear and the phrase *Don'tEatMeDon'tEatMeDon'tEatMe* running on a loop through his friend's thoughts.
*Oh my...*
************************************
NEXT TIME: Akane gets medieval, a certain redhead gets an admirer, and Ranma gets some! (Well, maybe...)