#2 - Friends - No Longer Mine Enemy

Esther couldn't remember the exact moment that she had stopped thinking of Swaine as a criminal and started to think of him as a friend, but she knew that their friendship had been solidified during their time-travelling trip, where the trio found themselves pulled through time by an unknown force to Hamelin of fifteen years previously.

Hamelin of the past was rather like Hamelin of Esther's current time - dank, dark, dreary, and heavily polluted, however none of the inhabitants wore pig suits, making the city seem like a friendlier place. They had been in old Hamelin for at least a week or more, and the trio had found more than they bargained for. They had found the two princes, and they had found Mornstar, for which Oliver was greatly pleased; however when they came back to the palace they found a terrible shock: the Emperor, in his throne room, lying prone on the ground. While Esther held Marcassin, who was overwhelmed with fear, Swaine and Oliver ran to the Emperor and held him through his last moments. The Emperor's revelation of Swaine's true identity had shocked them all, and Swaine's response had been more surprising still.

It had been two days after the Emperor's passing, and Esther and Oliver had still not seen Swaine. Their days had been uneventful, wandering through old Hamelin, haggling with the shopkeepers, eating lunch with Marcassin. The Hamelin populace was in shock, but the courtiers and the Emperor's advisers were doing an admirable job of keeping the peace. Esther's heart ached for Marcassin; he was too young to fully understand the implications of his father's death and the disappearance of his older brother, however she also worried about Swaine. Neither she nor Oliver knew where he had vanished to, and Esther knew that he was liable to act rashly when he was emotional. She also knew that he would likely have problems of a more practical nature; Swaine often forgot to eat – he claimed it was a remnant of his past, and Esther had never seen fit to press him for more information.

Esther knew that it would be a good idea to find Swaine, to see how he was coping with his father's sudden death. In the late afternoon, she made her apologies to Oliver, who was keenly comparing notes about the local creature population to several of the more adventurous guards, and went to find Swaine. Oliver had been talking about travelling back to their own time within the next few days, and neither he nor Esther wished to leave Swaine behind.

Wandering through the Porcine Palace, Esther was awed by the sheer size of it. There were winding corridors and large open spaces, huge glass windows and tiled floors, and a vast array of rooms, some large and some small, some filled with shelves of books, and some with armour on mannequins. After accidently stumbling into both a storeroom and then Marcassin's playroom, she eventually entered the throne room to find Swaine there, glumly sitting on the Emperor's throne, head held up by his hands, elbows dug into his thighs, staring off into a vague distance. He hadn't appeared to notice Esther entering the room, and she was loathe to break the silence that hung heavily around the room. Noiselessly walking towards him, she sat cross-legged on the other end of the throne from Swaine and waited.

She did not have to wait long. A few moments later, Swaine turned to look at her and quietly said,

"Oh. Esther. It's you."

His eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot, and there were damp tear-tracks on both cheeks. He had obviously been crying, but Esther was too polite to mention it. Instead, she held out a sandwich, saying,

"I brought you a sandwich. I-I thought since we didn't see you at lunchtime that you might have forgotten to eat."

Swaine looked genuinely touched that Esther had came to look for him. He gratefully accepted the sandwich and bit into it hungrily, before saying with a full mouth,

"You remembered that I forget to eat? What kind of person are you? Do you know these kinds of things about Oliver as well?"

Esther raised an eyebrow and answered,

"I've been travelling with you for a month. You forget to eat and it makes you grumpy. You've done it before. And besides, Oliver wanted me to see how you were doing."

An almost-smile crossed Swaine's face at her comments, but it was quickly replaced with a frown and a sigh. Swaine placed the sandwich half-eaten down upon the throne and placed his head in his hands again. Eventually he mumbled,

"Thanks for the food."

Esther smiled; it was always nice to be appreciated. Swaine did not bother to look at her; he simply returned to staring into the distance, apparently lost in his own thoughts. Wanting to break the silence, Esther asked,

"Are you okay?"

Swaine didn't even appear to hear her, and a heavy silence enveloped the room, broken only by the sounds of quiet breathing.

"No one stands up to Shadar and survives."

Esther nearly jumped as Swaine spoke; it was unexpected. Glancing over at Swaine, she could see that he had not moved. She moved slightly closer to him and gently put her hand on his shoulder. Swaine turned to look at her, and he seemed to properly notice her for the first time. Esther said,

"Swaine, your father is- was, a good man."

Swaine turned his face away from hers and snorted. She deliberately chose to ignore it and continued,

"I think he'd be proud of you."

Another snort. Esther gently lifted her hand away from his bony shoulder and let him have a moment of privacy. She knew what it was like to lose a loved one. Her mother had died when Esther was merely a child and the memories still stung her sometimes. Swaine scathingly replied,

"Why would he be proud of me? I ran away. I left to get away from him. You heard everything I said about him. Why would he be proud of me? And now he's gone and I'll never get to make him proud."

He sounded tormented and grief-stricken, and Esther's heart hurt in sympathy for him. She answered,

"You came back though. Right when it matters, you come back. You promised Marcassin that you would come back if he needed it, and you kept that promise. Your father would be proud of you for that."

Esther couldn't help but notice that a new tear made its way down Swaine's face. He wordlessly wiped it away before sullenly continuing,

"No one stands up to Shadar and survives. How are we going to? We're openly defying him and he's already come after us once. Who's to say that the next time we'll survive?"

Esther sighed quietly. Everything Swaine was saying made perfect sense to her; she had those fears too. She admitted,

"Swaine, I'm scared too."

She looked up to find Swaine's dark eyes on her, and he appeared interested in what she had to say. She continued,

"I'm terrified. I'm afraid I'll be killed in a battle or worse. When Shadar attacked us I honestly believed we was going to die, but Oliver never lets that happen. I can trust that my familiars will heal me, or if I'm too tired, I can trust that Oliver will remember to heal me. We've seen what he can do, you and I. He made my father believe again. He fixed both of us. He really believes in what he's doing."

"And if he's wrong?"

Swaine's voice was quiet, but steady. Esther shrugged and replied,

"I don't know. If he's wrong and this is for nothing, then we'll have helped people. We'll die and know that there are people that would still be heartbroken if we hadn't helped. I've seen what Oliver's capable of. He made my father believe again. My father hasn't had this much faith in anything since my mother died. So if Oliver can do that, then I'd say we've got a chance against Shadar."

Swaine continued to look at her silently, and then abruptly looked away and sadly said,

"I'm sorry. I didn't know about your mother."

Esther answered quickly,

"It's okay Swaine, really. She passed away when I was young, so I barely remember her. But my father misses her everyday and everyone tells me he hasn't been the same since she died. Oliver fixed him though."

"Wish he could have fixed the Emperor."

There was no malice in Swaine's tones, only a faint hint of regret and longing. Esther looked up at him, and he glanced at her and smiled slightly. Esther gently said,

"Oliver knows what he's doing. He's got Mr. Drippy to help him and we're here to help him too. Right?"

There was a hoarse chuckle from Swaine, and he confessed,

"It's not like I wanted to. I'm only here because of Marcassin."

"And now?"

Esther would never admit it, but she was starting to enjoy having Swaine as a travelling companion. She was secretly relieved when Swaine replied,

"I'll be here for the long haul. I've seen what we can do, and I wanna be a part of it. I've seen some crazy things these past few months and I've got some skills and knowledge that could be useful to you two."

"Then stay."

Swaine smiled thinly and replied,

"I'm planning on it."

The conversation had petered out, and the pair sat on the throne in silence. Eventually Esther asked,

"Swaine, what was your father like?"

He sighed and said,

"You saw him. That's what he was like. He cared about Marcassin, it was obvious. Our mother died giving birth to Marcassin and he felt guilty. Marcassin was the son he always wanted to have, and he had no idea what to do with me. Both of us got whatever we wanted, but Marcassin got praised and I got shamed. He never told me he was proud of me. I just assumed that he didn't care about me at all."

Esther put her hand on Swaine's shoulder again. Through his green trench coat, he was still quite thin and his shoulder bones could be felt. Swaine turned to meet her eyes and he smiled at her, and Esther found herself smiling back. The tear tracks on his face had dried, and Esther could sense that he seemed to be a bit more at peace. There was still something bothering him though, and he finally looked away and said,

"Esther?"

"Mmm?"

"Which father do I remember? Do I remember the one I rebelled against, the one I believed hated me, or do I remember my father as he was dying, where I finally understood who he was? Both of them were real, but they blur together in my mind and I can't remember the details."

"You remember your father in his better times. You remember the good and honourable parts of him. He wasn't completely perfect but he loved you."

She gave his shoulder a light squeeze as she answered him. One final tear ran down Swaine's face, but he wiped it away quickly, not wanting Esther to worry. Taking a deep breath, he stood up and turned to Esther and tried to speak. His voice cracked and he coughed twice before he managed to say,

"Won't Oliver be worried about us? We probably should go and find him."

Esther gently asked,

"Are you sure you're all right?"

Swaine nodded, but Esther continued speaking.

"Whatever happens, remember that you're a good man. No one can change that. You helped us out, and it made all the difference."

Swaine smiled, and this time it was a smile that reached his eyes. He replied,

"I'll keep that in mind."

Esther, feeling nervous, stood up to face Swaine, held out her hand and said,

"Friend?"

Swaine shook her hand firmly and smiled again at her, and Esther found herself smiling back.

"Friend. Now let's go and find Oliver. We've got a prince to save."

Grief makes people vulnerable, and Esther was glad Swaine had allowed her to see him even while he was vulnerable. She knew that in a few days time it would be as if the conversation had never happened, but she was content to have been able to help Swaine in his time of need. And more than that, she was glad to have firmly cemented their friendship.

A/N: Part Two is here! (yay?) At this point I'm trying to decide whether or not to go straight to them realizing that they are interested in each other or whether it would be better to show more of them as friends.

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed (Dustpool, Titanticspaz & Mysterious Loser), I'm really glad you all enjoyed it and thanks for taking the time out to review my fic. I do appreciate it.

I own nothing of Ni No Kuni.