Ma Chao's Wrath

Chapter 2

The Verdict

"You have to be one of the most emotional people I know."

I opened my eyes to see Zhao Yun being pushed into the tent with an aggravated look across his face. His hair was up in a lopsided ponytail and he looked as if he was trying to wash the grime of battle off before Ma Chao got a hold of him. It was something I had to burn into my brain: Zhao Yun looked disheveled. Then I saw my lord burst in and I sunk back into the bed. He looked furious.

"Stop mocking me and try to be helpful." Lord Ma sneered and tossed his helmet across the tent.

"Fine. Want to start by giving the wounded one some rest and recuperation time before you start down your path of mass destruction and righteous indignation?" General Zhao brushed off his tunic annoyed that he looked so unkempt.

I looked up and saw him glaring at me. He quickly looked back to his friend and replied, "Can you be serious?"

"I always am serious." The general then sat down on my cot and sighed. "Unless the situation calls for ridicule."

I wanted to go to sleep and pretend like the incident never happened. It had all been so good before and I didn't appreciate it. "My lords…."

"Now you're returning to formalities?"

"Fine." I sat up and wrapped the extra blanket around my shoulders. "What will this achieve?"

"Exactly my point." Zhao Yun snorted. "What do you want Mengqi? You couldn't figure out she was a girl in FOUR years of service? That's not going to look good for you…then there's the fact that a girl was the only one of your elite bodyguards to make it back alive…"

"What are you implying?" How my lord's eyes burned with rage. I involuntarily shivered; I never wanted to be the target of his wrath.

I watched him fume. I could see him struggling with the allegation knowing that General Zhao was speaking the truth. Questions would be asked, eyebrows would raise and his reputation would be damaged. Me? I was already dead…who cared what they thought after my head was detached. Liu Bei would not react well to hearing of a woman mingling amongst his men…especially if he remembered how many times I stood guard while they bathed. I could say nothing; I was the one to blame for this. There was no good way out now that he dragged me back from the field.

"You know exactly what I'm saying, stop getting pissed. Your damned anger isn't going to solve anything and you're only going to make shit worse. Now calm down and start thinking straight. If you publicize this then everyone is going to be placing the blame on you. You're the one who never noticed she doesn't have the right equipment; you're the one who promoted her to be closest to you and then ride into camp with her draped across your lap. For now you're safe. No one except that surgeon knows anything and he knows better than to talk and my advice is that you follow his example. Do you want this getting back to Lady Yang?"

"Nothing happened!"

"Mengqi, it doesn't matter. Just keep your mouth shut till we get home. Let the genius figure it out."

I kept my eyes away from them both. Lady Yang was now a good six months pregnant with his third child and she was very jealous of any attention her husband received from the ladies of the court. If something were to upset her, she could lose the baby and that wasn't something that I could let happen. If the camp got wind of this, they would gossip and his reputation would be shattered. How could my simple plan do so much damage? I hardly knew who I was anymore, the act had slowly eaten away my original self and now I was left with something frightening. I would never get away with acting like I did as a woman. So what were my options?

xxxxxxx

Perhaps the next four weeks were the worst of my life. My time was spent in bed or in a medic wagon being carted from place to place. No one except the surgeon visited me, and it was a cruel punishment. Used to the life of a bodyguard I was accustomed to being able to go where ever I desired and having many luxuries not known by common soldiers. Most of all I missed my Lord and that is what dominated my thoughts. I doubted I'd ever see his smile again, only that look of betrayal would await me. Finally, we arrived in Cheng Du.

"Can you walk?"

I was startled by his appearance at the wagon flap. It was the first time I'd seen him since the conference with Zilong and I didn't expect him to be the one to help me out of the medic wagon. An added bonus was that he didn't seem so angry, but with him there was always a storm hiding beneath the surface. "Yes, I can."

"Can I help you out?" Such short sentences and I was quick to catch on to the fact that they were simple ones. All they required were simple 'yes' or 'no' answers.

I shuffled around and hobbled over to his outstretched arms and let him lift me up and set me to the ground. It flustered me; I had never been so close to him as a woman. Now that we both knew of my charade I felt the discomfort. "Thanks."

"Lord Liu Bei and Master Zhuge are waiting." The formalities only made the confrontation colder. Unless in their presence he refrained from such titles, believing himself to be their equal. Lord of XiLiang was far more impressive than anything the 'Imperial Uncle' could boast and Zhuge Liang annoyed him too much to be worthy of respect. He was treating me like a stranger and I knew whatever punishment the Shu high command had for me would be far more bearable than this. He quickly looked away and I understood. No need wasting energy talking to the condemned.

I looked up and saw General Zhao waiting with his reassuring smile and an arm to lean on. "Shall we Major?"

"I think it best if I remain outside." My lord's eyes didn't return to my own. No, he was trying to distance himself. Just like when he had to put his old war horse down on the field.

"I wish you the best….my lord." I hobbled forward taking Zilong's arm to steady myself. Damn how my leg ached.

Xxxxx

I sat before both Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei as the looked over my records and shot me questioning glances and Zhao Yun stood silently by the door. I didn't really give a damn anymore; I just wanted this to be over.

"You do understand how serious this offense Zhuge Liang asked and I saw his soft eyes. He seemed so kind; it was bizarre how many people hated him just because he was intelligent.

"I do."

"You were impersonating an officer." Liu Bei mumbled.

"I was impersonating a man. I became an officer out of my own merit." Dammit…I wasn't doing a good job of not caring or acting demure.

"Still you've overstepped the boundaries of what society has deemed right for a young lady!" Liu Bei snapped. "You did not think of your family or your lord, only yourself. You have brought shame upon so many people for this foolish escapade!"

"Sir, " Zhao Yun's voice echoed across the room. "Perhaps that speech is not the most effective coming from a man who has married Lady Sun….or even one that has Lady Huang as his wife."

"Zilong…" Zhuge Liang grumbled and I saw his indecision begin to grow. Why General Zhao was being so kind…hell I didn't care. It wouldn't do any good.

"No he is right." Liu Bei stood up and began to pace. "I would be a hypocrite…and I won't do that."

"So the obvious answer is to assign you to Lady Sun's entourage." Kongming smiled, proud of his quick dismissal of the situation.

"Why not Yue Ying's?" Lu Bei queried

"My beloved wife….doesn't get along well with other women. At least not those who hide who they are."

That was a lovely retort. Now I was regarded as the lowest possible specimen of the army; I couldn't even overcome the barriers due to my sex…I had to cheat. Sun Shang Xiang's bodyguards were going to be no better, the young Princess was so chipper and her bodyguards followed suit. I was a pariah and if I felt my life had no meaning before, I was going to find out how very horrible it could have been. There would be no journey back to what I had; instead I was going to voluntarily become what I had run away from Wu Wei to avoid. Just another face in the crowd; just another woman that took up space. I hadn't noticed Liu Bei staring at me until too late. "My lord?"

"This displeases you?"

"No sir…I am grateful for your mercy." I mustn't have sounded convincing, Zhuge Liang stopped signing his paperwork and stared at me with a look of contempt.

"Serve my wife well; you will not have another chance." Liu Bei announced with an air of dismissal.