A/N: These are a series of microfills for the holiday prompt at the kink meme. I do have an actual (cracky!) plot planned for this fic. I'm just posting these for archiving purposes. There's a lot of messing around with the formatting, so watch out for that. As always, thank you so much for the reviews!

Logged: 1:30 PM 12/21/2281

DontShootMeBro: Hey, I'm coming home soon. Is the tree ready?

GannonFodder: Yeah, Lily and Cass just pulled it from Jacobstown. How's Zion?

DSMB: Beautiful. Wish I could spend Christmas here. How do you think everyone feels about a road trip?

GF: You're not gonna make me share a bedroll with Boone, right?

DSMB: Now why would I do that?

GF: …

DSMB: What?

GF: We won't make it to Zion in time anyway.

DSMB: I guess not. Maybe next year. I'm bringing back this book called Scripture. That's important, right?

GF: Yes, Christmas is a Christian holiday. That's their holy book.

DSMB: How much do you think it's worth this time of year?

GF: That's not gonna sell.

DSMB: Watch me. I'm an awesome salesperson.

Logged: 2:26 PM 12/21/2281

SuperstarGranny: HELLO JIMMY DEAR

GannonFodder: Hi Lily.

SG: HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR SISTER?

GF: Which one? Oh, and Lily? You don't have to type like that.

SG: I'M SORRY DEAR. IT'S JUST SO HARD TO READ ON THIS LITTLE SCREEN. COULD YOU MAKE YOUR TEXT BIGGER?

GF: Is this better?

SG: YES DEAR. NOW COULD YOU TELL YOUR SISTER TO BRING HOME SOME SUGAR? WE'RE ALMOST OUT AND I NEED TO FINISH THIS BATCH OF CHRISTMAS COOKIES.

GF: I will, Lily.

SG: I HEAR SHE'S BRINGING HOME A YOUNG MAN FOR THE HOLIDAYS. I HAVE A BRAHMIN ROAST IN THE OVEN FOR HIM.

GF: What? Who?

SG: DON'T FORGET TO STOP BY THE GIFT SHOP AFTER WORK, JIMMY. OUR GUEST NEEDS A GIFT UNDER THE TREE TOO. WHAT DO LEGIONARIES LIKE, DEAR?

GF: WHAT?

Logged: 7:30 PM 12/21/2281

WhiskeyR0s3: m3rr¥ (hr1$7m4$ b00!

GannonFodder: Cass, remember what we discussed about readability?

WR: But it's so pretty.

GF: You're hurting my eyes.

WR: You're oppressing my creativity!

Logged: 12:10 AM 1/1/2282

DontShootMeBro: HAPPU NEW YEAX!

DSMB: Casss was NOT lying when she said purr bourbon fucks u up qwuick

DSMB: I'm so drunk baby, could use sum 8===D~~~~ in the ({}) right noww hahahaha

DSMB: But with like condoms coz babies and shit

DSMB: Will u b mad if I said I onlylike u for ur bodty?

DSMB: *boty

DSMB: *boody

DSMB: Dammit this keypdad spelling ererything wrong.

DSMB: Hey vulpes where are u you should be here with me, I miss u

DSMB: But not just for ur bodyy I swaer

DSMB: If your not here in ten minutes I'mma gonna start the sexy lovins without u

DSMB: I have a new yearss resolution

DSMB: Imm'a gonna make enoughh bottle caps to fill the tub in my rooom then bathe in it. Then I'll shoot anyuone who triess to takes my caps while bathingg secily.

DSMB: It's genius.

DSMB: Oh god im so drunk

DSMB: Sorry I know you dont like seeing me like this, im suxh a porfligate I know

DSMB: But you like that, yea?

DSMB: Im ur dirty dirty profligate, and ur gonna set me right

DSMB: Teach me a lesson baby

DSMB: With your penis

DSMB: Heh.

FitzGrubnGulp: Missy, I think you have the wrong man.

You have logged out.

End logs.

(A/N: Cass was actually posting in glitter text but leet text is the next best thing. :D)