Reflections
It was over. The end. That was all that coursed through Jellal's mind as he lie under debris from a fiery explosion. Sharp bits of broken glass dug into his skin and the weight of splintered wood and crumbling concrete was beginning to expel the air from his lungs. All he could do was regret. All that he'd done wrong was just a dull shadow of the past. Laying bruised and broken with his bangs covering his face he allowed himself to break down. He let out an agonized wail, not for the pain, rather for his actions and inaction. Repenting was the last thing he thought. The grief laden wail turned into a broken sob and before he knew it, his face was wet from freely flowing tears. No longer able to repay those he hurt. No longer able to see her happy. Jellal lay cursing himself to the lower rings of hell for not making it up to her. This made him wonder if it was it would've been possible to right his wrongs.
After a moment of pondering, a realization cut him to the quick. The ruble above him meant nothing. The truth of her ever reoccurring speeches hit him like a freight train. He had not been living as she had said. Every action committed by the man, was to literally and physically survive. Jellal had even managed to bring about the irritation of sweet Meredy who believed in their repentance, but not in discarding their lives. For seven years his only goal had been to better the world at his expense. He had not lived, only survived, for the people around him. Finding no joy in anything, life had become dull, melancholic, and pointless. In his opinion, a proper punishment for someone so vile. Only now, as he lay crushed, battered, and utterly broken in every way, did he realize the weight of that mentality. He had been only a shadow, a husk, of what he could've been. Instead of making the best of the situation, like she would, he had simply struggled through it with minimal care, effort, or involvement. She truly was "always right". Being unable to see the truth until the end was depressing. As Jellal lay dying he succumbed to a guilty pleasure which he'd never admit aloud, thinking of her. It had been something he had adopted recently since he learned that she was alive and back in the flow of time. Playing her and himself through a range of various what-if scenarios had become a habit of his. A habit which grew more frequent, and more desperate after their encounter before the games began.
Author's Note: Finally I dug it out and published it. It had been laying around for four months! I hope Jellal can get a grip on himself before he realizes its too late! I'm going to add a few more chapters to this probably.