Warnings: Language, Violence, Blood/Gore, Suggestive Themes, YAOI(male-on-male)
Un-beta'd: Yes—please point out my mistakes.
Disclaimers: I do not own DMC, and I make no money from this story.
Dedicated to dodgegirl66(surrendertome) for her generous gift.
By nightfall, Nero was exasperated by the unceasing itchiness of his skin but happy to have noticed no other symptoms of those accursed shards. Nero was surprised, however, that with all the scratching he had done, most of the tiny purple shards were still stuck like thorns in his skin. Though he had experienced no new symptoms thus far, the devil hunter was a bit concerned that if the bards were so well-designed to stay stuck in one's skin, they would have to have some purpose beyond making him itch like he had chicken pox.
Curious, Nero made his way downstairs to question Dante about his own symptoms. When Nero arrived downstairs, he caught a lotion-caked, shirtless Dante hissing in pain. His skin was splotched with puffy red patches even on skin that Nero knew had been covered when the chimera exploded that morning.
"You alright, old man?" Nero tried to sound like himself, but his concern tainted his voice.
"No," Dante growled lowly. "I rubbed some lotion on 'cause I thought it would help the itching, but it burns like fuck."
Nero frowned. "Do you think maybe there's a purpose to these things?"
"Hell if I know," Dante ground through gritted teeth.
"Uh, well, do you think maybe we should figure it out?" Nero didn't intend to sound like a smartass, but it happened and he couldn't very well swallow his words back down. Dante was never one to get angry when he smarted-off before, but Nero thought the man in an unusually bad mood but with good reason.
"Right now, I really don't know. I'm just gonna wait it out and hope I don't scratch my balls."
Nero's eyes widened when Dante implied that the shards could he spread by scratching, and he suddenly remembered that he had, in fact, scratched his balls. The part-devil groaned loudly, smacking a hand to his forehead. How long would it be before he could feel that horrible itching down there, of all places? It seemed Dante figured out that Nero had scratched his balls, and the hunter started cackling gleefully.
"Shut the fuck up," Nero growled, punching the man in the shoulder and sneering when he found his knuckles caked with slick lotion.
"Ha-ha, you're gonna have itchy balls," Dante chanted like childhood bully. Nero wanted to sock him in his stupid face, but he was at least satisfied to see the man scratching furiously where his fist had made impact.
"Whatever, I'm gonna take a shower," Nero breathed, heading upstairs. He flipped Dante off when the man yelled not to waste all the hot water. Nero was tempted to stay in the shower and use up all the hot water just to spite him, but he would hold off all the "meat tenderizing" jokes as long as he could.
After a very stinging, burning shower, Nero crawled into bed, growling at the sheets every time they tickled his skin and made his itching worse. He whined and sighed defeatedly when he realized sleep wasn't going to come so easily to him that night.
Meanwhile, Dante was showering when the water suddenly grew cold. He gasped, his skin horripilating, which only seemed to make the itching more intense. The halfbreed sighed, his infallibly content mood actually disrupted for a rare once in awhile. Normally, he could take almost anything fate ditched out with a few snarky jokes and bottles of beer. That constant itching, however, like hundreds of tiny insects burrowing into his skin, was nearly driving him insane.
When his shower was over, Dante decided attempting sleep would be his best course of action, whereas he would have normally stayed awake a few hours farther into the night. He knew life wouldn't be quite as enjoyable in his current predicament, and if he could find solace in sleep, he would certainly seek it out.
Nero's eyes slowly cracked open to the darkness of the early morn. After tossing and turning and scratching for hours on end, he had finally drifted off, but he seldom even remembered falling asleep. Nero wanted to rub the grit out of his eyes but stopped himself at the last minute. He didn't need anything else to be itching. However, Nero noticed that, strangely enough, he no longer felt itchy at all. A small burst of happiness filled the young part-devil as he hoped that the itching was finally over.
He was far too exhausted, however, to feel joy for long. The hunter rolled out of bed and shuffled across the cold wood to the bathroom. His brow furrowed when he noticed how awkward and heavy his body felt, as if he had suddenly gained several pounds, but the hunter attributed it to sleep deprivation. Without flipping the light switch, the young man stepped into the bathroom. He spat expletives into the darkness when he somehow managed to bash his elbow into the doorframe and nearly snap his smallest toe off on the opposite side. Walking through an open doorway had never been so difficult and painstaking before, but Nero just assumed he was unsteady on his feet because he had recently woken up. Hoping he would aim correctly, Nero was relieved by the sound of the toilet water when he took a piss. Afterward, the hunter returned to his bedroom, but he halted when he reached the center of the room, going silent and scoping his surroundings carefully.
Why the fuck am I in Dante's room?
Nero stared, dumbfounded, at Dante's bed, shocked to find it void of the other hunter. Had they somehow switched beds in their sleep? Nero recalled, when he was younger, that he sometimes sleepwalked if he didn't get enough sleep. Perhaps, out of some strange coincidence, Dante did the same. That explanation didn't strike Nero as very plausible, however, and he went to see if Dante was in his bed, as well.
The door creaked quietly when Nero pushed it open, and the hunter peeked inside. Through the darkness, he could tell that someone was definitely in his bed. Strangely, however, the silhouette appeared too small to be Dante, and Nero attributed that to the fact that the man was curled in on himself rather than sprawled across the bed as he usually slept. Concerned that the hunter's condition may have worsened severely, Nero flipped the switch beside the door and padded softly over to the bed.
The light woke the person in the bed, however, and when they rolled around to face him, Nero was utterly astonished by what he saw. He couldn't stop the gasp that came from his throat when he saw his own face staring sleepily up at him. Confusion spread onto the other's face, however, when awareness returned to him. Nero watched, stunned and gawking, as his own eyes traced up and down his body. It was only at that moment that Nero realized he was stark nude, and even worse, he was Dante. The stubble he reached up to feel on his chin and how unfamiliar his body looked as he gazed toward his feet said more than even a mirror could. He was afraid to look into one anyway for fear that his horrible nightmare would suddenly come true.
"Okay, this is some crazy, fucking dream," he stammered, breaking a higher pitch when he heard Dante's voice coming from his throat. "Wake up," he commanded to himself, beating his head against the wall.
"W-what the Hell... is going on?" asked the Nero in his bed, pausing over each syllable when he heard the unfamiliar voice coming from his own throat. They both gaped at each other for a pregnant pause.
"I don't think that chimera just wanted to give us itchy nuts, Dan... me?" Nero was extremely perplexed for a moment as he wondered exactly what to call the face staring back at him that should have been in a mirror, not his bed.
"No, I'm you," said the Nero in his bed.
"You're not me," Nero objected, clenching his fists and unsettled without feeling the familiar texture of his Devil Bringer's armored digits. It felt as if he has lost an arm.
"No, I'm you right now," corrected the other male.
"So you're Dante?"
"Yes."
"And I'm... myself?"
"Yes," repeated the Nero in his bed, who Nero was now obligated to call "Dante".
"This so so fucking weird," Nero stuttered so quickly Dante almost couldn't understand what he said. "We switched places?"
"I guess so," Dante said, examining the unfamiliar body he know occupied. He picked at the black boxers he was wearing, unused to sleeping in anything but his birthday suit.
"How did this happen?" Nero searched for the shards in his flesh again but found that they had disappeared. He spotted one in the back of his hand, but it dissolved right before his eyes. So the others had dissolved, too?
"That fucking demon cursed us," Dante spat, "that's how."
"Agh, this is too weird," Nero whined, clutching his head in one hand.
"Quit your whining, kid," said Dante, which both hunters found odd coming from Nero's body. "We need to think of a plan."
"I'm gonna go call Tri—"
"No!"
Nero recoiled when Dante was suddenly in his face. "What?"
"You can't tell Trish... or Lady."
"Why the Hell not?" shrieked Nero.
"If they find out about this, they'll never let me live it down."
"What? Are you seriously being this petty in this kind- situation?"
"I'm not being petty. They'll make fun of me, and Lady will start chargin—"
"I'm calling Trish right now," Nero declared simply, turning to walk from the room. He was stopped dead in his tracks when Dante latched both hands around his ankle.
"Please don't tell!"
"Goddamit, Dante! You're acting like a child!"
Nero glared down at the hunter, who peeked around his leg, giving him puppy dog eyes, which Nero was ashamed to see on his own face. He bore holes into the other's eyes for a moment before a sigh erupted from his lips. Rolling his eyes, Nero tossed his head back and groaned through grit teeth.
"Fine, but you better work your ass of to find some kinda solution, or I swear, I'll call her."
"Thank you," Dante chirped, kissing Nero's leg.
Nero sneered in disgust, kicking the hunter off his leg. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the floor for a moment before his nakedness suddenly dawned on him, and he blushed. It was absurd to care about the state of undress of a body that wasn't his own.
"So what're we gonna do?"
Dante stared off at the floor, tapping a finger on his chin as he thought of an answer. He hummed pensively, furrowing his brow in concentration. "Okay, let's just take some time to think," he suggested. "I'll look through the books I've got in the cellar. There's bound to be some answers in one o' those."
Nero nodded. He quickly fled to Dante's room to get dressed. Wearing Dante's clothes was incredibly awkward, but he knew none of his own clothes would fit properly. He struggled to put Dante's odd gloves on that seemed to be full of more holes than necessary. He also suffered a moment of uncertainty in slipping on the chaps Dante always wore, but he was relieved to find they were secured in mostly the same fashion as his holsters. When Nero made his way downstairs, he nearly used his face as a sled down the stairwell and just managed to catch himself before he fell forward. He was still unaccustomed to controlling Dante's body. Nero scowled when he found Dante sitting behind his desk, completely dressed as if the task was effortless.
Overachiever, Nero grumbled inwardly.
Dante, already reading a book propped open on his desk, glanced at Nero with an expression that said the whole situation was just as strange for him. That satisfied Nero, somewhat. He thumped across the room, about to reach for Red Queen when Dante stopped him. Nero looked at him questioningly.
"If Lady or Trish sees you with that, they're gonna think somethin's up," he said.
Breathing a deeo sigh, Nero instead hefted Rebellion onto his back and started toward the doors with Ebony and Ivory in hand.
"Hey, wait," called Dante, "where are you going?"
"I'm gonna hunt some demons."
"I thought we were gonna think this shit through? Try t'figure something out?"
"Yeah, well, I do my best thinking when doing what I do best," Nero stated matter-of-factly. Dante simply watched him go, unsure of what to say, and before he could think of something, Nero had disappeared beyond the doors of Devil May Cry, the panels swinging closed behind him.
A/N: I'm sorry this took so long! I posted this on dA quite awhile back after I finished it, and I intended to put it up on here, but I guess I forgot. I hope at least some of you got to read it on dA, but if you didn't, I apologize for the wait.