She was shamed, ill with guilt, stomach clenching angrily at the thought. Bile rising in her throat, it was like some virus, eating away at her perfectly made up face. She loved Spike. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was Poker Alice for fuck's sake, she went around breaking hearts not the other way around. And now this.
She wondered what he would say if he ever found out, probably laugh in her face, or slap her hard and tell her to get the fuck over it. Either way she was sure that any of his actions would do much to dull her feelings. She was in love with him, and she would love him forever. Even if in the end she died a lonely woman.
How sad, the infamous Faye Valentine in love with some poor jerk who couldn't get over his dead girlfriend, yet it still didn't make it any less true. Feelings were fickle like that, one minute she hated his guts and the next she was willing to lay her life on the line for his. And besides who was he to tell her what she felt wasn't real? Fuck him.
Fuck him and his hypocrisy.