/AN: I changed my mind. This is going to be a three part story. I change my mind often apparently, as I also changed the title. Anyway, here's part two.

Disclaimer: I don't own The 100. /

Clarke s POV

Sneaking back into Camp Jaha had been easy. Murphy had been keeping a close eye on the exposed part of the gate. He had given us the all clear when we were returning to camp. Sneaking past Abby, however, was a different story.

I tiptoed past Abby's personal bunk, just down the row from where my own personal set up was. My heart pounded in my chest. All I could think about was Anya telling me how loudly I tramped through the forest. I put all of my concentration into stepping lightly and maneuvering around twigs and loose gravel that would give me away.

In truth, it wasn't that late, but it was late enough that Abby would be retired to her designated sleeping area. However, for civilians, curfew was sundown. If I was caught now, I'd be seized and given a punishment. Ten lashings from the electric rod, most likely. I rolled my eyes at the thought. Ever since Finn's death, Raven, Bellamy, myself, and few of the other one hundred that were left, not including Octavia and Murphy, had been filed under damaged goods and lumped in with the civilians.

I guess it's not all bad. The rest of the camp wanted to see us put on trial for treason. After all, assisting a war criminal in his escape was a capital offense. Thankfully, Abby and the other two council members disagreed. The three of us were too important to be disposed of. And yet, here we were, being forced to sit around and do nothing.

Octavia, on the other hand, was being taught the native language of the grounders. She would be imperative in gaining their trust for the strengthening of the new truce. Murphy was good with a gun and he, along with Octavia, had been the only one who hadn't been caught trying to help Finn. In the eyes of the camp leaders, we needed man power, and from where they were standing, Murphy had it. He was the perfect soldier. Someone who wouldn't get blinded by friendship. Good riddance.

Finally, I made it back to my tent with little more than a sigh or two. I collapsed into my hammock roll, eager to sleep for once, despite the nightmares that had been plaguing my dreamscape.

"Enjoy your night out on the town?" I flinched and spun so that I could see the rest of my makeshift room. I couldn't see much in the dim light, but from what I could make our there was a female silhouette sitting at the foot of my bed. I rolled my eyes in annoyance.

How could I have missed my mother sitting there? I mean, it was dark, but it wasn't that dark. I sighed. "Mom, what the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed or something?" Heaven knew, that's where I wanted to be right now. Oh, wait.

"I came to check up on you after dinner. I figured you must still be feeling sick so, I brought you a plate so that you could have it if you wanted something later. When I saw that you weren't in your tent I went looking around the camp only to discover that no one had seen you since around sundown. That's when I noticed that Bellamy and Raven were conveniently missing as well. So my question still stands: where did you and your friends go? Abby stared me down in the darkness. She held a slightly annoyed tone in her voice, but there was a certain tightness to it that told me that she was genuinely worried for my well being.

At this point in time, I didn't care how badly she worried about me. "How do I know I won't be treated more like a child once I know the answer?" I spat. My mother was a big part of the reason that I had been put on the civilian list. Just thinking about it made the pit of fury that had been laying dormant in my stomach boil over. I'd been holding in my frustrations with her for way too long.

"Don't answer a question with a question, Clarke." Abby replied, seemingly unfazed by my response.

I didn't answer. Maybe I was being childish, but after all that had happened, I felt that I had a right to be. At least for a short time. Abby had lied to me and manipulated me, far too many times. While she was still my mother, there were just some things that she didn't have a right to. Knowing about Finn's wake was one of them.

Abby gave a frustrated sigh. "Fine, you don't want to talk? Whatever. The least you can do is eat." She shoved a plate of food toward me, clearly fed up with the attitude that I was giving her. Not that I cared.

Cautiously, I looked at the food on the plate. It was cold by now, so it wasn't giving off much of an odor, which I was thankful for. I was honestly tired of how many times I had gotten sick the last couple weeks. There wasn't much on the plate, enough rations for one person. On one side, there were some sort of dark colored berries and on the other, was whatever game had been caught recently. Off to the side there was also a fatty, protein filled paste that had been provided by the grounders. We had been told that it was used to store fat and stock pile energy for the coming winter.

My eyes returned to the woman standing in front of me. "Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm not hungry." It was the truth. Just the thought of putting something in my mouth was enough to make my gag reflex kick in.

"That's what you've said for the last week. You've hardly eaten anything since Finn died, and when you do eat it just gets tossed back up. I don't know what to think here, Clarke. You don't talk to me anymore so all I'm left with is my speculations. I mean are you purposely starving yourself, intentionally puking? Are you sick?"

I stared at her in shock, unable to wrap my mind around my own mother thinking such a thing. Then again, it was Abby. "You think I'm intentionally making myself sick? What the hell mom?"

She looked exasperated. "After Finn-"

I could swear that my heart almost stopped. My chest tightened. "'After Finn,' what?" I cut her off before she could continue. As much as I tried to control it, my voice trembled as I spoke. God, when did I become so weak? I continued, not giving Abby a chance to speak again.

"I killed Finn. I did that. I did not lose every bit of my sanity because of it. I miss him deeply and at times I regret and even over think my decision, but I will not be talked to as if I were a child. I have been through too much and survived too many things to be cast aside like a love sick teenager who has no idea what she's doing.

I heard Abby try to speak, but I didn't want to stick around to hear it. My head was spinning with rage and all I knew was that I had to get out of there. I exited the tent and started walking. I had no idea where my feet were taking me, but I figured it didn't matter.

Before I knew it, I had made it all the way across camp and found myself standing in front of Bellamy's tent. I didn't hesitate before walking inside.

He must've heard me come in because as soon as I entered, he removed his arm from its resting spot across his eyes. A look of confusion clouded over his features. "Clarke? Bellamy rubbed his eyes, trying to get them to refocus. What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

"Can I crash here tonight? I don't feel like dealing with Chancellor Griffin right now," I explained. I was slightly surprised at the amount of venom that my words held. Was I really that hateful? I was too tired to think on it, so I pushed it out of my mind for the time being.

Bellamy sat up and looked at me with careful eyes. "Um, yeah. Sure, I don't mind." He stood and raised a hand to the bed that he had just been laying on. "You can take the cot if you want."

I shook my head and took a seat on the ground. "No, I just needed a safe haven for the night. You can keep your bed."

"I insist," Bellamy replied. His brow was furrowed in seriousness and his eyes held a haziness that said he was exhausted, probably as much physically as he was mentally.

When I didn't move from my spot in the dirt, Bellamy grabbed an extra bed roll from a spot in the corner and laid it out flat on the ground before stretching out on it.

I watched wordlessly, rolling my eyes a little at his actions. He had never been so chivalrous to me before. It seemed a little ridiculous to start now. I sighed. If he was going to insist on giving up his bed for me, who was I to argue? I laid on the bed and thanked Bellamy before being claimed by sleep.

The next morning, I woke early, thankfully before Bellamy, and made my way across camp. The sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon. The grass and leaves were still wet with dew and the forest surrounding the camp lit up with its fluorescent blues and greens.

I had gotten up at just the right time. The rest of the compound would still be asleep, which meant the medical tent would be empty. No one would be there to see me sneak in or out.

I walked through the establishment as quickly and quietly as possible, trying to draw little attention to myself. I tore open the flap to the tent and began searching for the item that I needed. To any other civilian, looking through my mother's medical supplies would've been hell, but I was well versed in my mother's organizational system, so I was able to find the object of interest with ease. I stuffed the plastic wrapped instrument inside my pack and headed back across camp.

I briskly walked down the row of tents until I found the one I was looking for. Murphy was laying haphazardly on his bunk snoring away without a care in the world. In this light, and at this angle, he almost looked innocent. Almost.

"Murphy," the name came out as a whisper. He continued snoring. I sighed. This was going to be no easy feat. I knelt down and shook Murphy's shoulder. "Murphy!" I tried again, not daring to raise my voice higher than an octave or two.

This time, Murphy flinched awake and scooted back on his cot. "Holy fuck, Clarke, what the fuck is your problem?" One hand clutched at his chest as he tried to regulate his breathing in an attempt to pick up the shattered pieces of his dignity.

I hesitated. Was I really going to ask this of Murphy, of all people? I thought for a moment, weighing my options. I decided that I really didn t have a choice. Drastic times called for drastic measures. "I need to ask a favor..."

The boy in front of me deadpanned. "I can't put down another section of gate if that's what you're asking me. I almost got caught last time. I'm not losing my guard position so you can go and do whatever. Now if you don 't mind, I've had a long night." Murphy attempted to lay back down, but I grabbed his arm.

"Would you stop being selfish for once in your miserable life and listen to me?" Murphy's arrogant selfishness caused my resolve to harden pretty quickly. I didn't have time for his bull shit. I had to get out of here before my mom woke up and came looking for me.

Murphy sighed and looked at me with a slight glare. "I'm listening, princess," he replied.

Tears pricked my eyes when the bittersweet nickname reached my ears. Pull yourself together, Clarke. You can't keep losing it like this. I thought to myself. With a sigh, I pushed the tears back from my eyes. "I need you to walk me through the gates. Say that you're escorting me to meet with Lexa."

"And just why would I do that?"

"Because I believe that somewhere deep down in that pitch black soul of yours, you're a good person, John Murphy." I said, hoping that would work. Unfortunately, Murphy usually wasn't one for flattery.

"Good person or not, I'm going back to sleep. Goodnight, Clarke." Murphy rolled over, probably with every intent on ignoring me until I went away.

"Damn it, Murphy!" I didn't think physical violence would work. That would only piss him off. So tried the next best thing instead. I dropped to my knees.

"This may be the most important thing you ever help anyone do. Please, I need your help." Begging was a new low for me. I knew that. But if it would get Murphy to help me, then I didn't mind it.

Murphy turned slightly to glance at me. "Did I just hear the princess beg me, of all people, to help her?"

I looked back at him earnestly. "You're my only chance..."

The desperation must've shown in my voice because Murphy rolled his eyes and sat up with a sigh. "Fine, you've got my attention." He began pulling on his boots. And then he looked at me with the most serious look I've ever seen. "But if we get caught, mark my words, I will kill you."

I nodded and rose to my feet. "I don't doubt it." Murphy finished getting dressed and then lead us out of the tent and to the front of the camp.

A guard stopped us. "Name and ID, please." He held a scanner in his hand

"John Murphy," Murphy replied, as he held out his right wrist. He continued speaking as the guard scanned over the spot in his wrist where the Ark's ID chips were located. "I'm escorting Miss Griffin outside of the camp on the orders of Chancellor Griffin." I stared slightly open mouthed at Murphy. What was he doing? That wasn't the plan...

The other guard inquired further. "What's outside of the camp that Miss Griffin needs an escort for?"

Murphy's jaw visibly tightened. It was easy to see that he was nervous. And rightly so. "Chancellor Griffin has decided that Clarke should spend an hour by herself each morning so that she can recover from recent events. I've been assigned as her escort." He was a really good liar. I briefly wondered how he came upon the trait before dismissing the thought. It wasn't important.

The guard hesitated for a moment before opening the gate. "You have two hours. Make it quick."

Murphy nodded and guided me from camp. I felt a heavy weight lift off my shoulders as I exhaled a breath that I didn't realize I was holding. I guess Murphy wasn't the only one who was on edge.

"Now that we're out here, do you want to tell me what this is about?" Murphy's voice cut through my thoughts like butter. Crap. I knew he was going to be a stubborn asshole, but I hadn't counted on him asking questions.

I shook her head and continued walking. "Follow me," I replied, ignoring Murphy's protests.

"Woah, I don't think so, princess. I got you out here, now I'm not going another step until you tell me what's going on." Murphy stood his ground. I inwardly groaned and contemplated the pros and cons of telling him what I was doing. For now, I would lie. He didn't need to know just yet.

"I just needed some time alone. I'm getting a lot of pressure from my mom. And I needed some familiar surroundings." Well. It was partially true.

Murphy ran a hand through his brown hair and glared. "I'm risking my badge because you needed some figurative air?"

I continued walking. "Essentially."

"Great..." Murphy followed, keeping a steady pace behind me.

We made it to our destination in record time. To anyone else, it probably would've looked like a random spot in the forest, but I recognized the entrance to the bunker almost immediately. I dropped to the ground and pulled out my stolen equipment from the medical tent.

"Here, hold this." I said, handing my back pack to Murphy.

I heard him growl and say, "I did not sign up to be a pack mule, damn it." I disappeared into the bunker before he could argue anymore.

The bunker hadn't changed much since I last visited. Bellamy came here the day after Finn died and cleared out the body that had been here. He had tried to clean up the blood the best he could, but the stain still remained. At the very least, there was no lingering smell. For that, I was thankful.

I sat on the couch slowly, and turned the medical instrument over in my hands, removing it from its plastic wrapping. Ten minutes, that's all it took for the results to appear. I wasn't sure I was ready to know.

Before I could talk myself out of it, I uncapped one end and stabbed the short needle into the fleshy part of my forearm, then threw the lancet to the other side of the couch. I didn't want to look at it anymore. I put my head in my hands and tried to block out the tornado of thoughts that was continuously ramming into my brain.

I don't know how long I sat there. It must've been a while though, because the next thing I knew, I heard Murphy stomping on the entrance to the bunker. "Come on, Clarke. I don't know what you're doing but I'm tired of waiting out here."

I didn't realize that I was crying until I pulled my hands away from my face and discovered that they were wet. I wiped them on my pants and used the sleeve of my jacket to clear the tears from my face. I hated being this emotional.

Cautiously, I reached for the test. I held it in my hands, refusing to look at it. In all reality, I already knew what the test would say. I wasn't dumb. But I needed proof before I could proceed with what to do. Taking a deep breath, I glanced at the tiny screen on the plastic part of the syringe.

One tiny word glared back at me, confirming the thoughts that had been running through my head all along. I sighed and then briefly placed my palm to my abdomen, thinking about all of the crap I had put this little life through, and all the crap still to come. It must be strong to have survived so much in such a short time.

I let my hand drop to my side and climbed the ladder leading back to the surface. The sun had finally risen into the sky drying up the remaining wetness of the night before, and dousing out the blue glow that the darkness of the forest brought. Murphy had his arms crossed and was glaring at a tree. I rolled my eyes. Was he ever in a good mood? Ignoring the thought, I made my way over to him and picked my pack up off of the ground.

"I'm ready to go," I said, a lot calmer than I felt.

"I'm not. Enough with the secrecy. I want to know what's going on and I want to know now." Murphy replied.

He had done his job, done everything I asked of him. He deserved an actual answer. Slowly, I raised the plastic piece that was in my hand so that it was at eye level.

Murphy stared blankly back at it, unsure of what it was. "I'm guessing this holds some sort of significance in Clarke land?"

I hesitated, looking at the object. "...It's a test..." I said, finally.

Murphy scoffed. "Okay, I'll bite. A test for what? Princess catch an STD?"

I deadpanned. "No, Murphy. That's just you." I was tolerating none of his snark today.

Murphy rolled his eyes. "A test for what then? You've gotta give me something. I'm risking my ass for you. The least you can do is tell me why."

A lump had formed in the back of my throat and I couldn't speak. Instead I just held out the syringe, avoiding eye contact. This was all becoming too real, too quickly. How could I have let this happen?

I watched as Murphy took the test gingerly in his hands, avoiding the exposed needle point. He turned it around until the side with the screen looked back at him. An amused smile spread across his face.

"Murphy, this isn't funny!" Of course, he would be the one to find amusement in this. I wanted to scream.

"No, this is better than anything I could've thought up. Princess has a bun in the oven. This is hilariously ironic!" He laughed a little and handed the syringe back to me. I took it and shoved it back in my pack. Asshole.

Slowly, the amusement in Murphy's eyes turned into an unrecognizable expression. "Is it Spacewalker's?" He asked.

I nodded, and bit my lip willing myself to stop trembling. Did the tears ever stop? I missed having control over my emotions.

The silence of the forest stretched over the next few minutes. Murphy fidgeted awkwardly in front of me. "So what now?" He seemed about as uncomfortable as I felt. Neither of us had been in this sort of situation before.

I sighed. "Now we go back to the camp and get rid of it..." My reply was simple.

Murphy gave me a look. "That's it?"

"That's it." I started walking back in the direction that we had came. After a few seconds I heard Murphy follow.

This was going to be a long day.

/AN: I think in an odd sense I'm more satisfied with how this chapter turned out than how the first one did. I rewrote this one four different times, though... Anyway part three will be up as soon as possible. -Kit/