I was walking down to Engineering the next morning, with a spring in my step. The Normandy. I still couldn't believe it.
Another thing I couldn't believe? Last night was apparently not a dream.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get her out of my mind, after our little encounter. Part of me was infatuated with her, there was no point denying that. But another part of me knew how inappropriate, and more importantly, unrealistic, this little 'crush' was. She was Commander freakin' Shepard. A war hero. The first human Spectre (Tali had informed me yesterday about that)... and my superior.
*sigh*
This internal debate reminded me of those vids I used to love as a child, where a little angel and a little demon appeared on the hero's shoulder before every decision, trying to influence him.
I chuckled at the memories as I finally reached Engineering. As expected, Tali was already in there, working, along with someone I didn't know.
"Hi. I'm Harry." I introduced myself with a smile.
"Abhishek Pakti." He replied, shaking my hand. "I understand you're new here? Thank god they finally brought in more people." He said, looking at Tali and me. "I'm getting a feeling that we're gonna go through hell trying to catch Saren."
Tali nodded. I noticed her occasionally looking at me, and quickly turning away when I looked back.
We spent the next few hours maintaining various levels, fixing minor problems and thinking of potential improvements.
If what Jeff told me yesterday was true, I would probably be face to face with Jane once again, when she drops by for her daily rounds. She'll probably come by to meet Tali at least, since she's technically a guest. I was simultaneously happy and nervous about that. Would she even remember last night?
As if on cue, the door opened behind us and Commander Shepard walked in. She was in her N7 armor, probably heading out for a mission.
"Shepard!" Tali exclaimed, running up to the commander to have a chat. It was obvious that the shy quarian had really opened up to the Commander. She trusted her.
Who wouldn't? With that face, and that voice….
SHUT UP, BRAIN!
It didn't take long for the Commander to look behind Tali and notice me. I saw her confident demeanour instantly vanish, as her face turned white and eyes were wide open.
She definitely remembers…
Tali noticed this, of course, so she instantly stopped talking and looked back at me. She had already been giving me weird looks since the morning, but now she looked downright suspicious.
I was barely paying attention to Tali though, as I was too busy observing Jane. She just stood there, staring at me. Just like last night, I couldn't read her face. The silence went on for an uncomfortable amount of time.
Abhishek nudged me in the back.
"C-Commander!" I blurted out, with another horrifying attempt at a salute (thankfully better than last night). She looked at me funny, and I could swear I saw the faintest of smiles.
Goofy salutes make her smile. Noted.
"Shepard, that's Harry…" Tali began.
Without listening to her, Jane composed herself and immediately started walking towards me.
"Let's talk outside." she whispered. Before I could respond she had already turned back and started walking towards the door. I had to break into a slight jog to catch up to her.
As soon as the door closed behind us, she immediately turned towards me, and tried to find something to say.
I spoke first. "Ma'am, about last night…"
"Did anything happen?" she asked, with a blank face.
Huh?
"I don't follow…"
"I think you know exactly what I mean, Douglas." She stated, her voice getting increasingly worried.
I genuinely did not know what she meant. Wait, is she talking about…
"We just shared a… snack near the kitchen, ma'am. Then we drank… something… to celebrate my birthday. That's all that happened." I tried to sound as reassuring as possible. Did she actually think we… Why would she?
"Well, that's a relief." She looked at me with those green eyes and smiled once again, and my heart fluttered. "I am sorry though. I was incredibly unprofessional. For the record, I don't spend the nights drinking away in the crew deck. You caught me at a bad time. I was not in a good place..." For the first time, I saw her break eye contact and look down.
"No need to apologise ma'am." I smiled. "Actually, thanks, for sharing that drink with me. I.. didn't have any friends to celebrate with."
"No problem, Douglas. Happy Birthday." She tapped me on the shoulder and winked. I tried my best to not melt into the ground.
I saw her walking away towards the elevator.
"Commander?"
"Yes?"
"I know it's none of my business. But if you ever want to talk about anything.. if something's bothering you. Maybe I can help."
She didn't turn back to face me. "You're right, Douglas. It's none of your business. Get back to work."
"Y-yes, ma'am. I'm sor..."
The elevator doors had closed already.
Shit.