Chapter 2 Locked from the Inside Part 1

Zuko paced back and forth. His head was racing with all the things that had happened over the past few months. Mai had come to stay with him in the palace. She slept in the next room most nights, but lately she had been sleeping in Zuko's room. His footsteps tapped on the marble floor. If Mai didn't come back soon he was going to start running just to take away the stress. He stopped suddenly. The door had opened, revealing one of Mai's servants. "Sir," the servant said meekly, "The lady wishes me to tell you that she will arrive shortly."

Zuko nodded and went back to pacing. How could this have happened? They were very careful about contraceptive herbs. "Zuko?" Mai asked walking into the room.

His head shot up at the sound of her voice. Instantly he crossed the room and took her into his arms. "What is it?" he asked.

Mai shook her head. "It's alright. The physician just confirmed that I'm not pregnant."

Zuko gave a great sigh of relief. For two months he had been worrying about what he was going to do if Mai was pregnant. It wasn't that he did not want children. Far from it, but before he even considered the thought of marriage, he had to find his mother. It wasn't fair for her to miss out on the life of her first grandchild, especially after being banished from her own son's side. Mai gave a heavy sigh and practically fell into the chair next to her. Zuko looked at his lover. "What is it?" he asked.

Mai shook her head. "Zuko did you even think for an instant that I might want to actually have a baby?!" she demanded.

Zuko's face fell. He turned to Mai. Her eyes flashed dangerously, but the harshness that was there faded quickly into sadness. "For five years I have been at your side," she explained, "For five years I have been waiting for a proposal. When I didn't recieve that I wanted something else. A baby."

Zuko placed his hand on her shoulder. "Mai, I know I've been putting off everything, even an explination, but I need you to understand. I just can't propose to you right now. Not without my mother."

"Then why don't you go look for her?" Mai asked. "I mean you have had five years. How do you even know that she is still alive? Don't you think that she would have heard that you are Fire Lord by now, and come back to the Fire Nation?"

Zuko felt his blood begin to boil. "Do not ever speak about my mother like that again."

Mai stood up from her seat. "How can you keep convincing yourself that your mother is still alive? Azula told me herself that she was dead."

Zuko turned away. "Mai," he whispered, "I just want to find her. Alive or not. If she's not then I at least want to find her grave. I want to have a chance to mourn her. But if she's alive I..."

Mai hugged the Fire Lord. "I want you to find her too," she explained, "But putting off more of your life is not something you need to do. You have a nation to rule. And you have your people to think of. Also there are the rebels to think of. I thought you were trying to take care of them as well."

Zuko shook his head. "No, Aang and the others are taking care of it. Every now and then I meet with Aang or Sokka, and they tell me what has been going on."

He sat down on the edge of his bed. "I think about them every day. I wish that I could see them more."

Mai kneeled down next to Zuko's legs. "Then why don't you invite them to come here. Your birthday is approaching. Have a celebration and have them all come. It will be like it was before. All of us could go out into the city and act like we used to."

Zuko smiled. "I do like the sound of that."

Mai stroked his cheek. "I'll send out letters to them."

"No need," Zuko told her, "Only one will do. They are all traveling together."

Mai began to walk from the room. "Where are you going?" Zuko asked.

She turned around and spoke over her shoulder. "To my room," she answered, "After that last scare, I don't think that you could handle another."

The door closed behind her, leaving Zuko alone once again. He stood up from his bed and walked over to his desk. On top of the wooden structure was an ink painting that was five years old. On it was everyone from their trip in Ba Sing Se. His uncle held a small cup of tea, and was sitting on a chair to the far left of the picture. To the right of him was Toph. She was sitting on a tall rock that she had produced from the ground. Next to her was Katara and Aang. Katara was sitting on the ground and Aang had his arms resting on her shoulders. Sokka and Suki stood behind them with their arms wrapped around each other. Next to them was Mai and himself. Mai stood as if it was a formal portrait and he was smiling at the entire group. His family. Without thinking he stroked his finger over Katara's face. A thought crossed his mind. Carefully he folded the picture until only he and Katara remained. For some reason Zuko found this to be comforting. Quietly he rolled the painting up and called for a servant.

"Here," Zuko said handing the folded picture to the young man, "Have the best artist in the capital repaint this picture, and also have him do one of just the two that are folded together."

The servant bowed and left without a word. Zuko began thinking about the kiss he had seen Katara and Aang share before. For the past five years he hadn't thought about it. It still didn't seem right. Something about it was eating away at his mind, but he just couldn't figure it out.