If Time Could Stop

Chapter 2

Everything was a blur. Everything and everyone. Hermione could barely remember how she got back at Hogwarts within half an hour from her departure. Dead bodies lay everywhere she looked and spells were being cast in every direction. She looked around for Harry. He was nowhere to be seen. Ron, she thought then. She had to get to Ron. She charged for the castle, casting a protective spell to anyone who seemed like they needed it and some offensive to anyone who was asking for it. It looked bad, for the good guys. They were outnumbered and hurt. Devastated. She shook her head; there was no room for negative thoughts. She had to hold her head up high and cause as much damage as she could.

Just a few steps away, she noticed Ron. He looked tired but he was fighting all the same. She watched as he pushed a child behind him and took over his opponent. So brave, Ronald Weasley was! She rushed to his side and finished off the anonymous Death Eater Ron had been fighting. His eyes didn't stop surveying the area for the next threat that would come but he managed to throw her a relieved smile. "Glad to see you made it" he said and handed her the child, to escort back inside the castle, no doubt. "Where is Harry?" she asked him and started to worry when he shook his head and admitted, he had absolutely no idea. After those brief words, she didn't allow herself time to think about anything else. Her mind had to be focused on the task at hand; protect the students. And as for the Death Eaters? Give them hell!

And then, when Voldemort had come forth, with his followers and Hagrid, carrying Harry's body in his arms, she thought she would collapse. There was no way all that could be real! Instantly, she started blaming herself. Thinking about the last thing she said to him. The way she abandoned him when she knew-damn it, she knew!- that Ron and herself were all Harry had... She shouted his name out but he didn't even move. Everything they went through in order to defeat Voldemort, it didn't mean a thing... She grabbed Ron's shoulder for support. He looked equally shocked when he placed his arm around her and held her tightly.

After Neville managed to kill Nagini, she felt they might still have a chance and she went on, cursing and protecting and forgetting about her own pain, for Harry's sake. For Harry. To make Harry proud, even in his death. She heard Hagrid ask where Harry was and she apologised to him, quietly, that she couldn't worry about that...

At some point, in the midst of everything, she saw from the corner of her eye, Voldemort, aiming his wand at Mrs. Weasley and everything seemed to slow down, like in a dream, as she realised that he was going to kill her and Hermione felt so useless; her reflexes warned her she hadn't moved fast enough. And there was Harry, alive, protecting them all, once again! Of course, that seemed much more real than his death had! She sighed in relief but she knew it was not over yet.

Hearing Harry's speech, she registered the words "Snape was Dumbledore's" and told herself she had done well, to try and help the professor. She had been fair to him, not knowing the whole truth and still, risking everything for him. Had she done him any good? That remained to be seen. Then, Harry shouted Expelliarmus and it was over. In the blink of an eye... The mighty Voldemort, defeated by such a simple word...Everyone shouted and laughed and hugged each other; she couldn't stop crying. Tears of joy and sorrow, all at once, because the price for their freedom was too great. But they were, finally, free. And she couldn't believe it!

Harry tapped Hermione's shoulder and dragged her out of Snape's memories. Her face was white as a sheet and she was trembling. He shouldn't have shown her all this, right after the battle, he told himself. Maybe it was too much for her to handle. Then again, Hermione had always been much stronger than people thought.

"So... I suppose, an apology is required."he told her.

Hermione shook her head. "I was unfair to you, as well, Harry. I didn't really believe the things I said, back there."she shuddered, remembering his-seemingly-lifeless body in Hagrid's arms. "And to tell you the truth, I acted foolishly. Snape could have been on Voldemort's side. I didn't know what I was doing..."

"Yeah but... If I know one thing, that is to always listen to you because you are always right!"he said with a smile.

"I could have been wrong though..."she argued.

"But you weren't. "Harry insisted. "Did he make it?"he asked, somewhat embarassed by his previous attitude.

"I have no idea..."Hermione whispered. "I left him with a couple of witches, back at Saint Mungo's. I explained all that had happened to them and then got here, as fast as I could. But he didn't seem well, Harry... " She didn't mention how she'd kissed his forehead before rushing out.

"I hope he's alright."he said. "I mean... It would be awful for him to die and never see what he's accomplished, right? If it wasn't for him, we'd probably still be fighting! Or worse..."

"Do you want to go and see him?"Hermione suggested.

"Shouldn't we wait for Ron?"Harry asked.

"Ron has other things on his mind right now."she told him and her heart sank. "He's grieving for his brother, I doubt he'd care much for Snape."

"I suppose... It wouldn't hurt to pop in and ask what happened. Even if the news may be bad, I want to know."he said and they apparated to Saint Mungo's together.

Hermione tried hard to remember at least one of the faces of the witches she had spoken with but it proved to be a challenging task. She must have been much more upset than she'd originally thought. She approached a desk and cleared her throat to draw the nurse's attention. The place was rather quiet, almost like a graveyard.

"Excuse me... Can someone inform us of Professor Snape's state?"she asked timidly.

"Severus Snape? Are you the one who brought him here?"the nurse asked, looking up from her papers.

Hermione had freshened up a bit, after the battle, so normally, no one could make the match between her and the wreck that she had been when she brought Snape in. Somehow, she felt she had to lie to the nurse. Maybe all those months of hiding and sneaking around had taken their toll on her.

"We are his students. We just came from Hogwarts to see if he was any better..."Harry took it upon him to answer.

"Well, he's in there."the nurse pointed to a closed door. "But I doubt he'll make it through the night, children. He was a real mess when that girl brought him in, screaming at us. How she managed to preform that spell on him, is a wonder! She was in a fit!"

Hermione bit her lip. The nurse continued.

"The poor man was bleeding from all sorts of places and what little blood he had left, was filled with poison! We did our best, I can assure you. But only time will tell. If you want to see him, go right ahead, just don't expect much. He's... unresponsive."she said and waved them off.

Harry took Hermione's hand and together, they walked to the door the nurse had pointed to. They both took a deep breath and opened it.

Severus Snape was lying in a bed which looked uncomfortable, to say the least. If it wasn't for his chest moving up and down slowly, Hermione would have thought him dead, for sure. He was more pale than usual and his closed eyelids were a disturbing shade of blue. His fingers twitched every now and then. But he was alive. The only thing that mattered was that he was alive. Hermione reminded herself to breathe. Had she expected him to be up and pacing? Of course not.

Harry approached the bed and looked down at the weak man.

"Listen up, Snape!"he said. "We won, alright? We won! And you were supposed to be there with us. So, stop this nonsense! I expect you to still be alive tomorrow and the day after and for many more years to come! Are we clear on that?"he told Snape and ran out of the room. Hermione went after him.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I just... I can't look at him! He's not the Snape I know! He looks so small and defeated!"he explained.

"It's alright, Harry! Really, I understand. You're exhausted. We can do this another time, don't you worry!"she comforted him.

"What if there is no time? You heard what that nurse said! He might not survive the night!"

"I didn't go through all this trouble for nothing!"she smiled. "I bet he will still be here in the morning. He's nothing, if not stubborn, right? He'll be fine."she told Harry but she wasn't all that certain about the truth of her words. Harry seemed to cheer up a bit, though. And Hermione was glad she could help.

"Let me go in, just for a minute. Then, we can go home and rest. And we'll be back tomorrow."she said.

Hermione closed the door behind her, afraid that a view of Snape might make Harry depressed again. She looked around the room. For some reason, she thought a heart monitor, like the ones they use in muggle hospitals, would be so much comfort. Maybe, hearing the steady beating of his heart, would magically fix everything. She placed her hand on his chest, to feel the subtle movement. Close enough to comfort. Some of the sadness was lifted from her heart. She looked at Snape's face, bruised but peaceful and she sighed. You do look awfully small, don't you?she sent her thought to him. In her mind, she prayed to every saint she could remember from her muggle upbringing. Please, please, please, take care of him! Please, lead him back to us, she cried mentally.

Gradually, her breathing synchronised with his and it gave her a sense of closeness that they never would have had, had he been awake and healthy. Although highly inappropriate ,she felt no need to remove her hand from his body, especially now, that he couldn't remove any house points for indecency. She chuckled.

"Professor Snape"she begun. "You are safe now. No one can cause you any more harm. If you still don't want to stay with us, well, that's okay. You do whatever you want. You don't owe anyone anything... And we owe you so much..."she leaned down and kissed his forehead, the way she had earlier but this time, there was no hurry. She had all the time in the world. Her lips lingered there for a while. Feeling his temperature, she reasoned. Nothing more.

"I owe you everything. My best friends are alive due to your help. Thank you!"she whispered softly, in the space between his temple and his cheek.

"Harry will keep coming back, until you are out of this bed, so you'd better hurry up. Unless you want his company on a daily basis. Somehow, I don't think you do."she attempted a joke and felt a tear run down her nose. "I won't be coming back though. I can't be so cruel to myself... Harry is right. This is not you. You were always so strong and proud and it kills me to see you confined in this stupid bed, in this stupid hospital!"

Hermione removed her hand from his chest, at last, and walked back a few steps. She tried to contain her sobs to a minimum level, as she felt a spark of electricity run through her. She wasn't lying. In fact, she was determined to never look at him again. She had nothing but gratitude for the man-well, maybe a bit of affection. But it was too much for her. Deep down, she wanted him to bounce up, glare at her and tell her to stop her crying. He didn't move. She gave him a few more seconds. Nothing.

"I did my best."she told him in despair. "I did my absolute best, Severus Snape! I'll leave the rest to you. Do not dissapoint me!"

She couldn't bear the lack of response. She rubbed her eyes to stop the tears; she couldn't break down in front of Harry, she simply couldn't. Before opening the door to go back to a world that was alive and kicking, she stopped and took a long look at Severus Snape, the man who had been helping them all along. There was no change in his condition. Why would her words make any difference to him, she thought. He had always despised her.

Hermione said her silent-and final-goodbye and went to meet Harry outside.

A/N: I try to thank everyone for their reviews but some of you have disabled private messaging. So, THANK YOU! I keep your advice in mind.

(I hope everybody likes this so far!)