Suggested Listening: 'Bones' by MS MR

The Department of Magical Law Enforcement had been nothing short of chaos since Sirius and a handful of Aurors and Order members returned from abroad, wanted Death Eaters in tow. Hermione found herself grateful for it all and was more than happy to bury herself beneath a mountain of statements and depositions with a multitude of quills holding back her mass of hair. This was what she wanted. She wanted ink stained fingers and the opportunity to set the world to rights again. And, Morgana, she was going to do it come hell or high water.

"Mione?"

Ron's voice pulled her from her latest highlighting spree and she rolled her chair back from her desk. "Hello," she greeted as she craned her neck around a stack of paper.

"Bloody hell. How do you even move in here?" he asked, a grin lighting up his face as he flopped down in the one chair that she purposely kept cleaned off for guests. She couldn't help but be amused as she watched him try to work out whether or not he could put his boots up on her desk. He decided it was a lost cause and instead balanced his ankle over his knee in what she'd always thought of as a singularly masculine gesture.

"Quite easily, actually," she replied as she tossed her highlighting quill aside and propped her elbows up on her desk, her chin cradled in her ink covered hands. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your company, hmm?"

Ron shrugged, his grin fading in an effort to look innocent. "Can't a bloke come and see his best mate every once in a while?"

"Of course. But you want something, Ronald Weasley. I don't even need to use legilimency to figure that out."

Shifting in his chair, he let out a huff and crossed his arms over his chest. "You can a right pain in the arse, you know that?"

A smile curled over her lips. "So I've been told by various members of this department multiple times. Spill it."

He glanced over his shoulder at her open office door and nodded to himself. "Right," he began as he uncrossed his long legs and scooted his chair as close to her desk as it could. Hermione's brow arched as she watched him. Apparently this was going to be something he would refer to as hush, hush.

"This is hush, hush, Mione," he whispered as he fixed her with an intense gaze. Not for the first time did she regret showing him old Muggle spy films. "Harry is going to propose tonight."

Kicking back in her chair, her legs flailed and one black pump fell to the floor before she pressed herself up against the edge of her desk. A quill slipped from her hair and fell to the desk and some of her wild curls flew free once more, but she didn't care in the slightest. "When? Where? Details, Ron, I need details."

His shoulders shook with silent laughter as he rested his arms atop her desk. "Grimmauld Place, eight o'clock. She thinks it's a late get together for her birthday," he replied. He looked smug, clearly enjoying his role as conspirator. "Mum is already beside herself."

Hermione decided not to think about Molly Weasley in that moment. Once that ring was on Ginny's finger the matchmaking would pick back up again in earnest. She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "I can't believe he's waited even this long. I have expected him to have had the ring on her hand before she and I went back to Hogwarts."

Ron just shrugged. "Dunno. I suppose he just wanted to get settled in. Get used to a world like it is now. He asked Dad's permission and everything. Hell, he even spoke to me and the rest of my brothers. Honestly, I can't believe he didn't send a bloody letter of intent."

Letting out a low whistle, she eased back in her chair. "Harry barely wrote letters while we were in school, I can't see that changing for anything. Even your sister," she gave him a wry smile. "So, eight o'clock?"

"Eight o'clock," he nodded.

"Of course I'll be there."

This was not a mistake, she told herself over and over again as she watched her best friend slip a delicate ring onto the finger of the girl he loved. This was a wonderful, happy moment and they all deserved it. Harry deserved it. But that familiar itching feeling was coming over her again as her friends cheered and offered their congratulations. That feeling that she needed to run, that it wasn't safe. Where were the exits? She couldn't see them. Breathe, Hermione. Breathe.

A warm hand settled over her wrist and she jumped, her eyes almost impossibly wide as she looked up only to see Sirius standing beside her.

"Easy, kitten," he murmured as he carefully pried her fingers free from the fist she'd clenched them into. "Why don't we step outside for a bit? I could use a smoke."

She gave him a nod and he led her out of the overcrowded drawing room. The halls of Grimmauld Place were still dark but in the years that Harry and Sirius had taken up residence they no longer seemed oppressive. The fact that the House Elf heads had been removed helped immensely. Hermione found herself staring at the damask wallpaper as she followed along after the older wizard and the further they got from the noise and crowd the more relaxed she began to feel.

The September air was cool and it was only when they stepped into the back garden that she realized she'd been sweating. She felt so weak in that moment as he gently tugged her down to sit beside him on the steps, and she hated it. Hermione Granger was not weak. She knew that was true, the trouble was that she just felt so bloody lost and that feeling of control was so hard to keep a hold of.

"Stop it," Sirius said, breaking the silence as he placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it. The metal lid of the lighter clacked shut and he shoved it back into the pocket of his jacket. For a moment she found herself staring at the leather, the way it was worn and soft at the elbows and shoulders. It was probably older than her.

"Stop what?" she asked, her voice small.

He took a drag, smoke billowing from his nose seconds later. "Thinking. I swear I can hear the gears in your head from here, kitten," he replied as he turned his head to look down at her.

Hermione let out a hum as she plucked the cigarette from his fingers and placed it between her own lips. Smoking was a disgusting habit but that knowledge didn't stop her from taking a puff anyways. "Does it get better?" she asked as she passed the cigarette back. He had nice hands, she noted, long, slender fingers with just the right amount of roughness.

"No fucking clue," he replied honestly. "Some days are alright, then some are like hell. The trick is trying to find something to ground you. Help you breathe."

Eyes closing, she let her head lean against his shoulder. The smell of smoke and leather clouded her senses and she found herself trying to memorize it. "Some trick," she muttered. "I used to think that work would ground me, and maybe it does every now and then. I even thought that maybe Harry and Ron would, but I can't...I can't do that. I can't do that to them."

Sirius was quiet as he flicked away the ash at the end of his cigarette. With his free hand he pulled out the side of his jacket and wrapped it around her, tugging her closer to his chest. "I know, kitten," he said and she knew that he meant it. She suspected that he'd clung onto the memory of James for so long that he'd tried to ground himself with Harry. But he couldn't, not when he realized that they were separate beings and that no matter how much he wanted James to be there again he wouldn't.

Hermione couldn't imagine it, losing a friend as close as that. The thought alone was enough to make her breath catch in her throat and it had often played a part in her nightmares. She pressed herself closer to the wizard. It was the cold, she told herself. Or maybe it was just the need for human contact.

"Have you found it? Something to ground you?" she asked as she held her hand out.

"No, not yet," he replied as he placed the cigarette between her fingers. "I think my bad habits are rubbing off on you, kitten."

She let out a soft snort before taking a short drag and handing it back. "It's always about you isn't it, Black?"

He laughed as he flicked the cigarette away. "You know it, Granger,"

The corners of her mouth curled up into a smile as she opened her eyes once more. "I think I prefer it when you call me kitten," she said as she watched the orange light of burning paper and tobacco slowly burn out.

"I think I do, too, kitten."

Harry had found them a little while later, the odd pair huddled together on the back step with a few discarded cigarette butts at their feet. Hermione vaguely wondered what he was thinking but it somehow didn't seem important, especially not after she'd stood and pulled her best friend into a hug.

"I'm so happy for you, Harry," she said as she balanced on the toes of her shoes, her arms still wrapped around his neck.

"Thank you, Mione," he replied as he gave her a squeeze. Pulling away he settled her back down on her feet and held her at arms length. He was scrutinizing her, looking her over as if she was physically hurt. "Too loud in there?"

She nodded. "Just needed some air."

His gaze cut over to his godfather. Sirius had gotten to his feet and was leaning back against the porch's cast iron railing, his posture oozing a sort of aristocratic air that it seemed only a Black was capable of. Some sort of silent communication seemed to pass between the two of them and the older wizard gave his godson a small nod.

Clearing her throat, Hermione stepped back and wrapped her arms around herself. She suddenly missed the warmth of Sirius' jacket, and the body beneath it. "I think I'll go and put the kettle on. It's bloody cold out," she said with a small smile.

Sirius gave her a smile in return. "Go on, kitten. We'll be along in a bit."

Glancing between the two of them, she nodded and slipped back inside. The warmth of Grimauld Place quickly seeped inside of her and for a moment she just stood there, eyes closed, as she waited for her shivering to subside.

"You got her out, didn't you?" The sound of Harry's muffled voice on the other side of the door drew her attention. She stood stock still in the hall, her gaze fixed on the brass door handle. Sirius must have nodded because she didn't hear a reply until Harry's voice broke the lull: "Thank you."

It would never really heal, she known that almost as soon as the blade had touched her skin. Her fingers curled and uncurled themselves, the tendons beneath her skin flexing with the movement. The letters were still an angry red, the color a sharp contrast to her pale skin. It was a constant reminder of what she'd survived. Not just the torture, but the prejudice as well- for the most part at least.

Dropping her arm down to her side, she grabbed her robe from its hook and tugged it around herself before stepping out of the bathroom. Stream followed after her as she padded over the thick carpet to her wardrobe. Part of her didn't want to do this, to sit in a cavernous courtroom and give her testimony. But it was a step. A step forward and maybe, just maybe, it would lessen the nightmares she had.

In the weeks since Harry and Ginny's engagement Hermione had managed to keep herself quite busy at work. Trails seemed to be happening daily and the paperwork never seemed to cease. The hectic pace was good, she had decided, and it kept her mind occupied. It all seemed to be a big lead up, though, and she tried and tried to put off the inevitable for as long as she could.

Antonin Dolohov would sit before the Wizengamot in a few hours and she would be called to the witness stand. She'd often heard it said that you never forget your first kiss, the same could easily be said for your first battle scar. The jagged line that crossed her torso and stretched up to her shoulder had been the result of that man's curse, a curse that was nameless and seemed to be of his own creation. Morgana, she'd only been sixteen years old.

Mouth set into a thin line, she shoved aside garments in her closet in an effort to find something suitable to wear. What was appropriate when witnessing against a tall prick who seemed to follow her around during the lead up to the Second Wizarding War's climax? Certainly not pastels.

The sound of the Floo activating in the other room drew her attention and she tossed the somber gray wrap dress she'd been holding onto the bed. She pulled the robe tight around her and cinched it close as she made her way down the hall. Crookshanks came from, seemingly, out of nowhere and ran past her, nearly knocking her over. The half Kneazle's excitement could only mean one thing.

"Morning, kitten."

Arms crossed beneath her chest, she leaned in the door way. "To what do I owe this pleasure?" she asked as she regarded him with a small smile. For a moment he just stared at her, his shoulders slowly relaxing as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks. This was the first time she'd seen him in something other than jeans, she was sure of it, and she could easily admit to herself that she could get used to the sight.

"Seems I'm your date for the day," he replied as he rocked back on his heels. "Harry is on Azkaban escort duty, so he asked me to go in with you."

Hermione nodded and pushed her still damp curls back from her face. Harry was making sure she didn't run. Her mouth pressed into a thin line as her annoyance began to rise. Of course she'd be there, she was a key witness after all. Magic crackled around her and she closed her eyes as she tried to breathe.

A moment later she felt his hands on her, smoothing over her terry cloth covered arms. "Easy, kitten," he murmured and she was sure that she could feel his breath on her cheek. "None of that now. Come on, you need to finish getting ready and I'll make you a cup of tea, yeah?"

"Yeah," she breathed, her tongue darting out over her suddenly dry lips. "Yeah."

Pressing his lips to the top of her head, he gave her a gentle push towards her room. She let her feet simply carry her on and she knew that he was watching her. Whether it was because he was concerned or if it was something else she didn't know. The truth was that she didn't want to get her hopes up.

A big thank you to starrnobella for being amazing and betaing this chapter for me. And thank you, yes you, for taking time to read this story. Please leave me a review and let me know what you think as I'd love to hear from you all.

Xx