Brother: wow you actually got reviews!
Me: I know right? Two in 24 hours!
Brother: So you're going through with it?
Me: does the pope shit in the woods?
Brother: The fuck would I know?
Me: Is your girl a hoe?
Brother: She's not a hoe! She's a stripper!
Me: She still a whore XD
Brother: Just get on with the fucking story!
Me: Okay fine. Disclaimer if you please
Brother: The following is a non-profit fan based parody. Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z, And-
Me: WRONG ONE DUMB FUCK!
Brother: Oh yeah…whoops….WE DO NOT OWN ZELDA…it's fucking stupid we gotta put that on there . No fucking shit we don't own it
Me: I know but hey it's the rules. GENIE SAYS ON WITH THE SHOW!
Both: HOCUS POCUS JOKERS GREAT MILENKO!

Narrator: Link rode through Hyrule Field to Lon Lon Ranch. The Field was very peaceful tonight.

The stars were beautiful as they twinkled in the early dawn with the sun starting to rise to shine them away. The moon was still visible and was slowly setting. He was almost at the Ranch. Link experience a twisting in his stomach as he approached the ranch. He knew what to expect almost.

Malon always did have a temper and once he told her why he took Epona and that it was him who wanted her, she would be furious with him. He kept wondering what she would look like. It's been so long since his journey through time when they were both adults. He wondered if the timeline change will change her appearance too. Maybe something would have happened and she was caught in an accident and died. His stomach churned worse at that though.

It was around noon when he finally entered the ranch. He rode his horse with his cloak on and into the ranch and into the enclosure. Sure enough, there was Malon in the middle talking to the horses. He wanted to know what she was saying. He got off Epona and hid her by the stables and put on the stone's mask he got many years ago from the soldier in Termina. He walked over to her and, with the power of the stone's mask, listened in on her conversation.

"Where is he Tio? It's been so long all these years without a mention. Not only is he gone, but so is Epona. I've been so lonely with nobody here to help me. Is it sad that I still await his return? I must be a fool. He's a hero and I am just a farm girl. If only there was some sign he would return soon…" She said as tears began to fall down Malon's face. Link left the enclosure and took off the mask and stroked Epona's face. "She does miss you and me. I think it will be okay for us to go. But I'm still worrying about telling her the truth…I know she misses me but…I don't know. Goddesses…why does this have to be so hard?" Epona nudged his hand playfully and he got on top of his horse once more.

He went to the end of the stable and looked in at Malon. He had no doubt it was definitely her now he heard her speak of Epona and an old friend who was a hero. She looked more beautiful then he could Imagine. She had flaming red hair, porcelain milky white skin, and eyes blue as the sea. She was without a doubt the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. She wanted a sign. He was more then happy to give it to her. As he approached the enclosure with the hood of his cloak up he pulled out his ocarina while riding Epona slowly into the enclosure and plays Epona's Song. Malon's eyes looked up and saw the stranger on the horse. She quickly approached the red horse and the stranger in a green cloak. There was something familiar about their presence.

"Where did you learn that song stranger?" she asked. Link hopped off Epona and said. "You taught me. Many years ago, Malon." Malon's eyes grew wide. "It….It couldn't be…are you really…" Link nodded. "I'm back Malon. It's me, Link. And this horse here is Epona. She's grown a lot over the years and has been very useful to me in my quest." Malon started to cry and hug Link tightly. "I missed you so much!" She cried. Link was about to hug her back. Without a second notice, Malon's hand flew to Link's face and she slapped him so hard he almost fell to the ground. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING?" She screamed. Link stood there. There was no excuse for his actions. He knew. "But you came back. Where have you been?" she asked starting to cry again.

"I'll tell you later. Epona and I are tired we had a long journey. Do you mind if we stay in the stables tonight? I'll tell you everything tonight." Malon nodded her head and agreed. Link hopped back onto his horse. "So long Malon. I will be back tonight I have to speak with the princess." Malon threw a fit. "But you just got here! Knowing you, you will set on a new quest after you speak to her!" Link shook his head. "No Malon. No more quests. I will explain later tonight. I promise on my life I will be back tonight." And with that Link rode to Hyrule Castle.

He finally got to the castle and was stopped at the gates. "My name is Link. Hero of Time. I must speak with the princess." The guard laughed at him. "Bullshit! We see 80 Links in one day. Don't we Nicholas? How can you prove you're the real one." Link remembered Nicholas and said. "Nicholas calls me Mr. Hero. We first met at Death Mountain road and I got him this job here. I also sold a keaton mask to him for his son." Nicholas raised his spear and hit the ground to open the gate. "Welcome home, 'Mr. Hero'." He said smiling. 'At least he remembered me' Link thought to himself.

He finally entered into the throne room and saw Zelda seated next to her father. "What business have you have here?" The king said. "Daphne's it's been too long. How are you?" The King stood up. "You dare call me by my first-…." He started to look at Link closer. Zelda stood up as well. "Link!" She screamed and rushed to him and hugged him. "It's been too long!" she said. "Yes. It has been Link. I didn't recognize you. Sorry I snapped at you. I think I might be becoming senile in my old age." The king said chuckling. Link hugged Zelda and told her all about his journey as they walked through the courtyard.

"Wow. So what are you going to do now?" She asked. "Don't know." He said. "I might try to get hired at the ranch." Zelda chuckled. "Bet you will love that. I hear they have been looking for farm hands. There business is booming of late, ever since Kakariko has been completed. It's almost rivaling the Castle Town in economics." Zelda continued to walk with Link. "Link…did you know I'm getting married soon?" Link stopped walking and he looked at her. "What's his name?" he asked. "His name is Eric Draven, he's from Termina. He knows you, or at least of you. You're somewhat of a legend there." Link chuckled. "Can't say I met him. Is he a good man?" Zelda nodded. "Yes. He reminds me of you. He hates being a prince, he wants to be a hero like you and help people. He is a bit of a goof but he is very kind and romantic. I think he will be a good king for Hyrule."

Zelda put her hands on Link's shoulder. "I wanted to know if you will become our royal vizier. You don't have to be here all the time just when we summon you. And we can try to make it not so often so you can spend your time at the ranch." Link thought hard about it. "Why me though?" Zelda laughed a bit. "Because everyone loves you. They will feel more comfortable with the royal family knowing you are with us to pass judgement. They know you are kind and fair." Link nodded his head. "Yeah, I will do it." Zelda hugged him and thanked him.

"Sorry Zelda I must be off. I promised Malon I would return before the sun went down. He gave Zelda one last hug and departed for the ranch. When he finally got to the ranch, the sun was almost totally down. He arrived at the ranch and pulled off his cloak. He walked Epona into the stable where he saw Malon. She lunged onto Link and hugged him and Epona. "Now please tell me everything!" she screamed.

Link sat down at the table she put out for them. There were two plates of food. She stroked Epona's face. "I missed you girl." Epona laid on the ground and Malon cuddled up next to her. Link told Malon of everything. "Wow. It seems like someone has been busy. Why did you come here though?" Link's face reddened and he stammered a bit. "I had to return Epona. Also Malon there is another thing. I was thinking. Since the battles have all been fought and the only battles fought now are in the courts. I was wondering if I could stay here at the ranch with you and your family. I'd be a good ranch hand. And I need a place to stay so you can take room and board out of my pay."

Malon thought for a moment. "I'm not really the person to ask Link…" All of a sudden Talon opened the door. He was armed with a pitchfork and hasn't changed a bit. "You mother fucker Ingo! I told you never to show your- …. Oh hi there. Sorry, thought you were Ingo. Who are you?" he said. "Speak of the devil." Malon said. "Dad you remember Link?" Talon looked at link carefully. "Well I'll be a porcupine's lover! It is you. How ya'll been Link! How is your chicken catching skills? I have five super cuccoos now. Up for a game?" He said shaking Link's hand wildly. "No thanks Mr. Talon." Link said politely.

Malon perked up. "Oh dad. We need a new ranch hand to replace Ingo. Link is strong and a hard worker we all heard his story. He wants to stay at the ranch with us and work. He said you can take room and board out of his paycheck. He said he'd work low as 50 rupees a week." Malon looked at her dad almost pleading him with her eyes saying 'please let him stay!' Talon scratched his moustache. "What in tarnation? Only 50 a week? You insult me boy. I'll let you stay free and give you 80 rupees a week! How is that?" Link Nodded.

Talon grabbed Link and Malon and held both arms around each of them. "Then it's settled you start tomorrow! No use staying in the stables you'll get sick in there. Stay with Malon in her room. Much warmer." Malon's face started to beam with excitement at the thought of Link staying with her. She still wondered if they would eventually be together. She sure hoped so. Little did she know, he wished for the same

Me: And that's chapter 2!
Brother: OH YOU FUCKING DICK! It was just getting good too!
Me: Well that's the key to good story writing, have them wanting more.
Brother: so you're going to tease them?
Me: Yep!
Brother: lolz, dick move
Me: take us out homie
Brother: Thank you all for reading! And thank you reviewers, and to that one guy who didn't like the format, we made sure to keep it the way you hate it just because we can. Lolz. We like it this way and don't wanna change it. Just pay attention and not scim it and its easy to figure out who's talking. It's a story not a script. Make sure you review and express your desire for more! I want more and Matt is a dick and won't let me have what I want
Me: I know :)
Brother: BYE!