Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just "write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed bu the light of reason..." (No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one fo the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).
Based on a prompt on Jelloforever... short, I know, but, hey... couldn't wait till tomorrow!
He is sitting on the mattress under the bloody smiley, like often, but this time his thoughts aren't directed to Red John, for once. He is thinking about Angela and Charlotte, of course, but not only, because his mind is filled with images of Teresa Lisbon.
Among the team, she is the one he cares the most about, the only one he could restrain himself for, she is the one he confesses his past to, she is the one he wanted and wants to feel smiling, the one he'd call was he dying, the one he promised to save, the one he decided he was always going to be there for.
He doesn't know if she is aware of it, but she has healed him, fixing his souls as much as possible, making her smile has become his sole priority, like helping her into catch as many bad guys as possible, Red John included, because it's in her hands, in the team's hands, that vengeance now is, and he has realized it the day he understood that the horrific visions of his family lost to him forever weren't his first and last thought and his recurrent dream, because she had became the last and first thought and his recurrent dream, turning into a sort of sleeping pills.
He loves Teresa Lisbon, he knows it and has known from a while, and even before to acknowledge this reality, he knew she was in love with him, but, with Lisbon being Lisbon, she had decided to don't act on her feelings (because of Red John, because they are friends, because they work together, because he is Jane, because he still wears his wedding ring, because of the rules, because it wouldn't be right for Grace and Wayne, because of Hightower).
He thought they were going to have time, he had promised himself that, once dealt in her way with Red John, he'd told her of his feelings, because he wanted to belong to her and he wanted Lisbon to belong to him and him only.
But time is up, and she is dying and he is selfish and masochist, but she is right, a life of regrets isn't a life, and, besides, there's the fact that he had promised to make her happy, a long time ago.
He isn't going to say his final goodbyes, to paint the wall or sell the house, that's what he'll do once Red John will be no more, but, for now, he has decided to stop worrying about it; when he'll no longer have the love of the woman who stole his heart, he'll concentrate again on murders and sociopaths, now his priority is Teresa.
He removes the wedding band, letting it rest on the mattress, because, even it will not last long, while they'll be together she deserves to be the only one.