Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect.
Tali had always expected Shepard to die like that, a hero. She simply had never thought that she would do so, so soon. Especially now, that the world needed her the most. Her loss was something that hit everyone very hard. The crew of the Normandy had been a family. The one holding them together was Shepard. Without her, they would break. The crew would be reassigned and Tali herself would have to go back to her own people to fulfill her duties as a member of the Migrant Fleet.
As far as Tali was concerned, Shepard had been an ideal captain; compassionate, caring and motivated. She had been a fearless leader, who would brave anything in order to keep people from getting hurt. She had dared defy the Council and the Alliance. She had stolen a ship and ventured to Ilos, simply because she believed it to be the right thing to do. She had followed her instincts and prevailed, saving everyone, even the Council that had fought so much against her and her opinions. She hadn't shied away from the tough decisions but had always favoured the ones where more lives would be saved.
Shepard had welcomed her openly, not caring that she was an alien, not caring that she was wearing a suit and that she couldn't even show her face. She had given her the chance to prove to her who she was, without prejudice or any kind of constraint. She had allowed Tali a chance to appreciate humans, to know them and to admire them for their tenacity. Shepard had saved her life, but more importantly than that, she had become her friend.
That was why it was so difficult to accept that she was gone; to realize that she had now come to say her final farewell to her. It was not hard because she had lost her captain or the person she idolized, but because she had lost a dear friend. A friend that was so selfless to have died while saving the life of another.
Tali mused that Shepard had always been like that; always saving people, with little or no regard for her own safety. A sad smile formed on the quarian's lips. There were so many people that owed Shepard their life. Most didn't even realize it.
The funeral was small. There were, primarily, the crew of the Normandy and some officials. There was no body, just an empty casket. She had moved in the front, to stand beside Garrus and Kaidan.
Kaidan looked unnaturally composed. Garrus had his gaze fixed on the casket, his face showing some of the sadness he felt. Liara was also present, of course, as was Wrex, who was standing somewhere in the back. All of them were very silent. Liara was crying.
Tali had not cried up until that moment, perhaps she had not fully grasped the reality of the situation. It hit her right then, as the ceremony started. Shepard was truly gone. She would never see her again. She would never again come down to the engine room to talk to her. The Normandy was gone and with it, somewhere in the vastness of space, drifted the body of the woman that had meant so much, to so many people.
It was at that moment that the tears finally came. Staring at the silver tinted coffin, the young quarian started to cry. She did so freely, allowing her tears to wash a little of her pain away. It was one of the few times she really appreciated her suited life, as she was able to cry freely with no one to see.
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