Updating this. (Yuncyn's turn this round.)
Just in case again:
1) We owneth not POT.
2) We owneth not any mentioned fast food joint/ restaurant.
3) We really REALLY like FAST FOOD. NO offense and really, fast food is GOOD. Do not believe any POT character and whatever we have mangled them to say.
4) NO, no one was fired/took a job leave when we wrote this.
5) No, we not stupid. We just bored. Or cracked-up, take your pick.
6) NO, we do NOT take responsibility for brain breakage.
Onward march.
Fast Food Fiction: Fudomine
"Fries. Coke. Fries. Coke. Fries. Coke-"
There was a soft slap to the upside of Kamio's drained head. He immediately jerked his head up. "What the hell was that for?"
"You're acting like a brain dead zombie," muttered Shinji who walked beside him.
"Not that you aren't one already," pointed out An with a teasing grin.
"An-chan!"
Tachibana who walked on his sister's left, smirked knowingly. "Algebra has you stumped, Kamio?"
"Stumped, stuffed and shot," groaned the boy as his shoulders drooped. "I can't take anymore 'x's and 'y's and whatever else alphabets Iemura-sensei wants to substitute on the damn blackboard!"
"And that's why you're repeating "fries" and "coke" like a broken record player?" inquired Ishida with a grin.
"Talk to the hand, Hadokyuu Math Genius," retorted Kamio, shoving his palm into Ishida's face.
The latter's doubles partner, Sakurai, sniggered. "Math Genius? Yeah right! The guy who decided that one plus two equaled to four in the last test?"
"S, shut up Sakurai!"
Mori and Uchimura both shared in the snickering. The latter spoke up. "Bad luck though, Kamio-kun. The usual burger joint's closed down for renovations. Heard it from Kawanaka yesterday."
The appalled, shocked and horrified expression, combined with a shrill kind of squeal suggested that maybe the rhythm freak had a kind of over-dependence on caffeinated soft drinks and over fried, diced potato oblongs.
"As usual, everything goes wrong for Kamio-kun when he needs it the most. In fact I think Kamio-kun's the reason why sometimes nothing goes right with me so I should probably stop playing tennis with Kamio-kun then I can get away from all his bad aura but he's among the better players in the team so I can't exactly avoid him and his obsession with rhythms and music and An-chan and he never seems able to ask her out which I can't understand why since it's so obvious she likes him the best out of us which is really unfair but no one said love or life was fair anyway…"
It was a good thing no one was paying attention to Shinji since Kamio, An or her brother would have severely maimed him for his mumblings. Instead, An was suggesting a new place to visit since it'd just opened up. It was only a few blocks further from their old burger joint.
"An-chan, you're a regular lifesaver," said Kamio appreciatively as they walked out the school gates. "And a pretty lifesaver at that, so it's a win-win situation!"
An giggled, her brother didn't hear since he was walking in front with Ishida, Mori, Uchimura and Sakurai rolled eyes and groaned at the corny lines while Shinji mumbled about Kamio's failing to be a Casanova and how An-chan didn't really deserve such a third-rate clown but he supposed that since Kamio was a good friend, he wasn't that much of a third-rate clown, maybe he was a second-rate clown instead…
-
"Why would they name the place Burger King?"
"Because it's the king of burgers?"
"…that's dumb. How're you supposed to call a burger 'oo-sama'?"
"You're not supposed to take it literally, Uchimura."
"What're you having Kamio-ku-"
"I'll have the Double Mushroom Swiss Special, the large French Chicken set, and an extra large order of fries."
"…Kamio-kun, even you can't be that hungry."
"Tachibana-san, you don't know what algebra does to a person's stomach."
"Apparently it causes a black hole."
"Just like Kamio-kun to overdo things, he always does even though it's unnecessary. Even I don't go to such extreme lengths and I'm the one who takes risks, hmm, maybe I should take the French Chicken set too since I like ham and chicken is good and France is a nice country but the beef burger also looks good but since I'm playing tennis, I shouldn't have such a heavy lunch but mom always says to make sure I eat properly…"
"Shinji-kun, what are you having?"
"…then both my sisters are always chubbier than me and I never understand it why they keep hitting me just because I tell things like it is and they ARE bigger sized than me which just shows how much food I get at home and Dad's so unfair whenever he brings back candy for them and not me just because I'm a guy but then again, maybe it's because I'm the oldest so I have to take responsibility…"
"He'll have Set One."
"Wait, An-chan, I don't really like mushrooms-"
"You're going to eat the Swiss Mushroom and you're going to LIKE it, Shinji-kun. That's that."
"…girls, always so authoritarian, I never thought An-chan would be like this because she's Tachibana-san's sister and she always takes care of us but it turns out she's like the other girls too- OW!"
"I heard that 'authoritarian' remark."
-
"I'll trade you that pickle for this fry."
"That's not a fair trade, Sakurai! The pickle's so wide and the fry's so thin. I insist on TWO fries."
"When have you become so calculative, Mori?"
"Since he developed a crush on Yukiko-san from class 2-D and the girl happens to be the school's math genius…"
"Here, Uchimura, you might wanna chew that burger FASTER…!"
"Mori, you're gonna choke him if you shove that burger into his face. Stop that."
"Sorry Tachibana-san."
Cough, cough. "Touchy…."
Gobble. Chew. Munch. Slurp. Swallow. Chew. Munch. Sluuuuurp. Chew.
"It's like seeing feeding time at the zoo."
"Grgh mrnngh mmhrh."
"What'd he say?"
"Something about mind your own business I think."
"Kamio, I'd like to mind my own business but I can't when you're acting like a starved hippo."
Giggle. "He's just like Momoshiro-kun – both have pits for stomachs."
"MMRGH NFGHH-"
"No talking with the mouth full."
"Grrgh mmngh ghmmng shhmng hggnm mhhghk grrknngh-"
"And Shinji, stop mumbling while you're eating. You're standing a good chance of choking on your burger."
"Surrngh tchrhsngh."
-
"Looks like everyone's outta drinks," noticed Ishida concernedly after about an hour and a half of talking, mumbling in Shinji's case, teasing, jibing, fry eating contests, coke slurping tournaments and short lived ketchup inhaling competition. Tachibana won the last one.
"I'm going to get refills. Anyone?"
"Thanks, Ishida," said Kamio with a grin as he handed over his empty cup. "Vanilla coke for me please."
Mori and Shinji both handed theirs over. "Coke for me."
"Coke for me too even though they say you can rot an entire tooth inside it if you leave it in a cupful for a week which I don't think anyone does since teeth are attached to your gums so there's no way any sane person's gonna dunk their teeth into a cupful of soft drinks…"
"I'll go with you, Ishida," offered Sakurai as he got up, taking up Uchimura's and the Tachibana siblings' cups along the way. "Be right back."
Uchimura went back to jibing Mori about his crush which Mori grew red faced and embarrassed about, protesting loudly. Shinji mumbled about the complexities of love (or a new formula for potato chips), An commented on how absolutely cute it was of Mori to react like that, Kamio stammering out a question if An-chan liked guys like that while Tachibana indulged in another chili laden fry, listening to his team members converse and the background of Shinji's droning.
It was nice to be out with the team like this, decided the captain with a small smile. He had had thoughts lately about how he would be leaving junior high soon and how in some inner, deep part of him, he feared that he might lose touch with the Fudomine Chuu team. In fact, he was concerned about their camaraderie when they all left junior high.
But judging from the laughing faces of An, Uchimura, Mori and Kamio, plus the tiny smile of Shinji, it was quite likely that their camaraderie was in no danger.
Just as long as there was a fast food joint and friendship between them… the camaraderie of Fudomine's tennis team would always be there.
"AAH! ISHIDA, NO-"
(CRACK!)
(SPLOOOSH!)
"HELP! TACHIBANA-SAN! Ishida accidentally 'Hadokyuu'-ed the soft drink dispenser and it's gushing orange soda everywhere!" screamed Sakurai as he ran out, arms flailing in panic.
Everyone immediately got to their feet, running towards the dispenser where poor Ishida was trying to stuff the cracked part with his bandanna, to no avail. Tachibana sighed, thinking that this friendship also meant sticking around when things got broken, before wracking his brain with how to pay for the damages and how to fix it.
End.