Disclaimer: I don't own.
Matthew's first conscious thought was, 'Someone's trying to wake me up.' Her second thought was, 'I'm going to break their fucking nose.'
"Birdie, come on! We have to go meet my parents soon." Gilbert was shaking her shoulders. "I know you're awake, Matthew." He wouldn't stop shaking her shoulders, and it was getting on her nerves.
Just like that years of living with four (five counting Tino) older brothers and being captain of the hockey team made her do what she'd normally do in this sort of situation.
She punched him in the face.
"Ow! Mein Gott, Birdie! What the Hell?" Gilbert was cradling his cheek on the floor. "You punched me!"
"Just be happy I wasn't fully awake." Matthew kicked the covers off while sliding the glasses on her face. "Now what are we doing today?"
"We're meeting my parents for lunch in twenty minutes." He was still slightly glaring at her. "Then there's a family gathering tonight, nothing huge but they rented a room for the group."
"What time is it?" She quickly picked up the clock to check. "Marde! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"
"Huh, gee, I wonder why? Maybe because you punched me in the face!" Gilbert retorted sarcastically. "Are you even listening to me?"
"Not really. No."
Lunch was awkward…to say the least.
Feliciano was rapidly talking off Ludwig's ear, oblivious to the atmosphere as usual. Ludwig was struggling to keep up with his husband while trying not ignore the others at the table. Gilbert' father was looking rather uncomfortable next to his ex-wife, who was currently giving both her and Feliciano the evil eye. Even after the food came, the rest of them just ate in the awkward silence.
"What happened to your face?"
"…Bar fight." Gilbert nodded to his father. "The guy was huge, Hello of a left hook too, but of course with my awesome skills I won."
"What was the name of the bar?" Questioned his mother.
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"Just Be Happy."
"Ve~ But Gilbert, I thought you said that Matteo punched you when you tried to wake her up?"
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"A bar fight, huh?" It looked like, from where she was sitting at least, that Aldrick was trying incredibly hard to stop the edges of his mouth from curving into a smile. "And where exactly did this 'guy' learn his left hook from?"
"Twenty years of hockey and five older brothers." Matthew snorted out between laughs. "And someone had to keep Alfred in check when we were at school."
"Alfred?" Johanna questioned. "An ex-boyfriend?"
"Hah! No. He's my younger twin half-brother."
"And how exactly does that work?" She questioned her, again. 'I dislike this woman.'
"It's called heteropaternal superfecundation; when two different males father fraternal twins. There's actually only about a 1 in 40 odds that the children are actually half-siblings though." Matthew explained. "The simple way to put it is my mother committed adultery with my father than gave me up as soon as she found out, and gave me up because she found out I was a bastard."
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"What?" She questioned. "Did I say something weird?" They were all staring at her, even Ludwig looked a little slack jawed.
"Ja, it was a little weird, Birdie." Gilbert agreed with her question. "How did you know all that off the top of your head?"
"I was curious so I looked it up a lot when I was younger." Matthew shrugged; she didn't see what the big deal was anyway. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to use the rest room before the check comes."
"Is there something I can help you with?" Matthew didn't even bother to look up from washing her hands. "Or would you prefer to go on giving my back the stink eye?"
"You'll never be good enough for Gilbert." 'Oh great she's one of those women.' "In my opinion you should go scampering back to Canada, little girl."
"I see you missed it then." Matthew commented, smiling at the woman she was starting to severely dislike.
"Missed what?" Johanna scoffed at her.
Now Matthew had turned around and had started advancing on her, making her back toward the wall.
"That your opinion means nothing to me." Step "As far as you and I are concerned." Step "You." Step "Can." Step "Go" Wall "Mange de la marde." She spun away from her and calmly walked out the door.
Once she neared the table though and saw the check was already paid she double-timed it to get there and start tugging Gilbert from his seat.
"Jeez, Birdie what's wrong-" "We need to go now." She cut him off.
"Ve~ Why is Matteo in such a hurry to leave?"
"Gilbert!" 'Marde!' Johanna was angrily marching toward them, glaring straight at her.
"I am leaving now, but if you wish to see me again before you go back to Canada feel free to visit me at my house alone." She practically hissed the last word out.
"Mutti, aren't you coming to the dinner tonight?" Ludwig questioned.
"No." The woman turned on her heel and left them.
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"What was that about?" 'Great now they're all staring at me again.
"In the bathroom…"
"Yes?"
"I told your mother…"
"Get on with it, Birdie."
"That she could go eat shit." Matthew blurted out. "In French."
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"You are officially the awesomest person I know." Gilbert was staring at her in awe. "You defeated the dragon!"
"Gilbert you shouldn't speak about your mother that way." Aldrick scolded him, but it held no authority to it. "It's very bad."
"Mutti is very intense, Vati."
"…You're supposed to be the good son."