.SG.

"So. We are looking for a man with a computer." Vala Mal Doran flicked her pigtails right and left, taking in the small batch of people coming and going from the low budget no-tell motel. "Man or woman with a computer," she corrected herself, enunciating every syllable. "I found five. Not counting people with smart phones."

She wasn't wrong. Every other person there had a computer bag or a tablet case hanging off their shoulder with the rest of their luggage. Any of them or none of them could be their culprit. SG-1 had arrived in Connecticut eighteen hours after the attempted hack. Plenty of time for whoever or whatever to have moved on. Add in that they had no idea what their target looked like and this was turning into a needle in a haystack.

"Seriously, Daniel. What are we supposed to be doing here?" Without further ado or warning, Vala whirled and caught the arm of the nearest innocent bystander. She tucked her arm in his like they were dates at the prom. "Excuse me, sir, we are armed federal agents here investigating an attempted cyber incursion into our mainframe yesterday evening. Would the person responsible be your handsome self? Or perhaps your charming companion?"

The hapless bystander, a thirty-ish man with floppy brown hair who stood around six and a half feet tall, dropped his jaw open in surprise but didn't form any articulate sounds. Except what might have been a 'huh?' He looked the tiniest bit afraid. But then, accosted by a strange woman claiming to be armed would do that to a man.

The 'charming' companion lived up to his description as he took Vala's other hand, freeing his companion. "Wasn't us, Sweetheart," he told her smoothly, green eyes twinkling. "But if you want to interrogate me, y'know, just to be sure I'm not lying, I'd be happy to take you out to dinner while we talk. I'm patriotic that way."

Vala's bright smile transformed into something a little more sultry as she considered those green eyes.

"Ooo-kay. We should be going," Daniel announced, tugging his co-worker's elbow to dislodge her from the 'charming' would-be computer hacker.

"But Daniel, what if that's our man?" Vala countered verbally even as she allowed herself to be chivied away. "Shouldn't I let him take me out for dinner and drinks just to be sure?"

"Okay, one, you are not a federal agent of any kind. You are technically a civilian consultant. Two, I think we'll let Sam work her magic with the internet provider before we accuse people of federal crimes. Hmm?" Daniel tossed an apologetic nod to the taller of the two men.

That one nodded back, accepting the apology and looking relieved.

The charmer held up his hands with an apology of his own, looking between Daniel and Vala. "Hey, man, sorry. I wasn't trying to rack-jack."

Daniel's face promptly flushed.

Innocent bystanders escaped out the front door as the rest of SG-1 regrouped.

"Well, Carter got her technical do-hickey plugged in." Mitchell announced. "I got us rooms for the night. One for boys and one for girls, but we might want to make them fumigate before we try to sleep. Or let our bare feet touch the floor."

"Cameron, what does the term 'rack-jack' mean?" Vala demanded, ignoring the update.

Air Force Colonel Cameron Mitchell, who did not hesitate to fly directly into the line of fire to protect the rest of this team, froze momentarily. He he did not want to know how she heard the term and did not want to answer that question. "Alright, I'm gonna ask. Where did that come from?"

Vala gestured at the front door. "The handsome promiscuous man said he wasn't trying to."

"It means to seduce a woman away from another man for the purpose of copulation," Teal'c explained without a flicker of embarrassment on his face.

Vala considered for a moment. "Oh. Okay, then." The bright smile reappeared as she turned to her roommate for the night. "Sam! We get to have a slumber party. I brought popcorn."

"Jackson, why don't you and Teal'c go check out local museums, see if you can't find anything unusual that would attract extraterrestrial interest," Mitchell suggested. He didn't bother trying to order this group to do anything. "I refuse to believe someone chose the 'On the Outs? C'mon Inn' for the ambiance."

.SPN

"Sonnuva Bitch!" Dean Winchester exclaimed as soon as the brother and him were in the Impala. "That was freaking close."

"Yeah, no kidding!" Sam let out a deep breath and a lot of tension with it. "This case just got a whole lot more complicated than it needed to be."

"Ya think?" Dean growled over the noise of the engine.

"It'd probably be suspicious to change hotels, especially now that you made such a lasting first impression." Sam groaned. "Which means I can't get online from the room. You heard the guy, their Sam will be wired into the router by the time we get back."

"So, do your research at the museum. No one's using the dead dude's desk. We need to get this done and get out of here before the rest of the feds get here." A thought struck Dean. "How'd they even trace us, anyway? I thought the was the scary laptop Frank Deveraeux gave you. Didn't Charlie upgrade like, everything to be a super hacker workstation?"

"Yeah, but those were some serious firewalls. That Daniel Jackson guy has some protection software like I've never seen before. Whatever it he does, they want to keep his files safe."

"You know what, Sammy? I don't want to know," Dean declared. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: monsters I get, people are freakin' nuts. Let's find out what likes linguists for breakfast, and shag ass outta here."

"Sounds good to me," Sam agreed. Then laughed to himself.

"What?" Dean asked.

"What if this thing actually goes out of its way to eat linguists?"