Chapter Two

Sam's eyes were shut, but she could still make out a blinding harsh glow on the back horizon of my eyelids. Every once in awhile a shadow would find it's way across her vision only instilling her with the determination, and will to open her eyes. She's completely aware that she's in a some sort of disillusioned state of mind she can't seem to get out of, or even remember how she got there in the first place.

She hear's a low mumble every once in a while—she know's someone's there, making conversation, but she can't make out the words; their meanings, their definitions. It's frustrating. She knows these words. She knows these voices. It's on the tip of her tongue, but it's never released.

She feels like screaming, she feels like kicking something—someone, mostly the person responsible for her current state. But there's nothing she do at meantime but lay there and hope she get's out soon.

She doesn't know how much time has passed, it could have been minutes, hours, she had no clue. But she began to feel the mere outlines of her body, she was regaining control once more, her mind, once foggy and disoriented began to clear, that's how she knew time had passed.

After a little while she could feel the back of her heavy body against something surprisingly more comfortably than she remembered. Some sort of soft padded mattress with crinkly bedsheets that almost tickled her fingertips. Sounds become clearer my the minute, she can hear a what she presumes to be Carly's voice in the background, but she's not entire sure just yet.

She can feel her body getting lighter, as if a giant heavy blanket that covered the entirety of her body was slowly lifted off her petite body minute by minute. She knew what was coming now, she jus had to gather enough strength to do so.

Sam slowly peeled her heavy eyelids open, as she became more and more aware of her surroundings. The strong smell of anti-bacterial cleaner filled her nose making her think she was in one of the Benson bathroom's for a moment, before she came to her sense and made the connection from her eyes to her brain.

Hospital. Sam instantly thought piecing everything together.

The room was bright, the florescent lighting was practically bouncing off the walls of the place making Sam quint with every move her eyes made. She felt as though she had been asleep forever but yet was still extremely tired.

"Sam?" A small piercing voice erupted through the deeming silence making the blond face in the direction of the source.

As she stared in to the red and glassy eyes of Carly she nearly let out a breath of relief.

"Oh thank god!" Carly exhaled rushing to Sam's side.

"C-Carly?" Forming words was strangely difficult for some reason. Sam watched as Carly whipped her own tears and sniffed in happiness. It was sweet, really, but the question that hung in the back of Sam's mind was beginning to surface.

And she swallowed. "Wh-what happened?"

…

Everything came back fairly easy for the blond—as in, easy to remember not easy to handle; that, was a different story, and although she would never admit it, Sam was overwhelmed with the emotions overpowering her.

This is what she knew; she and Freddie were in a car accident, how Carly had put it; the driver was under the influence, she had a broken arm and had been out cold all day from the concussion she suffered, her mom was no where to be found, so social services placed her in the temporary care of Spencer even though she was already eighteen.

And those thing's mattered only for about two small seconds, until she found something that overpowered them.

Freddie.

"W-where's Freddie?" She asked quickly after remembering, almost revealing the vulnerable side of herself in that small moment of uncertainty. The blond searched the room as if he was silently standing in the corner somewhere, or was about to walk in with that famous smirk of his any moment. Carly nearly held her breath at the mention of Freddie, and Sam quickly took note of his—her eyes widening in horror as breathing suddenly began harder for her.

"Carly, wh-where's Freddie?" She asked again trying to remain calm though her head was pounding through her ears.

Flashes of the crash highlighted in her mind as the memories come piling in. She remembered the blood on the side of his head and lips, she remembered thinking there was too much blood…everywhere… She remembered holding his hand, shouting at him to stay awake… screaming his name.

"Carl's, what's going on? You're scaring me." Sam swallowed as she fought back the tears that threatened to escape.

Don't cry. Not here. Not now.

Carly nodded. "He-he's," The brunette nearly choked out after a moment. She swallowed uneasily and continued. "he's here."

Sam nodded in relief, she swore a weight had nearly been lifted off her shoulders. Freddie was alive, that's all that mattered.

"I… I uh… I need to se-see him." Sam decided as she attempted to sit completely up and throw her weak legs over the side of the bed. Carly shook her head in disagreement. "Sam, what are you—no, y-you can't, you're—"

"Carly, either you're gonna help me get up, or get out of my way, which one is it?"

Carly looked utterly defeated staring back at her best friend in despair. Sam didn't mean to come off so harsh, but she had to do something. She couldn't just lay there and take it all in—no. She refused to.

"I-I can't Sam." Carly's voice broken in mid sentence as she stood in front of her best friend.

"And why is that?" Sam snapped in slight frustration.

"He's in surgery." The brunette explained bitterly as she helped her best friend back into bed. "But I promise as soon as he gets out you'll be the first one to see him, okay?" Carly promised tucking Sam back in the hospital cover's.

"You promise?" Sam asked.

Carly swallowed cautiously caught Sam's eye in concern, before she nodded.

"Promise."

"Okay." Sam ended.

After that the room became silent—too silent, that is until Sam had the nerve to speak up. "H-have you seen him?" She nearly mumbled not daring to meet her best friend in the eye.

Carly swallowed getting caught quite off guard by her question. She was not expecting that, but she nodded, and revealed the truth—she had seen him. "Yeah, I uh… I did."

Sam nodded pursing her lips together as if gather enough courage and look her best friend in the eye. And she did. "H-how is he? Was he awake?"

"No. He wasn't… he," Carly began but was quickly sidetracked by the look Sam was giving her. She swears she never seen Sam gaze at her that way—so desperate—so broken. Her eyes seemed to hold a sliver lining of pure innocence that is just about to be ripped away. How would she explain all this to Sam? How could she just sit there and take it all. "he—" Carly swallowed continuing to hesitate, not knowing how to continue.

"Come on Carl's its me, me of all people can handle the truth, okay?" Sam explained pulling on a brave face as she pretended to be fine with all this.

Carly saw right through it, but what was she to do? Deny her the truth?—no. That'd be cruel, then again, telling her would be too.

"He's not doing so good." The brunette finally revealed.

Sam, by some force of will managed, remained a shell on the outside as the news spread across her system, slowly, but surely turning her exterior soft. She swallowed hard and stared back at Carly.

"I-I saw him, this morning." The brunette continued as she shook her head in some sort of persistent denial. "Spencer almost didn't let me, but Ms. Benson convinced him to." Carly paused to take a shaky breath as she repositioned herself on the side of Sam's bed.

The brunette walked into the room alone, trying desperately to hold her tears in. The only source of sound came from a strange machine that seemed to be connected to a tube running down his throat.

The moment Carly saw him from the door way, her knee's nearly buckled; not being able to support her weight for a mere second. She forced herself to stare at the ground as she cautiously approached his bedside—not sitting down because she knew she couldn't stay long.

They no longer had that kind of time.

Though it was quiet the silence was almost getting too loud, and slowly but surely it was getting to her.

Hesitance met her with every action. She wanted to reach out and comfort him somehow, but she felt as if he'd break at her touch, so for the first few minutes she kept her hands painfully to herself.

She fought the urge to cry, though she desperately wanted to. She swore she's never seen anyone so fragile looking—so dependent before. And for a moment she couldn't believe it was Freddie she was looking at.

This could not be the boy she knew—the boy she grew up with; the boy who barged in her apartment with his spanish greetings. Freddie, Freddie Benson. No. It was impossible, Freddie did not look like this; broken and bruised, damaged and lifeless.

This has to be some kind of mistake.

Carly swallowed as she towered over the him in disbelieve. Her arm lingered on the side of the bed before she made an attempt to touch him. She stroked the back of his hand soothingly up and down for awhile as she wrapped the other around herself.

This couldn't possibly be him.

A tears managed to escape her eyes and she whipped them away, turning her head the other way just to give her something to do other than stand there and acknowledge his current status. She takes a deep labored breathe as she turns back to her best friend, she could feel her heart race—her blood thicken at the sight of him.

"Um," She clears her horse throat and continues. "Hey." She exhales slowly and softly.

He remains the same. Unconscious and oblivious to the world around him. It scares her; he usually answers.

"I-I uh…" She forces out but its harder to speak than she remembers, especially after spending the day sobbing her heart out.

"I…" She grabs ahold of the hospital bed railing to stable herself, forcing her head up at the ceiling in hopes to not let the tears fall down her face once again. It takes her a moment, but she succeeds. "Oh god." She exhales.

Carly looks back down at his fragile form again, but this time words spring from her throat allowing her to speak without getting caught in them, and she's utterly grateful for that.

"I know you can't hear me, o-or maybe you can but either way, it doesn't matter," She pauses. "because you already know what I'm gonna tell you." She swallows uneasily before proceeding.

Swish. The respirator makes.

"I love you, okay?" Her voice breaks. "W-we all do—and I can go on and on about what a good friend you've been and all that, but I don't need to, you already know." She pauses, then takes a deep breath as she reached for a part of his arm that was bare and not entangled in the medical equipment around him. He's warm—a little too warm, but it's better than what she expected. She expected him to be cold, a dead kind of cold. For a part of her knew he repealed a corpse.

"Oh god." She exhaled deeply, the realization finally getting to her.

She holds onto his arm for what feels like dear life. A minute passes and she doesn't want to let go… if she concentrates she can feel a small thump echoing through her hand, it's weak and slow and it breaks her heart just think about it, but she knows the fact that its still there is nearly a miracle.

"S-sam," She swallows. "Sam hasn't woken up yet… a-and a part of me is glad. Glad 'cause she doesn't know," Her voice breaks at the mention of his state. "she doesn't know about all this. But the other part of me wants her awake, ya know? And it's for selfish reasons really, but I don't care… that's kinda how I feel about all this…" Carly takes a shaky breath and lightly tightens the grip on his arm.

"I-I don't want you like this Freddie, but then I-I remind myself how terrifying and horrible it would be for you to be awake and I feel nothing but guilt for even thinking it."

She real eases her grip on his arm and reaches out for his forehead. Her finger caresses his hairline and she gently parts slow his hair in a leisurely, swift matter. "I just want you to open your eyes a-and," She phases from being mentally and emotionally exhausted in the one sided conversation. "to tell me everything's gonna be okay." She exhales softly and purses her lips.

"C-cause by the looks of it right now… everything's a freaking mess." Her soft cries turn into an uncontrollable mumbled sob which shakes her whole body out of denial.

"A-and I-I just don't know… I don't know what to do, what to say—what am I supposed to tell Sam? Wha-what am I supposed to tell myself? Th-this is a moment where those self speeches just don't work, a-and I need someone to do the talking for me." Carly's shoulders drop and she shut's her eyes for a moment of clarity. "I need you to do the talking for me."

"God I sound crazy. Just ignore what I said okay?" She plays with a fake confident smile on her face. "I-I don't know what's wrong with me right now…" She trails off for a few seconds until a knock on the glass door catches her attention and Spencer's head pops in.

He doesn't have to say anything for her to get the message, she gives him a strong nod of understanding then turns her head back to Freddie. Her gaze drops as she realizes that there isn't much time left.

And she's scared—terrified really. That this may be the last time she see's him alive.

"Oh god, how am I supposed to do this? I-I don't even know." She mumbles at first before calming herself yet once again.

"There's a part of my mind that keeps tricking me into thinking you're okay—th-that this is all okay…" She swallows and reaches back for his arm, now rubbing soothing circles into it with her thumb.

"b-but you're not okay—because if you were... they'd keep you awake, they'd…" She bites her lips as she feel another set of tears coming on.

"I'm scared Freddie." She gulps. Her face is puffy and stained with salty tears.

"I'm scared that we're gonna lose you—and th-that you're never going to live the rest of your life." She continued. "Tha-that you're no longer going to barge in my apartment greeting us in your random Spanish…" She cried, not noticing how odd she sounded.

"So," She sniffed."you have to wake up soon and you have to get better. You can't leave us hanging like this okay?" She gulps again and whips her teary face.

"Oh god." She swallows.

Carly stares at his motionless face and her heart sinks. "I love you." She whispers as she kisses his forehead. "I love you best friend… d-don't die okay?" She paused as a shiver ran how her spine. "Oh god." She mumbles not wanting to let go of his arm—not wanting to let go at all. "J-just don't die Freddie." She didn't know what else to say—what else to do.

All she knows is that she doesn't want to let go.

"He had a lot of internal bleeding—up to the point it reached his lungs and cut off his respiratory system, on top of that… his whole brain is swollen from the impact a-and," Carly struggle out. "there's a big chance that includes brain damage."

Sam gulped, feeling honestly overwhelm and upsettingly queasy by the amount of information, fear molded into her face.

Carly never thought she'd see that day Sam Puckett looked utterly lost, but here they were.

"I have to go-" Sam announced after a moment. She sat up and swung her feet over the side of the hospital bed once again. "Sam you can't, your doctor has to-"

"I'm fine Carly, just fine. I don't need a doctor telling me that." Sam stubbornly growled as she attempted to rip the IV drip from her arm.

Carly stood up and ran to her best friends side. "Look I know you feel okay and all but please… I can't risk you too…" Carly urgently explained, her eyes slowly building tears. She looked at Sam and felt her hot tears run down her face.

Sam instantly felt guilty. She got up, with a little trouble, and walked over to Carly who took a seat right in front of her and made the brunette stand up to give her a hug.

"I'm sorry," Sam mumbled. "I-just-I feel like it's my fault…"

Carly let go of Sam and looked her straight in the eye.

"Don't you ever say that again."

...

"His condition is stable Ms. Benson, his vitals are a little weak which concerns me a little, we'll monitor him for the next few days and hopefully things will take a turn around." The young doctor informed her.

Ms. Benson nodded and then thanked Freddie's doctor with a polite handshake before she took a breath and she walked back in her son's hospital room.

Surprisingly he was not alone this time, for Spencer was hovering right by his bedside.

"Hello Spencer," Freddie's mom greeted softly. "I didn't expect you be here." She continued.

Spencer turned and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well uh, Carly is with Sam... so I thought, you know-" "That you could come here." She finished his sentence for him.

"Pretty much," Spencer exhaled. The silence set in for a couple seconds before Spencer had the courage to ask about Freddie.

"H-how'd the surgery go?" He asked watching Marisa intently as she walked to the other side of her son's bed and sat down.

The woman cleared her throat before she spoke up. "It went well—they uh, they managed to stop the bleeding in his chest which was the main reason they pulled him in for another surgery.

Spencer looked back at the young boy, his hands still hesitantly in his jean pockets. "Th-that's good, right?"

Marisa nodded then swallowed. "Yes, it is."

"I-is he gonna wake up soon?" The conversation between the two was strained and awkward due to the overbearing silence the room had taken over. Even with their major differences, they always had room for easy, swift conversation, that is, until now of course.

This time Marisa shook her head. "No… uh," Freddie's mother swallowed once more not really knowing how to put the words together to explain.

"Dr. Baits thought that given his neurological damage, he best be kept in an induced coma," She began, but after taking one look at the confusion presented on the older males face—she thought it best to make it clearer. "What that does is give the brain time to heal without the body preforming by shutting off flow to damaged sections of his brain."

Spencer nodded only now fully understanding. "Oh, I see… h-how long do you think before—?"

"Could be anywhere to a few days to weeks honestly." Ms. Benson revealed. "We'll just have to wait and see."

...

"Sam—Sam, wake up." Carly shook her best friend until her eyes fluttered. It was late afternoon. Sam stirred and groaned in her place. "Five more minutes." She grumbled; her eyes still closed.

Carly shrugged. "Okay I guess your doctor will just have to discard you tomorrow morning then." Carly teased as she deviously smiled quick and ready for Sam to respond. And she did.

Th blond instantly opened her eyes, raised her arms up high in surrender and repeated. "Okay, okay, I'm up."

"The nurse is gonna come and unplug that IV out of your hand, but until then you can change your—" Carly stared at Sam as she took the IV needle out of her arm. "No more nurses Carl's. I'm a free women." She took the clothes from Carly's arms and walked over to her bathroom. "Be right back." She yawned.

Carly just rolled her eyes and waited for her best friend to come back out.

Typical Sam.

"So what's the word on Freddie?" Sam asked as soon as she walked out of the bathroom now fully dressed in her own comfortable clothes. She made a mental note to thank Carly for picking warm comfy tights and an a large sweater for she couldn't be anymore cozy.

"Um, well he got out of surgery a while ago," Carly began to explain as Sam shot her a really? look which indicated to the brunette she was no happy about something. "you fell asleep! I wasn't going to wake you Sam, the doctors told you to rest!"

"Fine, go on."

"It went well, so that's a good thing, but uh… other than that, pretty much how it had been last time I spoke with you." Carly continued as they began to walk out the door and down the hall.

Sam nodded, before optimistically speaking up. "Has he woken up?"

It took Carly a minute to register the and find a way to explain eloquently, but she managed it with a brave smile and spoke. "No, he hasn't," The brunette swallowed, wanting to continue.

"That's kinda the thing Sam…" She made the stop in the middle of the tracks and faced Sam with all the patience in the world. This was not going to be easy.

"He's not going to wake up—at least, not soon."

This only sprung confusion on the young Puckett's face as she stared into the eyes of her best friend utterly lost. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, the doctors put him in some sort of medicated coma—"

"He's in a coma—?!" Sam nearly exploded, the heart in her chest racing a million times a minutes out of pure concern and frustration.

"No, no, no, Sam. T-that's not what I meant—"

"Well, you can't just go around telling people he's in a coma if he isn't—" Sam nearly fought back, she was pissed. Pissed for making her worry.

"Will you just listen to me?" Carly almost shouted, wanting to get her point across. Sam nodded, finally calming herself down enough to hear what she had to say.

"It' not that type of coma Sam, the one he's in is reversible, don't worry."

"I-I don't understand, why is all that necessary?" Sam asked as they began to walk towards the elevator once again.

"Well if you'd let me explain the first time," Carly started but after receiving a look from Sam and stopped and continued on. "his brain is swollen from the impact, the doctors and Ms. Benson agreed that shutting his brain "off" would help it heal faster with less risks and such—you should really let one of them explain it to you, I'd make more sense, I think."

Sam just nodded not really knowing how to absorb all this at once—but she couldn't blame Carly—it wasn't her fault for telling her, she needed to know.

...

"He's right in there." Carly pointed out as they stood in front of two large sliding doors that revealed a boy who lay under an overwhelming amount of medical equipment in the ICU section of the hospital.

"T-That's him?" Sam mumbled clearly heartbroken, though she refused to let that present itself on her exterior. Carly nodded then grabbed her hand for support. "Come on," She tugged her along. "let's go say hi."

He was still—almost too still for Sam. And it freaked her out. She's never seen Freddie like this before—so vulnerable—so dependent. It was unreal, nerve-racking almost.

Freddie lay on the hospital bed right in front the doors to the small gloomy ICU room he was being kept in, which wasn't helping Sam's case for the tired to keep her eyes trained on any other thing than him.

Carly noticed it quickly—her hesitance towards him, however she didn't see the tears threatening to escape Sam's eyes the longer she remained there. But by some power of will she managed to restrain her emotions and with an encouraging glance from Carly, the blond set her eyes on the boy in the bed.

She didn't know how it was possible but her heart sank to the deep pits of her stomach; she hadn't realized how close she was.

From what she could see, he lay bare chested against the mattress, eyes closed and rested, lips parted, mouth opened enough for a thick tube to snake it's way down his throat, one the left side of his bed next to wall stood various intimidating machines connected to an endless ocean of wires and tubing draped across his body—machines that checked, machines that regulated; machines that kept him alive.

"I'm gonna give you some space, okay? I'll go find Spencer and Ms. Benson." Carly announced softly, feeling a little like she was intruding on their personal moment. Sam turned to her, giving her a firm nod that it was alright. "You okay?" The brunette asked once more before leaving.

Sam nodded again, not daring to speak one word, and as Carly exited the room, she hesitantly turned back to Freddie, never having felt so alone.

"Hi." She began, her voice unsteady as she stood uncomfortably by his bedside. For some strange reason, she half expected him to reply; to open his eyes and reveal that famous smirk of his that always made her feel better.

But he didn't. He remained completely unfazed by her voice.

Sam swallowed nervously and paused, not knowing what to word what she felt. What do people say? Do they even say anything at all? She remembered reading somewhere that some coma patients might be able to hear you, but was this the case now?

The blond swallowed once more, trying to not let her emotions get the best of her in that moment, and pushed on.

"Ya know, you look pretty intimidating Fredster," She let out subconsciously eyeing all the medical equipment around him. "I just hope you get better okay?"

She passed once again letting her hand flawlessly linger around his before she gathered enough courage to grab it. "I-I saw Spencer, and your mom earlier… a-and between us? Everyone's putting on a really brave face… but inside I think they're just really scared," The blond admitted and exhaled a shaky breathe she didn't realize she was holding. Her eyes lingered to their hands as she gently outlined his palm with the tip of her index finger.

"God Freddie… what the hell happened?"