Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the honorable JK Rowling does, but I wish I did own it.

Warnings: Nothing yet. Although it is meant to be funny, it is a little less crazy then my usual humor. It may still deteriorate into madness.

Summary: We learn what is going on… not that it is reassuring.

Chapter Two:

After much pinching and must pain Ron and Harry had decided that they were not dreaming. After they came to this realization Harry realized he was walking around with his wand out and Ron looked ready to cry.

"It's simply wonderful," Hermione bubbled.

Of course," said Ron, who looked ready to be sick.

"Stop the ride", Harry choked. "I want off."

"Don't be a baby Ron," snapped Hermione, who looked nearly as dignified as the royal looking fairy traveling behind her. Ron and Harry looked crestfallen, and dragged themselves after her with great difficulty. Elrond seemed to be able to travel effortlessly, and it seemed as though he was slowing down to stay between them and Hermione out of sheer politeness.

It was too long before they found themselves standing in front of the Gargoyle.

"Sugar quills," said Harry confidently. But the gargoyle remained immobile.

"Sherbert lemon," said Hermione.

"We could be standing here all day…blood pops" said Harry. "Though, I used to think it was foolish to use something so predictable, it's really hard. Cockroach clusters! There are like a million sweets it could be."

"Acid pops!" said Hermione. "I know Harry…ice mice." Still no movement.

"Chocolate frogs," said Ron. "Butter pecans?"

"Twizzlers? Chocolate drops? Ice lollies?" Harry looked annoyed. The whole time they stood there reciting sweets Elrond had smiled his knowing smile and eventually he had spoken quietly to the gargoyle. None of the trio noticed it until with a rumble the Gargoyle moved aside.

"You knew the entire time?" asked Hermione.

"No. I merely asked him politely to move aside as the Headmaster was expecting you."

"That's never worked for me," said Harry. "All I get are sarcastic comments.

But Hermione looked thoughtful. "You used elvish didn't you?"

"Indeed," said the…elf? That smiled was now starting to annoy Harry. "Though even few of our lords could have managed it, and I would ask that you not inquire as to how I managed it. First we must speak to your wise headmaster, and then explanations shall mayhaps follow after we converse upon recent events."

"Gesundheit," said Ron. But he was silent as they headed up the stairs to the headmaster's office.

"How does he know all this?" whispered Harry to Hermione.

"He's probably listening in now," said Hermione. "But I doubt he'll tell you."

Dumbledore looked surprised when they all stumbled into his office.

"Harry, I was not expecting to see you. And who is this?"

"The Gatekeeper said that the gate has been opened," said Hermione. Dumbledore's expression became serious.

"And he came through the gate?"

"Yes sir," said Hermione.

"Can we learn what is going on here?" asked Ron angrily. Harry said nothing but felt Ron was rather out of line.

"Ron," Hermione scolded, irked by his rudeness. When in doubt, let Hermione handle it.

"I don't blame Weasley for feeling rather confused and left out," said Dumbledore. "So we may excuse a little rudeness. But I think our guest should be first in introducing himself, as he no doubt knows us."

"I am Elrond son of Earendil, and I am lord of Imladris. I was contracted by the Gatekeeper who explained that there was a war going on and you would need aid. He explained that time passes separately in both worlds, and while I linger here it would stop for me in Middle Earth."

"Of course, I understand that you must have many duties," said Dumbledore.

"Yes, but knowing they would be safe unattended during my absence was re-assuring. I was the best choice for an envoy between my world and yours, and knowing I was needed I agreed."

Dumbledore nodded. "I was warned earlier that the gate would be opened soon, but I had no idea that the one sent through would be a lord of such power."

"I thank you for accepting me into your world, Dumbledore."

"Call me Albus," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling in that usual way of his. Harry now found it distinctly annoying. "You will of course be housed comfortably, as we do in act have extra rooms available. No doubt you are but the first of many. I hope that we have the space. Were you perhaps notified of how many?

"I was told that current estimates were at 12, but more may yet join," said Elrond. "One envoy from each world, and so far only 12 have agreed, but more from other worlds may yet arrive."

"Oh dear," said Dumbledore. "We have housed students before, but I can't very well ask all of our guests to share. No doubt the numbers will climb higher soon."

"Each may yet have their use," said Elrond. "But I think that you should steel yourself for the chaos which is likely to ensue once they start to arrive in greater numbers."

"I shall try my best," said Dumbledore. "But in the meantime, an elf will show you to your quarters."

"You have elves in your world?"

"Oh yes," Hermione interrupted. "And they're virtual slaves."

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Young Hermione here is quite outspoken. They are not elves as you know them, Elrond Peredhil."

"Yet I would not justify my kin's hunting of petty dwarves no more then I would justify the kinslaying."

"They are called house elves for a reason Lord Elrond. And I would say that they work because they enjoy it.'

"As dwarves mine for gold, not for reward but for the beauty of the gems they sought?"

"I would say so, yes. They are tied to one family during their lives, and thus can be treated ill. Servants were treated just as badly at times, and while they are not paid being freed is to them a sign of shame. It is deplorable indeed, which is why at Hogwarts I keep and offer payment to two of some of the few freed elves. But now is not the time for an elf rights discussion."

Hermione looked like she wanted to say something, but she fell silent knowing she was dismissed. Ron was not so smart. "Let it rest for once Hermione. You and spew."

"It's S.P.E.W" said Hermione hotly. "Which you should know being a member and all." Harry felt a headache coming on again.

"I only joined because you made me, and you're the only member who joined that wasn't blackmailed or annoyed to death."

There was a crack and Dobby appeared. He bowed to Elrond. "Dobby is knowing you are an elf sir, a real elf such as what lived long ago when wizards were new."

"That," said Harry grimly, "is a House elf."

Elrond held out a hand. He kept it low so it was at Dobby's height, and being quite tall it looked excruciatingly uncomfortable. Dobby's eyes filled with tears. "Mister Elf is too good to Dobby he is. Dobby is being treated like a real wizard. Only good mister Potter and master Dumbledore has ever treated Dobby so well."

"See," said Hermione. "That's how they're treated, like worse then dirt. It's simply awful."

"Dobby," said Harry firmly. "Is the only elf I know who wanted to be free, and he still talked Dumbledore out of paying him a good salary and letting him more then one day off a month."

Elrond turned to Hermione, and said in one sentence what Harry had been trying forever to say to Hermione for ages. "The greatest harm that is ever done in this world is done by those who mean well, but know not what they do, even the very wise." And Harry thought of Sirius and realized that while even the wise may make mistakes, the greatest fools are those who think that it means weakness.

Elrond followed Dobby out of the office, leaving Hermione chewing her bottom lip. Ron was smirking.

"I think Miss Granger," said Dumbledore. "That it is up to you to explain to Messirs Potter and Weasley what is going on." His eyes twinkled again, and Harry resisted the urge to punch his beloved mentor in the face. "If you don't, I'm afraid they may become confused."