"Please Donnie, don't do this t' us! C'mon bro, stay with me, stay with me!" Raphael desperately changed the pad he was trying to stem the blood flow with and continued attempting to close up the artery that Elite's blade he pierced. He wasn't having much luck, and Don was losing too much blood too fast. His hands started to tremble as they slipped off the needle he was using again, trying to ignore the sight of two broken plastron halves either side of him, shattered from the Elite's attack.

"We're going to need to get some more blood into him, even I know that's way too much lost," said Leonardo, pressing down on the pad Raph had exchanged and feeling with some nausea the warm red liquid swelling up and soaking the towel and his fingers.

"I know, I know!" snarled Raph, shaking his head to snap himself back to attention. "Masta Splinter!"

Their sensei looked over from where he was sat comforting Michelangelo, who was far paler than should be healthy and shaking like a leaf. "Yes, my son?"

"Go get our DNA chart thingies 'n tell me if one of us matches Don's blood type. He needs some 'n fast." Raph's eyes narrowed as he finally managed to seal the artery somewhat so it wasn't spurting blood all over the place anymore. "That should slow it. Leo, keep the pressure on."

"I'm glad Donnie taught these things to one of us," breathed the blue-clad turtle.

"He tried t' teach both o' yas too, but ya were too busy focussin' on trainin' 'n Mikey was way too fidgety," Raph accused sharply, golden eyes boring into his elder brother's.

Leo was about to retort when Splinter came back with Raph's sheet. "Raphael, it seems you are the only one with the B+ blood that Donatello needs," he said quietly before going back to Mikey. Raph nodded.

"Leo," he said, gingerly picking up a big hypodermic needle and attaching it to a piece of machinery underneath the surgical trolley, "find the vein in my arm and get the needle in."

"What?" Leo looked startled. "I can't do that!"

"Ya can 'n ya will!" Raph took over applying the pressure to Don's wound and thrust the needle at Leo. "It's either yeh try or he dies. Do yeh want Don t' die?"

"No, but..." Leo looked queasy as he took Raphael's arm and poked gently at it in an attempt to find a vein. He found one surprisingly easily, but then discovered that actually spiking the vein was another matter entirely. Seven tries later he finally got the needle in, and Raph very quickly pushed the other needle sticking out on the machine sat quietly beeping to monitor Don's vitals into Don's arm as Leo took over pressure duty once more.

A button, switch-flick and two seconds later, and blood was drawn up from Raph's arm into the machine and then cycled into the olive turtle unconscious on the table. The red-banded turtle went back to sorting out the rest of the internal wounds he could find, stitching up what needed stitching and realigning what needed put back properly.

About an hour went by before Raph decided that three pints of blood, a lot of shivering and dizziness on his part and what seemed to be a stable brother were good enough reasons to end the surgery and clean up. The heart monitor beeped steadily at them all, reassuring them that yes, their genius brother was still with them.

Raphael just about collapsed into Leo afterwards, who wordlessly wrapped a blanket around the turtle and disappeared briefly to get him some food and a warm drink. Leo then led his younger sibling over to a still-pale and shocked Mikey and a silent Master Splinter, and the four of them huddled together to wait and see.

-x-

It wasn't until early the next morning that something happened, but it wasn't at all what they were all hoping for. The heart monitor suddenly started going crazy, waking a cursing Raph who had been sleeping on Don's couch - the same one the purple-banded turtle used if he had been up late into the night working and was too tired to get to bed.

Donatello was arching up from the table, clearly in pain and gasping for breath. Raphael hollered for Leo as he tried to hold his younger brother down, noting with a sinking feeling in his gut that the clean bandages he'd put on the previous evening were thoroughly soaked in blood. The katana-wielder screeched into the room, following Raph's instructions to try hold Don down without question as the sai-master grabbed some scissors, snipped the stained cloth off and pulled apart the broken plastron again.

"No no no no no no no! Donnie c'mon, don't do this!" Raphael paled as realized either his stitching on the pierced artery must have come undone or he had missed something, because there was about as much blood outside the wound as there was inside the cavity Raph had been working in when he cut the external stitches and opened it up again. "He's bleeding from somewhere, but I can't tell where; there's too much blood!"

"Can we do another transfusion?" asked Leo hurriedly, panic rising pretty rapidly through his system.

"Not this early after one. There's no way I'd be able to give any more blood and survive." Raph gritted his teeth and ordered Leo to hold on tighter before diving back into the wound again to try and find and stop the leak.

-x-

There were no expressions of triumph or celebrations as Raphael and Leonardo slowly left Donatello's lab, only ones of shock, dawning horror and threatening waves of tears. Their second-youngest sibling, their genius brother, the glue that held them together, was gone.

Dead.

Forever.

Raphael looked down at his blood-soaked hands, unable to wash them clean despite the fact he hated the sight of them now.

He had failed.

He had failed Donnie, he had failed his family and he had failed in saving a life. When it mattered most, he couldn't deliver.

So he collapsed to his knees and screamed. He screamed his heart out until his voice broke, and didn't need to hear Mikey's cry of, "No!" or Splinter's muffled sobs to know that they knew.

A weight fell on top of him, holding him, embracing him, offering an empty comfort. Leo was crying too, his tears falling onto and tracking down Raph's shoulder. The sai-wielder clung to his older brother, too overwhelmed to do anything else. Tears blurred his golden eyes, and he squeezed them shut in the hopes that this was all some very, very bad nightmare and he was going to wake up and find that he'd crawled into Leo's bedroom at some point and Mikey would be laughing his shell off at them both and Donnie would be in the kitchen waiting for them all with a big grin and breakfast ready.

Only when he opened his eyes again things were exactly the same as when he'd shut them, reality distorted as it couldn't, wouldn't sink into them that Don was...

Raph couldn't bring himself to finish the statement.

He refused to let go of Leo even as the older turtle finally rose and ushered them all out into the kitchen to make some tea, pride be damned. He was in too much pain to care.

How odd it was, though. Raph never really cared about physical pain, he could handle that no problem. Yell at Leo, throw a couple things around and a twenty-minute whinging session with Don trying to patch him up always worked, and it never bothered him after that. But this... this was completely different. This wasn't a physical pain, this wasn't an easy fix. It was never going to leave, it would always be in the back of his mind. And he was completely lost as to what he should do.

So he did the only thing he could; he clung to his brother like his life depended on it, despite the fact he knew that Leo was in just as much pain as he was. Leo always knew what to do.

-x-

"Feeling any better?"

Raph started and looked up to meet the concerned gaze of Leonardo, steaming cup of herbal tea in the blue-banded turtle's hand which he passed to the sai-user. Raph shook his head but accepted the drink with no-longer red hands.

"How's Mikey?" he asked hoarsely, dodging the question.

"Exhausted. Sleeping. Completely torn-up. In shock." Leo paused. "How are you feeling, Raph?"

Raph slowly swirled the cup's contents around as his brother sat next to him, and didn't object to the arm that embraced his shoulders comfortingly. "It was my fault," he said quietly. "I didn't spot he had another cut that could rupture at any time. I wasn't thorough enough, I failed."

"No, Raphie." Leo pulled Raph's head round to face him gently. "It wasn't your fault, you did everything you could and more. I looked it up; you should've passed out after giving away three pints of blood, but you kept going because you were determined. Donnie would be proud of you, just like me."

"How can you be proud of me? I killed our brother!" Raph stared at him angrily, incredulously.

"No, you didn't. The Foot did, and they're going to pay for this." Leo sighed and closed his eyes, but Raph could see the pricks of tears gleaming at their edges. "You did everything you could, you gave everything you had and managed to stay alert and standing long after any of us would've collapsed and given up. And I'm proud of you for that. We don't blame you, Raph, so don't blame yourself."

"I-" Raph was cut off as Leo went from an arm around the shoulders to an all-out hug, clinging tightly to the red-banded turtle.

"Please. Please don't, Raphie. It wasn't your fault, so please don't take the blame!"

Raphael was so startled by his brother's voice cracking that badly and the embrace, even though he knew his brother wasn't the touchy-feely type, that he found himself promising before his brain caught up with his mouth.

And yet somehow, that felt right. He could be to blame for not spotting the other rupture in Don's body, but he wasn't at fault for Don's death.

No, the Foot would pay, just as Leo said. They would pay, very painfully and brutally if he had his way. And then, Raph thought as Mikey slipped quietly to them and snuggled between his brothers, it would be okay. They would be okay. They could get through this together, they could deal.

Donatello was still with them, even if it wasn't physically, and always would be. Just like Master Splinter's sensei, the one whom he considered his father-figure. Raph briefly wondered if they'd met wherever they were, and whether Yoshi would be able to handle the boundless curiosity that was Don. The thought brought a sad smile to his face as he ran his fingers gently over a sleeping Mikey's shoulders and shell, tangling and untangling the orange bandana tails as he did.

Raphael looked up as Splinter came into the room to see his sons curled up together, each taking comfort in the others' presence, and his face twisted in anguish again and he buried his face into Leo's plastron. Splinter walked over and placed a hand lightly on Raph's arm, sitting next to them in silence but letting them know that he was there and he too was hurting as much as they.

-x-

That night, Raphael Hamato prayed. For the first time in his life, he prayed. He didn't know why, it just felt like the right thing to do. So that's what he did.

And as he finished he fancied he could hear a light, smooth laugh reverberating around his room, a laugh that could only belong to one person.

"Oh quit yer giggling, Donnie," he grumbled. "I'm gonna kick your shell when I see you again for that, I swear."

His only answer was silence, but somehow he was satisfied Don had heard him.

And with that, Raphael got into bed and drew the covers up and over his head, cocooning himself and hoping he could get at least a couple hours' sleep in before they started trying to pick up the pieces of their lives tomorrow.

Goodnight, Raphie. Thank you.

Rae: I told you! Can't say I didn't warn you! Ö The bunny refused to be written any other way. It was the fact I had to kill Donnie that was the hard part. The writing was easy. (sniffles)

Umm... review, and please don't kill me? (cringes)