Musings
Disclaimer: I disclaim. None of these characters belong to me. Go away, lawyers.
Summary: Remus, Peter, and Sirius' thoughts on and after that fateful night when the four Marauders are together once again, the first time in twelve years.
Two: Remus
It had been thirteen years since I last saw his face. Thirteen years of not knowing how he was doing, thirteen years of not caring, or at least, pretending not to care. But in my heart, he was still my brother, my pack-mate, and I missed him dearly. One cannot miss a murderer and a traitor, however, so I tried to hide those feelings.
A few months ago, the papers said that he had escaped. No one knew how or why... but I knew. I knew, and I did not say a word... for if I did, I would have to admit that I betrayed Dumbledore's trust, and that is the most important thing to me. I am in great debt to him, and if he were to know what I brought among the students, what I became the catalyst for, he would never trust me again. But I knew...
And now, tonight, I saw him again. He was a shadow of his former self. Though I could still see what he once was -- a fine young man with dashing looks -- time in Azkaban had stolen much of his beauty from him. His cheeks were hollowed, and a wild look filled those dark eyes of his.
I saw what he had become, yet I still went along with him. I saw that all those years of hating myself for being so trustful, all those years of berating myself for not telling Dumbledore... they were all wasted. He wasn't what everyone thought him to be. He was innocent... and though escaping from Azkaban wasn't the best decision, he had been there for a crime he did not commit.
I saved him from Harry, tonight, and gave Harry his godfather... but then, I forgot. I forgot to take that potion -- nasty thing it is -- I forgot that tonight was one of those nights, when I am forced to follow the moon's calling. I simply forgot, and with that, the gift that I had presented to him -- to both of them -- was lost.
I regret all of it. I regret doubting him. I regret forgetting. I regret letting another long lost friend, but the real betrayer, slip away during my madness... I don't regret, however, saving him from the fate that would have awaited him had we not brought Harry around.
So many regrets... yet I'm satisfied with what I have done. I could have done it better, had I not forgotten, but alas, messing around with time is a dangerous thing, one that I'm not willing to mess with, not even if I could clear his name... and mind you, I would do quite a lot to see my pack-mate have peace.
I've done the best I can for him, and will continue to try to support him whenever he needs me -- like I did when we were young. After all, he is my best friend. My only friend left from those days... and of course, no one could resist helping that handsome, suave teenager I knew way back then... because, after all, he is Sirius Black... just not as clean and playful as I once remembered...
The wolf in me helps keep this true… for I am Remus Lupin, an acknowledged werewolf…
Please review. Sirius' is almost complete as well… Just need to actually find time to type that up.