Thank you for reviews. You encourage me to continue with the story so this chapter is for you. Happy holidays!

Chapter 2

I could see his lean form came up from the shadows. He was wearing his usual jacket but his hair was free, dancing in a cold wind like flames. His pose resembled the posture of a wild creature, dangerous and fast. But his face was the face of devil. He didn't look at me as if I didn't exist but moved to the entrance of a tunnel, strangely graceful in his movements.

I followed him, almost like hypnotized, almost like if I didn't have any other choice. The darkness devoured me.

Hours passed away as I fumbled towards. A numb creature feeling for his way. Finally I saw a vague light before me and heard a strange sound. I didn't have time to pay attention to it because I reached the entrance.

The cave was small and damp with a beam of light bursting in through a gap near the roof. Schuldig was bended over a sleeping figure on a stone altar. He was whispering something, I wasn't able to understand what.

Then he raised his voice, ordering the figure to wake up. As I suddenly realized, who he was speaking to, a wave of joy engulfed me, making impossible to think about anything else than that he was waking her up.

A shiver ran her slight frame and after a while I heard her voice, quiet, hoarse and unsure, to speak up. I wanted to move to her but I couldn't, the happiness and disbelief swirling wildly inside me.

A shriek of a boot on stone. A flash of blades. The white demon moved to her and Schuldig stepped back. In the yellow eye was the hungry look which I knew so well.

Aya's soft inquiries changed to a scream. She called me, screaming my name, but I couldn't move. I couldn't move.

I woke up with a start, my heart beating rapidly. I was alone in a small room behind the shop where I was supposed to write a list of deliveries for tomorrow. Through a small window I could see a street lighted up by the late afternoon sun. I had to sleep at least for three hours.

I thought that it was just dream, that it wasn't real. But I couldn't shake it of. It had been a week since Aya-chan disappeared and I stopped to wait for Schwarz's demands. Instead of it, I began to fear every day, dreading to hear about her death. I couldn't imagine, what they would want Aya-chan for, if not for controlling me. The possibility, that they decided to kill her just to satisfy their whims, was getting more and more real. I wasn't able to sleep without hearing her calling my name.

I stood up and only then noticed a blanket which covered me. I caught it before it fell on the floor. Someone had to enter the room without waking me up. I shouldn't be surprised by it. Sleepless nights left me completely exhausted and irritated. Omi tried to avoid me, not speaking to me at all, even though I had the feeling, that he just trying to give me some space and that he would change his behaviour if he found it necessary. Ken maintained the same attitude he had from the first time we had learned about the kidnap: something between an interest and logical observation. Maybe he understood me best, knowing that I couldn't stomach his concern right now. And Kudou… After our talk we tried to ignore each other. He was going out every night when there wasn't a mission and sometimes even after it. At first I didn't care at all but then it started to annoy me and I barely managed to keep biting comments under a disinterested façade. I wasn't interested in his help, but he could at least arrive to work on time. We just rubbed each other up the wrong way as usual. Except…

Except that the blanked bore his scent. A cigarette smoke mixed with his cologne. And on the desk lay the completed list of deliveries.

I didn't like it. It was out of order.

"Aya-kun?"

I sighed. So Omi knew I'd been sleeping or he would come inside instead of calling me.

"Yes?"

"We're closing the shop for today."

"Hm." For a while I was wondering if I should take the blanked with me or just ignore the whole thing. At the end I grabbed it.

Kudou was standing behind the counter counting the money we had earned today. I went straight to him, giving him the blanked back. He took it without any word looking nonchalantly as usual, but his eyes were guarded. For the first time I noticed dark rings under them.

"You should take a break. I'll finish this with Omi," I stated unexpectedly. Originally, I wanted to leave without any word, but his appearance threw me off balance. And maybe that I was little in his debt…maybe.

He stared at me in disbelieve, completely stunned. Then he silently nodded and took off his apron. The whole way to the door he threw unsure looks over his shoulder as if he anticipated an attack or something.

I turned around and caught Omi gazing at me measuringly. I scowled at him and hurried him to work.

Outside began to rain.

I was standing at the window watching the rain and sipping my tea. Yoji wasn't the only one, who was tired. Omi didn't look much better. He was usually exhausted like this when we had a hard mission and he needed to stay up far into the nights to work on in. But we hadn't received any difficult missions since Aya-chan had been kidnapped, partly due to my refusal to participate in them. So… he was probably trying to find out some information on his own. And the constant tension among us and between me and Kritiker didn't help either.

I wasn't a social person but knowing my teammates was the necessity. I was used to observe them even though I always tried to keep my distance.

I heard a muffled burst of laugher. Yoji had convinced Omi and Ken to watch some comedy. He tried to persuade me too, but I refused and retreated into my room. The idea that I would entertain myself while Aya-chan was suffering was unacceptable. But I began to feel restless. Maybe a walk would calm me down a little.

I grabbed my coat and keys. As I descended the stairs I could hear the television:

"Oh, what are we doing risking our lives for a runaway princess? I know we need the money…"

"Listen. We're not just doing this for money… We're doing it for a shit load of money!"

I shook my head and headed to the back door. As I closed it I heard: "Uh-huh, not if we jam it."

The cold rain helped to steady me. The world was gray and deserted. It suited my mood. I walked through empty streets without any destination, letting my mind go free. The fragments of my past emerged before my eyes.

Turn to the left…my sister's smiling face. A big puddle before me…home in ruins. Light of a lonely car… hollowness. A cold wind…first blood on my hands. Drops of rain rolling down my cheek…an empty bed. A girl running before rain…Sakura…

I came to a halt. Sakura used to visit me everyday I was in the shop, trying to chat with me, but in the last three or four days she hadn't come. She proved to be very persistent and stubborn in that habit so it would be strange for her to suddenly change her mind. Of course, she might have realized that nothing was going to happen or just became obsessed with someone else…

With a sight I headed back. Probably I was just being paranoid.

Upon a time I arrived home I was dripping water so a hot shower sounded good. It would be also pointless to interrupt their fun just because of this and I needed to change anyway.

After a shower I tried to read a book but without success. Finally I could hear them climbing the stairs.

I put the book away and went to meet them, but with my hand on the knob, I hesitated. Suddenly it felt stupid to tell them this. I could imagine Yoji's reaction. And they were…giggling.

"What?" shouted Omi. "You went over my helmet?"

"I see that your Schwarzt is as big as mine," snickered Yohji.

What the hell?!

"Shut up," told Ken but it was good-natured.

"Good night," chuckled Omi.

"Good night, Yogurt," answered Yoji and closed his door.

Ken and Omi also went to their rooms and before long everything was silent.

I stood still pondering upon the new absurdity my life turned on. And in the middle of the process I realized that Yoji didn't go out this night.

We were sitting around the table, having a lunch together. Sunday was the only day we usually managed it. I was eating automatically without taste. I didn't sleep enough and was in a really bad mood. The others tried to ignore it with a long-term practice.

"Sakura didn't come to the shop in the last few days," I said abruptly.

They looked at me, curious. Then Yoji smiled. Great.

"Why, Aya," he said, "do you miss her already?" His voice had that sugar-sweet tone which made my teeth grind.

"No, but it's unusual."

They blinked at me in surprise.

"Aya-kun…" began Omi.

"Don't tell me that you was so all beside yourself of it you didn't hear her," said Ken bluntly. "She told you she was going away on holiday. I couldn't hear where. And she asked you to write her. You hm-ed her."

Really? I didn't remember that, but I couldn't think about anything else than my sister at that time and was used to Sakura's babbling… Still, it gave me creeps.

Yoji smirked, opened his mouth…and closed it again due to Omi's kick. Good for him, I wasn't in the mood to tolerate his silliness.

"Hm," I told and stood up. I had enough.

I was standing in front of a fresh grave, empty-handed. Without any flowers because this gesture was meant for living people, to make them feel better. It had no significance for the body, which lay inside.

Botan had lost as much as I but he still fought, still had believed in what he had been doing. And he lay down his life for me.

So, what was I supposed to do now?

"You can always start making paper planes," said the voice behind me caustically.

I swirled around, attacking him almost at the same time. Schuldig dodged and then there was a gun pointed at me. We came to a halt. I was looking at the gun, contemplating to attack him anyway.

"Go on," he said. "Make his death as meaningless as was his life. This is so appropriate place for that."

I slowly lifted my eyes from the gun to his face. He raised an eyebrow mockingly, eyes hard and cold almost the same way they had been in my dream. He was wearing a violet bandanna which clashed with his hair horribly.

"Says Mr. Orange Sweater," he sneered.

"Where is my sister?" I asked, fighting with myself to stand still.

"So now you even dream about me?" he said mockingly, ignoring my words. "What was the dream about?"

I refused to give him the answer thinking about anything else. After a while he shrugged and tilted his head to side, glancing at the grave. I was itching to assault him but he focused his attention at me again immediately.

"You even won't try to defend him? How disappointing."

"Where is my sister, you bastard." I didn't realize I was moving until I heard the click of safety catch. I froze.

"You two had a lot of things common," he said calmly, lips curled in a cruel angle, "shared the same streak of sacrifice."

"Bullshit," I snarled.

"Is it? He'd lost hope a long time ago. Simply existing without a real belief in regaining what he'd lost but also without the courage to acknowledge it. After all, it was far easier to stay in that dream than try to find a new purpose in life. He could always hide by the conception of a noble quest, killing villains and sacrificing his life for someone he'd known so shortly. He gave you something, which had lost its meaning for him a long time ago."

He seemed to be amused by this idea. I didn't believe a word of this trash.

"Ah, but you should. After all, I knew him better then you did," he teased. "Yet, there is still one question I have to wonder upon – if he'd ever had a real chance, would he destroy it like you want to?"

I tensed.

"It should be me, who would crush that last hope that still remained. Doesn't it sound familiar?"

Pain paralyzed my whole body and I dropped down to my knees. Through a blurry vision

I could see his boots right before me. As the pain lessened a little, I realized that I had lunged at him. I didn't hear a gunshot so this had to be some kind of telepathic attack.

"You want to kill your sister. Not directly, of course, but the way which would cost her much more than a quick death by your sword. You'll let her rot alive. And for what?"

"You won't wake her up," I chocked out. "You're just playing your sick games."

"For what?" he asked again.

"For killing you," I gritted. "Because such beast as you should have never existed."

He laughed. I hated the very sound of it.

"You take that conception of knight hunters too literally. C'mon, don't tell me, that you are so fucking naïve to really try to save the world. Maybe you get lucky and manage to kill me. What would that change? Behind me stand thousands of other beasts and some of them are even darker than I."

I kneeled before him, hating him and myself for that paralysis which prevented me from killing him. For my weakness, for the fact that I wasn't even able to lift my hand.

"Hate is good," he said after a while. "It'll help you to survive through things you would never do otherwise."

The boots disappeared from my line of vision and I heard his steps heading to the exit of the graveyard.

"See you soon, knight hunter."

When I came back they immediately noticed that something had happen. I didn't reply to any of their question, lost in my own thoughts. But then I felt a hand on my shoulder, a light supporting touch and looked up. Green eyes were full with worry and his hand radiated warm. I shook it off.

When I later realized for what Schwarz wanted my sister and when Sakura shot at me, I clung to that hate.