Author's note: Hey everyone, so I am extremely excited to share this story with all of you, and am really looking forward to your reactions and reviews, so please, please, pleaseee let me know your thoughts as you read this. Some might think that your words are just words, but I seriously read every single review and they motivate me to continue. So please leave feedback!

Also, a small note: Every sequence in italics is a flashback. Anything else is present tense, just so you're not confused.

But anyway, I hope you enjoy the beginning of this story :)

Preface

I never gave much thought to how valuable the power of memory could be.

Those moments when you are having a simple conversation with someone, and start to feel a sense of déjà vu, like you've experienced the exact same conversation once or twice before.

Or simply just comparing birthdays as you've grown up, retelling your first kiss, or the first time you wore makeup. Revisiting an old high school and imagining yourself by your locker, just as you remembered it.

Being able to reiterate all the events leading up to your child's birth, and the way you felt the first time you held him in your arms.

Understanding why you chose to take the paths you did, and being able to explain your reasoning for your decisions.

I never gave much thought to these things before, but I'd give anything to remember them now.

In a split second my entire life changed, and all that I ever knew, and all I ever experienced… was suddenly gone.

Chapter One: In a Split Second

*(8:00pm - 5 hours before the accident)*

"Did you get the address?" I shouted as I carefully applied the last stroke of mascara on to my eyelashes.

I was leaning over the small sink in the bathroom, trying my hardest to put my makeup on with such a limited amount of arm space.

I recently took up an offer from Leo, Ben's dad, to stay in a small studio apartment, walking distance from Hudson University, which I recently began attending in the last two weeks.

I was grateful for the apartment, which was free of charge, but I had to admit that it was quite cramped, and I was almost sure that my bedroom closet in California was much bigger than the tiny little bathroom I had in this apartment. However, I made the best of it, trying my hardest to organize my things in such a tiny space.

"218 Sullivan Street", Ben said, shouting from the small living/bedroom area, "it's located in Greenwich Village, about twenty minutes away from here"

I placed my mascara back inside the small pink makeup pouch I kept in the drawer beneath my sink, and made my way into the living room almost ready to go.

"Are you sure you want to drive Ben?" I asked, while pulling a sweater out of my closet, "we can just take the subway you know"

Ben's eyes were lost as he stared directly at me; he hadn't said a word since I walked out of the bathroom. I guess my outfit through him for a loop, which he probably wasn't expecting.

"No", he said, while swallowing hard, trying to shake his stare away, "I don't mind, but Amy, uh, wow, you look… great"

I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye, with a small smile. I felt confident around Ben; he thought I was gorgeous, no matter what I wore or how I looked. I sometimes wonder if maybe that's why I enjoyed his company so much, because it built my self-esteem, and he always assured me I was beautiful.

I wasn't trying to lead him on though, and I had made it very clear that we were only friends since moving here from California, but Ben, well, he was persistent to say the least.

I pretty much ignored it though, and I was just used to it by now. He basically trailed behind me my entire senior year, throwing digs out about how I wasn't happy with Ricky, and that I wouldn't get married, and I would end up in New York with him.

I've just learned to deal with his stubbornness, and not for nothing, but technically he was right. I didn't get married, and well I ended up in New York, so I guess he wasn't that far off; however, I wasn't looking for a relationship with Ben either. I just wanted to have fun, enjoy my college years, and finally be able to be a normal teenager verging on young adult.

Of course it wasn't easy making that decision though. I had to leave John behind with Ricky, which was probably the hardest part of this, but I knew he was okay with Ricky. Ricky was a good dad, and he would have made an excellent husband, but our hearts weren't in it, or at least mine wasn't. I just needed to find myself. I wanted to experience life outside of my comfort zone, and well Ricky, he was my comfort zone.

I know it's ideal that a teen mom ends up with the baby's father and he steps up and takes care of them, and offers to marry her in order to raise their child, but I didn't want just an offer, I wanted passion,I wanted to want to get married, for other reasons then just John.

"Thanks Ben" I said, trying not to laugh at his googling eyes, but a small chuckle just slipped through my lips.

Ben realized quickly, and I think he felt slightly embarrassed, as I watched his cheeks turn a light pink shade right before he looked away.

"Do you want to get something to eat first?" I said, trying to change the conversation, and make him feel a bit more comfortable, "I'm sure the club won't be much fun until later"

"Yeah, I'm actually really hungry", he said, "there is a new Buffalo Wild Wings that opened up a couple blocks from here"

"Really?" I said, darting my eyes up in excitement, "let's definitely go there!"

Ben laughed at my excitement, but I loved wings, and he knew that for sure.

"Alright then", he said, still chuckling, "are you ready now?"

"Yeah, let me just call Ricky real quick" I said, while searching for my cell phone in my bag, "I like to call to speak to John every night before he goes to bed, but since we'll be out late tonight, I'm going to just call him now"

Ben nodded in agreement, but I could see his expression change the minute I said Ricky's name, but once again, I was beginning to get used to that.

Finally I found my phone, somewhere in the bottomless pit of my bag, and began scanning through my contacts for Ricky's number.

"Do you mind starting up the car?" I asked, "I'll just be a couple of minutes"

Ben shook his head yes, and made his way out the door, although I think he secretly wanted to hear what I would say to Ricky.

I hit the send button, and after the second ring, Ricky picked up.

"Hello?" he answered, sounding irritated as usual.

"Hi Ricky, I was just calling to talk to John" I said, ignoring his tone of voice.

"Right now Amy?" he said, "We're about to eat dinner"

"I know it's early, but I'm not going to be home later, and I just want to say goodnight to him before he goes to sleep"

"Hmm, another night out?" he said sarcastically, "I thought you're there for school?"

"Yes, I am here for school Ricky" I said defensively, "and for your information, this is the first night I am actually going out anywhere"

"You mean, besides hanging out with Ben all night long?" he responded sharply.

"You don't know what you're talking about Ricky!", I shouted, "and besides, I don't think that is any of your business anyway!"

The words just fell out of my mouth, and I instantly regretted saying them. I cared a lot about Ricky, and I really didn't want to hurt him. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do to him. He was extremely hurt already by my decision to go to New York, and the last thing I wanted to do was make him think I was insensitive about everything that happened between us also.

I expected him to either yell something back at me, or just simply hang up the phone on me, but he didn't. He just remained silent, and I knew my words cut him like a thousand knives.

"Ricky, I'm sorry", I said softly, "I didn't mean that"

I thought I heard him sniffle, but he didn't respond, instead, he just said "here's John".

I felt horrible, and I wished I could take back those last words.

"Mama", John babbled into the phone, and instantly my heart melted.

"Hi John, it's me, it's mommy" I said, as a smile beamed across my face.

"Hi Mama", he said.

"Are you eating dinner with Daddy?" I asked, innocently.

"Yeah"

"Good. I just want to say that I love you, and I miss you, and goodnight okay?" I said, feeling a wave of sadness run through me.

"Okay. Love you Mama. Goodnight" he said, and my heart just melted.

"Bye baby" I said, and then waited for Ricky to return to the phone, but he never did.

I heard the call disconnect in my ear, and initially I wanted to call him back, and try to apologize again, but I knew he probably didn't want to talk any longer, and plus, Ben was waiting for me in the car anyway.

I shoved the cellphone back into my bag, and quickly hurried out the door, leaving behind my entire past in that small studio apartment…

I can hear a vague voice coming from somewhere, but for some reason I am unable to see anything. I don't even know what is going on right now, or where I even am, all I see is darkness.

Am I dreaming?

I could have sworn I was just inside Ben's car, maybe I am asleep, and maybe this is a dream.

My body feels extremely hot, and my throat is so dry I could probably drink a gallon of water right now.

Is this normal? To wonder whether or not you're dreaming, while your dreaming?

"Mam can you hear me?"

I can hear the voice in the distance again, but suddenly the blackness fades and I'm racing down the streets of Manhattan in Ben's car, the top is descended, and I can feel the wind blowing through my hair.

There aren't any other cars in sight, but I can see yellow taxi cabs parked along the streets. People are running, but I have no idea what is going on.

I am just watching as I pass them by, becoming more and more curious of what is occurring.

I look over at the driver's seat, and realize that there isn't anyone driving the car. I don't see Ben anywhere, and the car is just driving itself.

I feel my heart racing as I begin to panic, trying anyway to bring the car to a stop, but I can't manage to do it.

The brake isn't working, and the car just begins to rev even faster. I can feel my blood surging through my veins, and my heart is beating so fast, it feels like it may burst out of my chest.

Suddenly I see a massive while light approaching the car, flying directly towards me.

I can't move, and every single part of my body goes limp. I just stare into the light as it approaches the car, unable to say or do anything.

An explosion of some sort is occurring, and now the blackness has returned. The same darkness I saw before.

"We're losing her"

Someone is shouting, but I can't locate them.

Who are we losing?

I don't understand what is going on. If this is a dream, than why am I not waking up?

Suddenly I feel a massive wave of electricity run through my entire body. It feels as if I'd been struck by lightning.

"One", someone shouts.

Again, it shoots through my veins like poison, making every part of my body jolt.

"Two" the faceless voice says again.

Please stop, please, what are you doing to me?

I try to plead, but I don't know where my voice is. I can't speak, what is happening.

Suddenly the jolt pulsates through me again, and this time everything just goes blank.