A Journey Fulfilled Chapter 2: Had to move on, a rurouni kenshin fanfic

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing, but I definitely don't want that kind of artistic responsibility.

Kenshin sat against the futon with years of memories sprawled in front of him

"Tomoe, I do not know what brought you here, nor do I want to know. All I can be sure of is that I was an idiot to let old feelings emerge and take them as the real thing. I did love you once, but that was before you left me for Akira. Now, I have gone and done the same thing to Kaoru. I promised myself I would never let anyone else feel that kind of pain, and I lied."

"Kenshin…"

"Tomoe, we made a lot of mistakes and neither of us will ever be able to fix them. What I have with Kaoru surpasses anything we could have hoped for in each other. Even I can be honest about that. You are my ex-wife and that is that. I'm sorry."

Kenshin sat against the futon with years of memories sprawled in front of him, pictures spanning form their first encounter to the just two months ago. He felt the emptiness inside without Kaoru beside him.

Kaoru, I need you my love. I'm a fool and I do not deserve you, but I need you. Please come home to me.

He saw something different in her eyes as he looked at the pictures before him. He had always thought she was beautiful but he realized for the first time how empty her eyes were. She had never been fulfilled in that town. He felt the sorrow creep inside him as he realized she wouldn't be coming home to him. The world seemed a bit greyer as he sat alone holding the photos of the one girl he had desperately loved and how foolish he had been to take her gentle heart for granted.

"Hi, I'm Kenshin." Wow, that sounded way lamer out loud,

She smiled, "Kaoru. Nice to meet you, Kenshin. Would you like a seat?"

He smiled back, "I would love one."

She felt someone standing in front of her and at first was afraid to look up. She heard the concerned voice of the quiet man in front of her. "Miss are you alright?"

She looked up slowly to see the gentlest face she had ever seen, his skin like ivory and his eyes full of life. He was in essence, beautiful. He scanned her back and forth looking for a sign that she was ok. She smiled at him and nodded slowly.

"Are you sure?"

She smiled brighter at the question. After so many nights of feeling alone he was the first to actually talk to her.

She responded, "I'm sure."

"If you don't mind me saying, I think you are far too beautiful to be crying in such a place as this."

She blushed at his kindness, "I'm afraid I don't know how to enjoy the magic of this place." She placed her face back into her hands as the flood of sadness took over.

He did not enjoy seeing this stranger cry, but was unaware what to do to make her tears stop. "Perhaps, a good cup of coffee and a tour of this beautiful city might cheer you up. What do you say?"

She was unsure what to think of him, was he hitting on her? He noticed her unease as he spoke, "No worries beautiful lady. I quite prefer men myself. Kamatari at your service if you would be so sweet as to oblige me."

She smiled shyly at his boldness, "Well then we have something in common."

He smiled as he took her hand and slipped it the crook of his elbow.

Original Message

From: Kaoru

To: Megumi

Subject: Leaving France

Meg,

I know you are all worried about me. Hell, I'm worried about myself. Please don't fret any longer. You have the baby to worry about and I know Sano would not approve of anything other than you lying in bed. Even though we both know that will never happen. Tell Misao I am thinking of her. I have found my destination. A lot has changed these past two weeks. The weak little girl I was ceases to exist, and yet I don't know what that makes me. I love all of you so very much and I just wanted to say thank you for all the things you have done for me. No matter how many times you and I rub each other the wrong way you are still like a sister to me. I'm not sure when I will return home, at this time it's the last thing I want. For now, know that I am safe and that I love you so much. I will write again soon. Computer access might be hard for the next few days.

Tell Kenshin to be happy with Tomoe, ok?

--End message--

Tell Kenshin to be happy with Tomoe. Megumi closed the laptop with shaky hands. She wanted nothing more than to have that dumb raccoon back here with all of them, but the sister part of her knew that this was a journey Kaoru needed to take. She had been through so much in her young life. Losing her father and her mother. Guarding her heart as long as she did, it was a miracle she was able to love Kenshin at all. Megumi knew she was not coming home soon, but knowing that did not make it any easier to accept.

Kamatari stopped at the entrance of her hotel, "Thank you for a wonderful cup of coffee. I hope we can meet again soon. I believe the muse I have been waiting for has finally stepped in front of me."

She smiled uneasily, "I'm not sure what you mean by that, but another cup of coffee would be nice."

"Wonderful, I'll be here tomorrow, same time."

"See you tomorrow, then." She smiled as she turned and made her way into the hotel.

Paris had given each of them a gift neither was even aware of, but at that moment she was smiling on them. Sure to follow along on their journey to peace.

"You mean you came here on a whim all by yourself?" Kamatari asked incredulously.

"Yes," Kaoru replied ashamed.

"You are lucky I found you before some crazed lunatic did," he said rather proud of himself.

"Some crazed lunatic? Says the crazed man that has called me a beauty to behold sine he met me," she smirked out in reply.

He had a pleasant laugh as he looked at her tenderly. "You will understand what it is you are one day."

"Who am I then? I feel so confused, a part of me living in New York, a part of me searching for something here. I feel so incomplete."

"You must find out who it is you want to be Kaoru by first finding out what has made you what you were and are."

The restaurant was quiet for a Thursday night. Kenshin sat across from Misao and Aoshi while Megumi and Sano sat next to him. Thursday nights were their ritual dinner, all three couples catching up on each other's week.

There was an elephant in the room this time though, as the silence was symbolic for the things everyone wanted to acknowledge but no one wanted to say.

Kenshin spoke first, "Have any of you heard from her?"

Sano looked hesitantly at his wife who had her hands resting on her pregnant belly. She caught his gaze slowly, "She emailed last week and let me know that she was ok. She said she was leaving France but she did not say where she was going. She told me…" she trailed off at the gentle urging of her husband. Sano grabbed her hand, as she was about to mention the part about Tomoe. He loved Kenshin and Kaoru was like a sister. He did not want to hurt him even more.

Her sudden stop was not unnoticed by anyone, especially Kenshin who was trying to digest everything he was hearing. "What else did she say, Meg?"

Megumi sighed, "She told me to tell you to be happy with Tomoe, Kenshin. She was completely and utterly broken. I do not know how you managed to single-handedly hurt that girl as much as you did."

Kenshin's heart ached at her words and he stood to leave. Megumi spoke, "Ken, wait, I'm sorry. I'm just upset and I wanted to blame someone. I'm sorry, please stay."

"No, you're right Meg. I broke the heart of the only woman who could make me whole, and now I don't even know where she is or if I'll ever see her again. You have every right to be mad."

He shook his head as he stuck his hands in the pockets of his blazer, "Look guys. I need to walk, have a good dinner without me. I'll see you next week."

Misao nudged her husband then, "Go with him love, he needs you."

Aoshi gave Sano a knowing look as both men looked at their wives and stood to follow their friend out the door.

Misao looked at Megumi, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, "What are we going to do Meg? She is so stubborn, she won't come home soon."

"We have to let her grow up Misao and find the peace and fulfillment she has been longing to find. We should have seen it sooner. We are all at fault for what happened. Now we get to respect her and let her heal from all the grief that has followed her through life."

Misao nodded her head in agreement, "Come on Meg, I'll take you home so you don't have to waddle."

Megumi smirked, "You carry twins and then you can joke about waddling."

"Twins!" Misao managed to squeak out before excitement took over her and she nearly tacked Megumi with her hug. "Oh my goodness, Meg! Twins! Just wait until those babies are born. You thought your husband was protective now."

Oh, I know. Boy do I know, Megumi thought to herself. That man is going to be beside himself if they turn out to be girls.

He dreamt of her that night, her raven hair casting a serene halo against the white of the pillowcase. He dreamt she was beside him, the heat of her body warming him—comfort. In his mind he knew he was dreaming, but he wanted nothing more than to feel her beside him like she had been for so long. He'd stay asleep until the day she came home if he could.

"Kao love?" Kamatari looked at her curiously.

"Hmm?" she replied.

"Are you going to eat anything or are you going to continue abusing that pancake with your fork?" He questioned her sarcastically.

She lifted her head as the fog in her mind cleared, "He was my best friend, Kam. I feel empty. I thought he loved me, I thought we were going to end up happy. Now I feel like I never really knew anything about him at all. It all feels like a lie. How do I know he ever even loved me?"

Kamatari swallowed hard at her words. He wasn't quite sure what to say to her, nor did he want to say anything that might make her even more sorrowful than she already was.

She lowered her head back to her plate, mind hazy in thought. "I know you don't know what to say, Kam. I don't know either. All I know is that I loved him and I thought he loved me too."

They sat in silence the rest of breakfast. Kamatari had seen the sorrow in her eyes that day he met her on the street. He had wanted to take her in and be a pillar of strength for her. He hardly knew her, but he was so drawn to the woman of such passion. In her eyes was every emotion that person could contain. She was the epitome of strength. She just didn't know it yet. He did though, and he would do everything he could to bring that scared woman out of the shadows and into the splendor of her light.

One month later…

"Ken?" Sano knocked gently on the door of the apartment; seeing it was unlocked he walked inside.

Kenshin looked up from where he was sitting on the couch.

"Ah, so you are home," Sano breathed deep, not sure how to broach the upcoming conversation.

"What's up, Sano?"

"Just dropped in to see what you were up to…and to escape my crazy hormonal wife."

"Sano, she's not crazy, she's pregnant."

"Aren't they the same?" Sano ran his fingers nervously through his hair. This was going to be harder than he thought.

Kenshin picked up on his nervous habit. After years of friendship he knew something was up. "San—o?" He drew out knowingly. "Why are you really here?"

"What do you mean, really? We're friends, I wanted to come over and see how you're holding up in your self-pity."

"And?"

Sano took a deep breath, his curiosity was getting the best of him, and he really had to know before he drove himself crazy, so he went for it, "What did you do with it Ken?"

"What did I do with what, Sa…? Oh…" He replied realizing the question. "It's in the drawer where it's been since I got it, Sano. I will keep it there until she comes back. She has to come back."

Sano sat down beside his friend, "And what if she doesn't, Ken? What will you do with it then?"

"It's hers, Sano. It rightfully belongs to her. I'll keep it safe as long as I have to, until I can give it to her. However long that may be."

"Ok, Ken," Sano gripped his friend's shoulder tightly before standing up. "I think I should get back to the Mrs." He smiled before he left, closing the door without saying another word.

Kenshin wasn't really sure what to do with himself. He had tried everything he could to forget about it, but his efforts were futile. He walked slowly to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. The clock on the nightstand glared at him mockingly. He was resisting the desire to open the drawer. He was in denial--deep and steady denial.

He opened the door and picked up the velvet box. How could I let it all falter? Where was my resolve? His shaky hands opened the box to reveal to simple engagement ring sitting inside. A wonderful sapphire, a representation of her, set in a simple and timeless band. He took the ring out of the box and held it like that until the tears started to flow.

I need to get out of here, he thought to himself. He placed the ring back in the box and put it in his pocket. A walk…I need a walk…

Kamatari walked Kaoru back to her hotel. It was afternoon, and the sun was out. They had spent the day walking around the local area. Scarf still around her neck she walked silently as the breeze carried her long black hair behind her.

Kamatari was the first to break the silence; "Maybe we can go for a nice drive tomorrow? What do you think? You need to see the beauty of this place."

She smiled at his persistence. He wasn't going to let her wallow. He had been such an amazing friend to her over the past month. She didn't know how she would have survived that first month here without his flamboyant presence. She wanted to be strong, she really did. She just didn't know how.

He nudged her to wake her from her daydreaming. She smirked at him playfully. He really was a pest. "Ok, Kam. A drive it is."

He smiled at his victory. She was too amazing to be anything but strong.

"But." She broke into his thoughts, "No trying to get me to take pictures with cute Frenchman this time. I thought I was going to die of embarrassment yesterday, or heat exhaustion from my face being that red for so long."

"Ok, drama queen, but that one was rather cute if I do say so myself."

"Kam…" she warned.

"Ok, ok. NO cute Frenchman, but that does take away from the beautiful scenery on our drive tomorrow."

"Mhmm," she sounded in acknowledgement. "I'm sure it did."

He laughed at her playfulness. He wanted her to be strong. She was already so close to him he couldn't remember what it was like to not have her friendship. She was the sister he always wanted, and he was the family she was without on her journey away from home. They fit together perfectly.

He linked her arm with his then, "Come miss Kaoru, I shall escort you home to rest before our wonderful adventure tomorrow."

"I'm going to need it."

Kaoru sat at the desk in her hotel room. Kamatari was a wonderful friend, and a brilliant artist of distraction, but when she was alone she only felt the feelings emerge at full force. She missed him and yet she wasn't sure why.

She was on her hundredth attempt at writing a letter by the time she got so frustrated she threw her pen at the wall.

She was somewhere in between heartache and healing and she wanted nothing more than to move on, but there were so many questions she wanted answers to. She retrieved her pen from the floor and attempted to write again.

Kenshin,

I hope more than anything you have found what it is you are looking for. I want you to be happy, so much more than I care to write about at this moment, for I know you being happy means being without me. I wish I knew the reasons that you turned around. I mean, I know she is your ex-wife, but maybe I had hoped you had found a new life in me, in us. I just want to know what happened. When and where things turned awry for you.

I felt it you know. When you started to bring up that wall between us. It scared me, and I guess if I hadn't been in such denial I would have said something about it. Maybe I would have my answers then. Maybe we would have talked about your decision to take Tomoe back. I'm angry you know. Angry at how weak you were, but then, I guess your first love never really does die, huh? Unfortunately for me, that was you.

I really do hope you find what it is you are looking for Kenshin. I need you to be happy more than anything, and maybe one day, when we are older and the wound in my heart has sealed, you can tell me what happened. Why you let me feel all the things you promised I never would. I hope your reasons are valid; I would hate to think you are weak. I love you Kenshin, and I fear I always will. All I know is that I must move on. I must move on…

The tears started to smear the ink on the paper. Move on…she couldn't wallow anymore. She had to move on. She had to find strength. Whatever it was Kamatari saw in her she wanted to see it too.

She folded the letter and sealed it in an envelope. She would never mail it, but at least now she had written the very emotions she was bottling up. And she knew now, that she was going to move on. She had to move on…