We keep this love in a photograph

We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing

Hearts are never broken

Time's forever frozen still

'Photograph' by Ed Sheeran

Saying goodbye to Samantha had been harder than Jack thought possible and seeing his Carter's face after he'd kissed Samantha had been harder still. Jack had been shocked to find how much it hit him in the solar plexus to see the look of deep hurt that flashed across Carter's face in the instant after he turned around to come back home. As he pressed his hand to the shimmering 'glass' of the mirror the look had gone from his Carter's face and she'd adopted her professional stance once more. It happened so fast that Jack was left questioning whether he'd seen the look at all. But now as he sat looking at the photograph in his hands for what seemed liked the hundredth time, Jack knew he'd seen that look. His feelings on this realisation were all over the place, one minute he was elated that Carter seemed to have feelings for him and the next he was terrified of what that might mean. Pursuing a relationship with Carter would mean a reshuffle of his life and hers of course, if she was willing. He would never expect her to give up her career for him, she was on a path to a flourishing career and he would not take that away from her for the world. The question was though would she be willing to take on a broken soldier who had so much baggage it could be clearly seen in his bearing every day?

"Am I disturbing you, sir?"

Jack looked up shocked that the object of his thoughts was standing in the doorway. He quickly slipped the photograph under a few sheets of paper hoping against hope she hadn't noticed he'd had something in his hand!

"Carter! I didn't hear you knock. What can I do for you?"

Even to Jack's ears that sounded forced and he winced as Carter raised a questioning eyebrow. Clearing his throat in an attempt to relieve some of the tension he was feeling Jack motioned for Carter to carry on with what was on her mind.

Now it seemed it was Carter's turn to be nervous as she started fidgeting as well as looking down at her hands. It was the last motion that melted Jack's heart and despite his smile he took pity on her and nudged her back to reality with a gently whispered "Carter?"

Sam started and looked up at the colonel with round eyes hoping he didn't know what she was just thinking about. As she had stood in the doorway she had caught her first glimpse of him looking down at something in his hand. Sam recounted the painful image of Jack kissing her alternate self and it left her wondering what it would've been like if she had been the one on the receiving end of that kiss! She had come to him with a different question in mind and now that she was here all she wanted to hear was how he was dealing with the events of the last couple of days. Sam knew from experience that this kind of thing freaked the colonel out and he must be so confused. She knew she was!

"Eh…sir, I was wondering…eh…how…you…that is…"

"What, Carter?"

The colonel had such a look of consternation on his face that Sam nearly lost her nerve. "Sir, you see the thing is…that is…I…eh…" Sam could feel herself getting redder with each passing moment but there was nothing she could do about it. "I…"

"Carter! Just spit it out, will you?"

"IwasjustwonderinghowyouweredoingsinceSamanthaleft?"

Carter had asked the question so fast Jack was unsure if he'd heard her right. It took him a moment longer than normal to answer, so much so Carter's face fell and she began apologising before he stopped her.

"Carter, relax. I wasn't sure how to answer that question. How are you doing with it all?"

"Have you got a few hours?"

Pleased that he'd deflected her question successfully he answered in the affirmative and laughed at her shocked expression.

His answer floored Sam. She had not expected that answer at all from the colonel. If anything she thought he'd make a quip and be done with it! Now what was she supposed to say?! That she was wondering ever since Samantha had turned up what it would be like to be with him? That ever since that kiss she had been insanely jealous of a woman who was, for all intents and purposes, herself. And it was this knowledge that confused her even more! How could you be jealous of another version of yourself?! Even thinking about it all confused Sam because she knew she shouldn't be having inappropriate feelings for her Commanding Officer. Especially because he was Jack O'Neill! Jack O'Neill, who when she first met him, made her catch her breath.

Jack slanted his head to the side and watched as Carter seemed to retreat into herself. There was a look on her face that he had become very familiar with over the years. It told him that she had a puzzle she needed to solve and she wouldn't come back to reality until that puzzle was solved to her satisfaction. The fact that he seemed to be the puzzle made him smile. He was curious as to what her eventual conclusion would be, if indeed she came to one. After about five minutes in this attitude, Jack felt it was time to give Carter a helping hand, as it were, so he shook her shoulder lightly so as not to startle her. He failed in that regard. She jumped like a deer caught in headlights.

"Sorry Carter I didn't mean to frighten you."

"It's ok, sir. I was away in my own world for a moment."

"I noticed."

Sam smiled at him and that in turn made Jack smile. He never got tired of looking at Samantha Carter. She brought him the kind of peace he had not known in quite a number of years. A peace he hoped to make a permanent fixture in his life one day. He also hoped for a love where his heart was never broken and that the memories they made would make time stand still. He longed for a life where he had not a care in the world. A life with someone who could complete him in ways he had not thought were possible until he met a sassy young captain who had guts enough to challenge him to an arm wrestle at their first meeting. He knew even then that she was more than a match for him!

"So, Carter; penny for your thoughts?"

"What, sir?"

"What were you just thinking about with that big brain of yours? It must have been something cool for you to lose it for a few moments, Carter."

At his words, Sam blushed scarlet and mumbled an answer which sounded like she thought her thoughts weren't all that interesting to him. Jack couldn't help but think that whatever just made his captain blush was well worth finding out!

TBC…