One was supposed to be upset when their co-worker died. One was supposed to cry, and have episodes of utter despair. Myka knew that, almost as well as she knew rules.

But she had never felt it.

Never before had she felt the claws of helplessness digging at her heart, like she did as she watched Claudia cry at his body. It was like a horror movie, played slower than ever before, with every sound scraping at her ears.

It wasn't Myka who should be upset, or at least that's what she reasoned. It was Claudia who was so attached to him, so devastated when he turned. It was Pete who didn't know how they would get through it. It was Artie whose aura changed.

But not Myka. Myka was stronger than everyone else. She could deal with it.

She would deal with it.

She had to deal with it.

Claudia was lost, and Pete was nearly there too. Even though he had tried to protect them from seeing, it didn't work. Now everyone was broken.

Not Myka. She knew they needed to get on with life. He may have been dead, but he had turned, and was as good as dead to her before, anyways.

But he hadn't turned. He wasn't a double agent for the other side, a liar. He was her friend, one who had risked his life to go undercover for them, finding out information. He had done exactly what he was told to, and then some.

He hadn't turned.

Myka knew she was being unfair. Not only to him and herself, but to the team.

He was dead, but she wasn't.

His life may be over, but his memories were still lingering. Myka, with her eidetic memory, Claudia with just a sweet heart, and a wicked good brain.

He would always be in their hearts, forever. He was gone, forever.

Never again would she hear his laughter, or see his smile.

His smile.

That's what she missed the most. Not only now, but when he'd first 'turned.' But even then, there was still a glimmer of hope. Still hope that he would return, whole, ready to be himself again. Ready to be who others needed him to be.

Now, there was no hope. He would never return.

Claudia was broken.

Pete was broken.

Myka? Broken.

Jinxy was dead.

Anyone would be broken.