Carla knocked on the door, her sense of reason now kicking in, making her rethink her decision. Last time she saw Gail she had slapped her across the face in the Bistro on her wedding day, there was no way she was going to let her into her house, to talk to her abused Granddaughter. However it was too late to turn back now, the door was opening.

"I heard you were back" Gail snapped viciously, just as Carla expected.

"The rumours were true I'm afraid"

"What do you want? Nick's gone, and even if he hadn't, I wouldn't let you anywhere near him"

"It's Bethany I've come to see actually" Carla explained, ignoring Gail's threat. It annoyed her the way she spoke to her but at the same time she kind of understood, she was protecting her son, and in Gail's position, Carla knew she would probably have done exactly the same.

Gail was about to shut the door in Carla's face when Bethany came to the door. "Ugh, what are you doing here? Bethany groaned, rolling her eyes up to the Heavens.

"I just wanted a quick chat Bethany" Carla replied, her hand firmly pressing the door open as a sharp pain shot across her abdomen. She doubled over, holding her stomach, desperately trying to get her breath back.

"Oh my God, are you ok?" Bethany panicked, rushing to grab hold of Carla's arm to steady her.

"Leave her love, she's a drama queen, she's putting it on for attention, playing the sympathy card. Well it's not going to wash with me" Gail sniped, but Bethany wasn't going to listen on this occasion.

"I'll be fine in a minute, just need to sit down" Carla smiled at Bethany reassuringly, not wanting to worry the girl more than she already had. "I could really do with some water?"

"Yeah course, come in" Bethany replied, wrapping one arm around Carla's waist, leading her to the sofa in the living room. She shot Gail a look that didn't require an answer.

"You've got half an hour, when I get back I want you gone, or you'll be sorry" Gail said through gritted teeth. She wasn't happy to leave them alone but knew she wasn't going to win against Bethany.

Bethany waited until the front door closed before she asked "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I had no idea what you've been through, I'm sorry" Carla smiled, the pain finally starting to ease.

"Why would you. Anyway, doesn't matter now does it, it's over and he's locked away"

"But it's not over though is it?" Carla began "It's there every time you close your eyes, every time you look at yourself in the mirror, when you're getting in the bath or shower, when you're undressed, and if you close your eyes long enough you can feel his hands on your skin. It's there when you step onto that street, every time a bloke looks at you, you want the ground to swallow you up, and as soon as you get close to someone, however much you know and love and trust them, you can't help feeling a little bit sick. You feel dirty and ashamed and worthless no matter how hard you try not to. You get in the bath, with the water so hot it almost burns your skin but you never feel clean. Deep down you know you're not to blame but there's a little voice in your head that keeps asking 'what if I hadn't have, or what if I had' and you try shutting it up but it's always there, when you're alone at night, in the dark, with your pillow" she began to squirm on the spot, reliving her own ordeal with Frank, her eyes starting to burn as she bit back the tears.

"You seem to know a lot about it?" Bethany asked, now sitting up and paying attention, with every detail sounding very familiar.

"I was raped, 7 years ago, by the man I was meant to be marrying" Carla admitted, losing her fight and letting a tear roll down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, not wanting to lose face.

Bethany was lost for words, she understood that words were never much of a comfort anyway. She stretched a hand out and curled her fingers around Carla's clenched fist, squeezing it companionably. She smiled knowingly at the woman beside her. "I'm so sorry Carla, I had no idea"

"It's ok, long time ago now" Carla tried brushing it off, saving herself from breaking down if she admitted it wasn't ok at all.

"What happened to him, is he in prison?"

"He's dead, his own mother killed him in the factory when she realised what her precious son really was" Carla hissed angrily, remembering how Anne and Frank had taunted her, played horrible mind games and tried to take everything from her.

"Oh my God, Carla, I am so sorry, that's awful" Bethany replied, not letting go of Carla's hand.

"You, are so strong and brave, you stood up in that court and got justice, that takes guts" Carla began, now turning to face Bethany, looking her straight in the eye and with her free hand she stroked a stray strand of Bethany's blonde hair behind her ear. "You are beautiful, and clever and kind and caring, you're a lovely girl, a lovely daughter and granddaughter and sister and you could be a lovely girlfriend to Craig" she continued as she stroked Bethany's cheek gently.

"Please Carla, don't"

"Don't what? Don't tell you the truth?" Carla asked. "Why, because you think you aren't any of those things? You think you aren't worth loving?"

"I'm not though" Bethany broke down "I went with him and those men because I'm stupid and shallow and I don't deserve to be loved"

"Oh darling, you really have no idea do you?"

"Idea of what?" Bethany asked, confused.

"You do deserve to be loved, because you are all of those things I said. And when I look at you, I don't see a victim, I see a headstrong little madam. And you know how I know that?" Bethany shook her head. Carla continued "Because I was once a headstrong little madam"

"And now you're the perfect princess I suppose?"

"Of course I am" Carla joked. "Seriously, we're not so different you and me. What happened to you was not your fault, it doesn't make you weak or pathetic or stupid or whatever else you tell yourself, that little voice in your head...gag it, don't let it speak again, it's lying to you. If you're the stupid one, what does that make those men eh? They clearly have problems with their heads, normal men don't go around forcing themselves on women because they can't get what they want. It wasn't your fault"

"It wasn't your fault either" Bethany soothed as she watched the emotion build up in Carla's eyes, a sight that was only visible to someone who had shared the same pain.

"Oh it was love, I dumped him the day before our wedding, he was angry"

"No, it wasn't, if he was angry he should have gone and punched a wall or something, he should never have hurt you!" Bethany exclaimed, angry at the thought of her new found confident being hurt and torturing herself with it. "You can't blame yourself Carla, you can't let him win"

Carla smiled, her plan finally coming together. "And neither can you. Every time that man enters your head, that's one thought too many you are wasting on him. He's rotting in jail, where he belongs, he is out of your life. You have people around you who love and care about you, focus on them. You think he spends everyday obsessing over you?"

"Well...no"

"No, exactly, so from this second on, that man, and all the others, they don't exist right? You have one life, it's all about the here and now, the past is the past for a reason, leave it there" Carla spoke firmly, her words an order.

"I'll try"

"No no no, trying isn't good enough, you will forget him, you will be happy" Carla ordered again.

"And what if I can't?" Bethany asked, doubting herself.

"Of course you can. You have so much to live for, you are so young, you have your whole life ahead of you, you can do anything you want to do"

"So you think I shouldn't be a lapdancer either then?" Bethany sighed, tired of people having and opinion on her career choice.

"Honestly, no I don't. Why would you want to put yourself in that situation?" Bethany shrugged. "Come on, tell me, make me understand, because right now, I don't"

"Because it's not like when I was with Nathan, this time I'm in control, those men, they can look, they can want me but they can't touch me, I call the shots now" Bethany tried to explain.

Carla shook her head. "What?" Bethany asked.

"You see, he is still controlling your life from behind bars isn't he?"

"No, I'm doing this for me" Bethany snapped, trying to defend herself.

"You are doing it because of him. If he hadn't have done what he did, you would never have even thought of entering that club would you?"

Bethany shook her head, knowing she wouldn't have. "I'm not telling you what to do, but you're a bright girl, you could do anything you wanted to. If you really want to move on, you need to leave that club, you need to forget Nathan ever existed. You have a lovely boyfriend who thinks the world of you, he is loving and sweet and gentle and he will do whatever you need. Him, your family and a better choice of career is what will see you through. Leaping from one bad decision to the next, pushing the people who love you away is not doing you any favours, believe me." Bethany sat silent for a minute, digesting Carla's words, she knew she was right.

"What did you do, to deal with it I mean?" Bethany asked, genuinely interested.

"I was angry for a long time, I pushed people away when they tried helping, I went to LA for a break, threw myself into work, then Frank and his mother tried taking the factory off me, they took my staff, my machines, my contacts, so I sacked my workforce, lost my clients, drank too much, had an affair with Peter Barlow, alienated half the street, shall I go on?"

"What changed? You seem...alright now"

"Peter changed me" Carla smiled, remembering how their relationship began. "I'd loved him for so long and after all that he wanted me, he was so gentle and patient and supportive and he got me through. I still had Michelle and she was a rock through it all. Then Frank died and I got my factory back and I threw myself into work, it was like I was given a second chance"

"But you're way smarter than me"

"No, I've grafted my whole life to be where I am, I started out on a council estate with my drunken mother, me and my brother had to fend for ourselves, didn't have two pennies to rub together, but I was determined not to turn out like her, so I worked, everyday, until I was my own person. I married Paul, Michelle's brother, got involved in the factory, then when him and his brother Liam died, I took it over. I've nearly lost it so many times but it's the one thing I am truly proud of, I can say I made that a success because I worked my backside off. If you want something enough, you work at it, and you don't give up until you get it, you keep your chin up, you really need to fake it to feel it and not let anyone get in the way. And if you've got a really big problem, you come and see me"

"It's that simple is it?" Bethany doubted.

"Nothing in this life is simple love, but the harder it is, the more worthwhile it will be when you achieve it. You're stronger than you know, you'll get there I promise. It's been 7 years for me and still Frank crosses my mind but I work, I distract myself and I forget much easier now. It takes time darling, stop being so hard on yourself"

"You're amazing you know, I'm sorry I was such a cow before" Bethany shuffled along the sofa, close enough to lean her head against Carla's shoulder.

"Yes I am pretty fabulous" Carla replied, stretching her arm around Bethany's shoulders. "I deserved it, what I did to Nick was unforgivable"

"You've already paid enough for that"

"Friends then?" Carla asked

"Friends" Bethany repeated, a smile spreading across her face. A key in the door disturbed the silence.

Carla jumped up "I better go before you gran bashes me over the head with her shopping bags" Her abdomen twinged at the sudden movement.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Bethany asked, still concerned.

"It's nothing, honestly I'm fine, stood up too quick that's all" Carla lied.

"If you're sure" Bethany seemed to have already learnt not to push her. Carla smiled and nodded as Gail entered the room.

"I'm just leaving Gail, don't worry" she held her hands up as she passed the smaller scowling woman. "You know where I am" Carla said to Bethany who nodded knowingly, standing up to join Carla.

"Carla" she called her back, Carla stopped in her tracks and turned. Bethany walked forward and whispered in her ear "You know where I am too" before kissing her cheek.

Carla left the house, feeling a sense of accomplishment that she may have actually helped the girl as well as a sinking sick feeling as she remembered every detail of the night Frank attacked her. 'Distraction, people, distraction' Carla whispered audibly to herself as a mantra, knowing she needed Michelle or Roy or someone to take her mind off of it, her old friend, the bottle of red no longer being an option.

As she entered the Rovers, Michelle was standing at the bar looking worried. Carla put on her best smile, 'fake it to feel it' she repeated in her head and proceeded to try forgetting about the last hour "Thought this was a party, not a wake!"