Season 2 AU. Jude is adopted, Callie isn't. They haven't found Robert yet. Takes place after they lose Frankie. Callie POV throughout the story. Please read and review! Enjoy!
Callie tossed a bag of dried pasta into the cart as Brandon scrolled through his phone to look for recipes.
"How do Moms do this every week? Planning meals is hard."
Callie shrugged as she looked around the store at the people passing by. They looked bored out of their minds. This was probably their regular shopping day. Their regular chore. Nothing abnormal happening in their life. Unlike her. Mariana had asked them to be quick. She didn't want to make the phone calls alone. Sharon had yet to even hear Lena was in the hospital, let alone about Frankie. Their house would soon be overrun with grandparents while Stef tried to take care of Lena and Lena tried to pretend nothing happened. Callie already knew there would be a blow up within a week. And what about school? Were they just supposed to go back tomorrow and pretend things were normal? Was she supposed to sit in Timothy's class and not think about how the baby he'd fathered was gone?
"Callie? You alright?"
Callie's gaze snapped to Brandon, standing a few feet ahead. When had she stopped pushing the cart? Had he been talking to her this whole time?
"Yeah," she nodded. "Just thinking about dinner. Maybe we should just order in tonight. Stef said she and Lena won't be home until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest anyway."
"Yeah, I guess," Brandon sighed. "Is this good then? Is it healthy enough?"
"I don't know Brandon. Honestly, I doubt Lena will have much of an appetite for a while anyway."
"She still has to eat, Callie."
"Doesn't mean she'll want to," Callie replied.
"Look, I don't need your attitude right now. I just need help figuring out meals."
"I think we're fine with what we've got. Let's just get home and start making the calls," Callie offered, trying to avoid a fight as she turned the cart towards the checkout lanes. Brandon followed beside her silently for a few moments before shaking his head at her.
"You're not the only one in a crappy mood right now, okay?" Brandon spat, giving her a glare.
"I never pretended to be," she bit back.
"Could've fooled me."
Callie pulled the cart to the side, not willing to continue pretending this argument wasn't about to happen.
"Have I once tried to make this about me? No. You have. So maybe you should quit trying to make everything my fault and just accept the fact that something bad happened that no one could control. Be mad about it. Be pissed. But don't try and make it my fault."
"You're the one who they've been stressing about with the adoption stuff. That can't have been healthy for the baby."
"Yeah, and you're the one who was in the hospital and wanted to get some crazy surgery! You were beat up and unconscious and you scared the hell out of Moms! Yeah, I'm costing them money right now. Probably too much, but what do you want me to do about that? Leave? Run away again? Because we both saw how well that worked out last time. There is nothing I can do about this stupid Robert Quinn situation until he's tracked down. So yeah, I'm causing financial stress and I'm sorry, but my birth parents are not my fault or my responsibility. But in the meantime you're considering a surgery that would wreck your hand. You're the one getting high and joining some garage band and throwing parties. You're the one who's giving up on your dreams and your future because of an accident. So who do you think is causing more stress in their lives right now? Huh? For me it's just money. For you it's all emotional turmoil as they pray their oldest son doesn't screw up his life! You can be pissed at the world all you want but you are not pinning this one on me. I will not be your punching bag."
Brandon stared at her, his face set in stone. Callie felt her lungs contract as she tried to control her breathing. It wasn't her fault. She didn't make Lena lose the baby. She didn't do that. She didn't have that power. And as she watched him turn away she felt a tinge of regret for voicing all of that, but let no apology loose.
"Screw you," he hissed, grabbing the cart and pushing it out. "Find your own way home."
"Fine," Callie called after him. She stormed passed the checkout lanes and through the exit, turning towards the street. Callie kept her pace as she moved down the street, not caring to take a bus. She was too angry to be still, too mad to be patient and silent. How could he blame her? Is that all she was in this family? A scapegoat? No. Stef and Lena cared. Jude did too. But how much would they still care while their minds were focused on the loss of their daughter. Their real daughter. The one they wanted. Callie was a foster kid. She was replaceable. She needed to stay good, so they would still want her. Good enough that they would follow through with the adoption.
Callie raced down the streets, finally slowing as she neared her neighbourhood. Brandon's car was there along with Lena's mother's. One set of grandparents was here. Mariana was probably on the phone with Sharon now and she'd be in soon too. Would they blame her too? Did Mariana or Jesus think she was at fault here? Jude? Maybe it was an underlying thing they all felt and Brandon was the only one willing to voice it.
Callie paused as she reached the porch. She sat on the swing out front, pushing slightly with her feet. She didn't want to go inside. It felt different now. Empty. It wasn't home without Stef or Lena asking how her day was, or calling her love and kissing her on the head. It wasn't home without the moms. Her moms.
"Callie? Sweetheart? Did you want to come inside?"
Callie raised her gaze to meet Dana's. She stood in the doorway with eyes filled with pity. Callie dutifully stood up and moved inside, but quickly became locked in Dana's embrace.
"I'm so sorry my love. I'm so sorry."
Callie could do nothing but stand there, feeling the arms around her and the tears soak her shoulder. She made no move to raise her arms and return the grip. She was numb to the hug she was receiving. Numb to it all.