Chapter 2
After about an hour of deliberation, she called Alexx. Knowing she'd have something to say that'd help her calm down a bit. Alexx was always like a mother to her, and since her own mother wasn't one for playing her role, she went to the next best thing. They'd agreed to meet for dinner around 7pm and decided they'd go somewhere with a bar since Calleigh clearly needed a drink.
Once Calleigh showed up she spotted Alexx immediately, knowing that she'd beat her there. She walked up to the table and greeted Alexx, giving her a hug and sitting across from her in the booth. Once Calleigh sat down Alexx wasted no time in getting to the reason why they were there.
"Okay baby, what's got you all strung up?" Alexx asked with a concerned look on her face.
"Oh, Alexx, I don't know what to do… I…" Calleigh started but was cut off by the waitress. Once they ordered their first round of cocktails- Alexx with her usual Malibu Bay Breeze, and Calleigh with a Mojito- they continued their conversation.
"Sorry, continue, honey." Alexx said.
"I honestly don't know what to do. I'm so lost." Calleigh said, putting her face in her hands as her elbows rested on the table.
"What are you lost about? I know you, Calleigh, nothing gets to you this bad unless it's life altering. So, what's up?" Alexx said.
"Alexx, I know I've told you things in the past that weren't exactly on par with the rules and the professionalism that I try to uphold. This time, though, it's much worse. I know I've broken rules before, stepped out to protect family, even dated co-workers like I swore I wouldn't. But I don't know how to handle this one." She said, dejectedly.
As the waitress placed their drinks on the table, Calleigh started sipping immediately, letting the alcohol coat her system and calm her a bit. Alexx watched her in awe, never having seen her friend this way. Alexx knew this had to be serious, for Calleigh to gulp down her drink the way she did, it was something big.
"Well, Calleigh, judging by the way you inhaled that drink, I can guess that you're not pregnant. So honestly, anything else is completely doable. I am all ears, baby girl. Start from the beginning." Alexx said, making Calleigh laugh.
"Oh God, no. If I were pregnant that'd be a whole different ball game. Trust me, I thank God every day for IUDs." Calleigh said giggling a bit.
"Okay there's that smile. Alright, so what is it then, give me a topic. We'll start there and work our way deeper." Alexx suggested.
"Love. And Work." Calleigh said shyly.
"Okay, honey. So, either, you have a crush on someone, or someone unexpected has a crush on you and you don't know how to handle either of these situations. Am I close?" Alexx said.
"How did you know that…?" Calleigh asked in awe of the fact that Alexx could read her that way.
"I've known you for how many years now? 10? 11? If I couldn't read you then I'd either be dumb or not paying attention. So, who is it?" Alexx asked sweetly.
"Um… it's Eric…" Calleigh trailed off, sipping the last bits of her drink, avoiding eye contact.
"Oh sugar... I get it now. So, who started this, you or him?" Alexx asked sympathetically.
"Him. It all started when I read his file from a case we were working. I wasn't supposed to see it, but I had to. His therapist got shot after her daughter was killed and it was a big mess, and despite my protests, Eric thought going through her files was the only way to find her killer. So, we did. And I had his file in my batch and when I read it, it said that he wanted to settle down and have a future with someone, and that it'd be nice if it were me." she said, clearly babbling out of sheer frustration. "And then, we had another case where this guy lost his memory and Eric was clearly taking it personally. So, I sat him down and we talked, and I told him that he wasn't alone and that the guy's current circumstances weren't his own, and that he'd always have support from the team and, more so, me. And he told me how much my friendship means to me, and kind of put me on the spot. Of course, I played it off like I didn't know he had feelings for me. But he threw me a curve ball by saying that I should know, because I read his file. Which I responded to by saying that it was an unrelated case and he I thought it was important to respect his privacy and not take advantage of the knowledge. You know? And he just kept pushing. Later that day, I confronted him. I asked him what he wanted and that if he knew he had to tell me straight up because I wasn't sure if he believed it fully, or if he just liked the idea of being with me. Because he was insinuating some pretty heavy feelings, Alexx. I just don't know how to go about this. How to process that my best friend of 10 years and my partner is potentially in love with me. I mean I depended on his friendship all these years and if we try this and I lose him, then I lose him as a friend and a boyfriend and nothing will ever be the same. BUT if I don't go for it, I'm gonna be left wondering forever whether or not he was it. I mean, I have no doubt that Eric would treat me well and love me how I deserve to be, but I just don't know if I should risk it." Calleigh explained.
Alexx looked at Calleigh with all the sympathy in the world after taking in all of this information, she decided that the only way to guide Calleigh was to be her therapist without her knowing it.
"Okay, that is a lot of information. Let's start, I guess, by me asking some questions to fill in some spots, okay?" Alexx asked.
"Okay." Calleigh said.
"First, when did this all start happening, or better yet, when did you start to notice that Eric had feelings for you?" Alexx questioned.
"Well I guess I always knew there was something there, but I always assumed his flirtatiousness was his personality. But I really noticed when I was with Jake and he started getting jealous and acted almost childlike. I knew there had to be some feelings in him but he never blatantly said it, so I assumed I was being vain and wrote it off. I just assumed he really didn't like Jake because of past knowledge and things he'd done the first time we were together. It really became apparent, though, when Jake and I ended things, Eric would make little comments like 'if it were me, I'd have taken the night shift,' implying that I was worth more to him than his job. Which, I guess should be admirable, and should've been a dead giveaway, but once again I wrote it off as him being friendly and trying to make me feel better after my shit boyfriend dumped me." Calleigh said, only stopping to order food.
Once they ordered Alexx pressed a little further.
"Okay, and the real beginning to when you noticed these feelings were when? When you read his file? Or what?" She pressed.
"Well… not exactly." Calleigh started. "After I got kidnapped, Eric was so kind and he took me home and refused to leave me alone. Even when… I got upset…" She lied.
"Upset…? What did you two do? Because I feel like I know where this is going." Alexx said sassily.
"When I would wake up in the middle of the night, cold sweat, disoriented, all that. He would come into my room and comfort me… He'd wake up from a dead sleep just because he heard me yell." Calleigh said, her gaze drifting off into the distance.
"And what? You two shared a bed for the night? Was it more than just comforting?" Alexx asked with a knowing grin on her face.
"Well… No. We didn't do much of anything, he just held me and made sure I didn't have a panic attack. I guess he was just really good at being there for me. But I'm pretty sure he didn't sleep after that because when I saw him in the morning there were bags under his eyes. Anyway, in answer to your question, no we didn't sleep together- if that's what you're asking. But he did hold me for a bit, cuddling I guess. But that was it." Calleigh said.
"Okay and then what?" Alexx asked, now even more intrigued.
"Then that was it… until now." Calleigh said, trailing off when the waiter brought their food to the table.
"Now?" Alexx probed.
"Well now I'm stuck in this continuous loop of 'what if' and I don't know what to do." She said, dejectedly.
"Well, what do you want to do?" Alexx asked seriously.
"I don't know." Calleigh said.
"No, you know. You just don't want to admit that you know. Your heart and your head are at war right now, sugar, and I can't tell you what to do. You have to figure that out for yourself." Alexx said.
"I know…" Calleigh said, shoveling in a mouth-full of rice.
"Baby, I know you have feelings for him, and so do you. Every time anyone even mentions Eric, you get all smiley and soft. I've noticed that over the years. He does the same thing; his ears perk up every time he hears a pair of heels on the floor. He smiles more when he's with you, and you do the same. You seem so much more comfortable with him than anyone else. I don't know why you two don't just go for it." Alexx pointed out.
"Because, Alexx, I don't want to lose him." Calleigh said, clearly frustrated.
"So, you're willing to lose him to another woman, just so you won't lose him as a friend. Calleigh, you are one of the smartest people I know, and for such a smart person that has to be the dumbest thing you have ever said to me. No offense, but honey look at yourself. You're here pining over this man who you clearly love and care for, but you won't shoot your shot- or let him shoot his- because you're scared that you'll lose him. Honestly, you have to know that Eric is not like the other men you've been with. He will cherish you, and put as much love into you as me can, because that's the way he is. And I can't say, after all his years of experience that I would doubt his...skills." Alexx said, punctuating her last word with a wiggle of her eyebrows and a smirk.
"Oh my God, Alexx!" Calleigh said in shock. "I can't believe you just said that."
"Well it's true! And honey, by the looks of it you could use some good loving. When's the last time you got yourself some?" Alexx asked.
"Wow, we are so not having this conversation." Calleigh dismissed, but Alexx wasn't ready to let it go.
"Seriously, Calleigh. Woman to woman, how long has it been?" Alexx questioned.
"I don't know, Alexx, a few months, maybe? Longest it could be… maybe a year…?" She said.
"Oh no, Calleigh girl, you are long overdue for your dick appointment. I suggest you let Eric help you with that." Alexx joked.
"Oh my God." Calleigh said, turning ten shades of red.
"Look, I'm not here to judge, so let me tell it to you the way I see it. You need a man to work out all of your... kinks, let's call them. And Eric needs a woman to hold him in place and keep him on his feet. You two are the perfect candidates for this, and I think it'd make you both happier than you can imagine. Eric won't hurt you, baby. And even if things don't work out, he will never treat you badly or anything. He'd probably just wanna go back to being friends again." Alexx said.
"Yeah but I know that I couldn't do that." Calleigh said.
"Well you've gotta figure out how to because if you're gonna be happy, ever, you need to learn to take the leap. Trust your heart instead of your head for once." Alexx pushed.
"We'll see." Calleigh said.
Once the topic was well used, the two fell into light conversation, finishing their meals. At that point, everything was done and the bill was paid. They said their goodbyes, and Calleigh thanked Alexx about a hundred times, before leaving to their respective vehicles. On her way home, Calleigh put much thought into the words Alexx said. She didn't know what gave her the sudden burst of adrenaline, whether it had been Alexx's pushing or her own guts, she walked into her house and called Eric.
I hope you all enjoyed these two chapters! Chapter 3 will be up shortly. Please review! I love to hear from you guys! :)
xoxo,
C