This Is My Story

Fool

October

'Ginny can you please not be so loud! Your fucking unstable that's what you are!' Dean yet again said to me through gritted teeth. I could feel tears forming in my eyes but I wouldn't cry in front of him again. That only made him angrier.

'Why do you always got to be so loud? It's not like the whole Hogwarts needs to know our business. You swear you only want attention and nothing else!' Dean hushed out angrily before shoving me to the side with his shoulder and walked off.

By this stage fighting with him had become a regular thing now. It was only a month into our relationship and we were already acting like we been dating for twenty years and couldn't stand the sight of each other's faces anymore. We would fight about the most ridiculous things it's not even worth repeating. The worst part is he would blame me like I was the one at fault here; it was him who would always avoid my questions and call me crazy and that's how it would usually start. He could so easily make me cry and let me tell you Ginny Weasley is not an easy woman to break. It would just hurt so much when he would attack me and say I am looking for attention and that's all I want that's why I wear make-up and dress the way I dress even though it was all for him.

By this stage my face would be covered in mascara from all the crying and my vision was blurry from the tears that wouldn't stop forming in my eyes. I was walking down an empty hallway that I would always go to after a fight. This time however I was not alone.

Draco Malfoy was sitting at the end of the hall looking outside the window that held small raindrops from the incoming storm. I abruptly stopped, I didn't know what to do at that moment. There was the person I spent the better part of my last year avoiding. I didn't want to leave but I didn't want to face him either so I just stood there dumbly till it was too late and he had noticed me. Too late to turn and run away like I had so many months ago. Oh, trust me that thought had passed through my head but to be honest that was the most mortifying moment in my life and as much as I wanted to repeat it, I wouldn't. Instead I stood there head held high while he just looked at me. One second passed. One minute passed. Nothing happened. We just stayed like that looking at each other till he motioned for me to come over. I looked around making sure he was actually meaning me to come over. Of course there was nobody else around, I should have known but still, I did it. After I had made sure I slowly made my way towards him which I probably shouldn't have done. That was probably the point that changed everything but then again if that moment hadn't happened I probably wouldn't be where I am now.

I had finally made myself over to where Malfoy was sitting, after what must have seemed like forever judging by the speed I was going. I sat down next to him by the huge widow. He looked at me again and I again was at a loss at what to do or what to say this time. So, instead I looked outside at the little rain drops on the window that were turning bigger now. After what seemed a long while, he was the first one to speak and break the blissful silence that I so much wanted to stay in.

'So… Weasley, what's up with the puffy eyes?' He said to me in what had sounded like a condescending tone and I had imagined his trade mark smirk plastered on his face in all of its glory but when I looked over there was nothing. No smirk, in fact there were no emotions at all. He just sat there staring outside the window like he had before he noticed me. I had to ask myself did he actually speak at all or was it my imagination as there were no indication of the question ever being spoken. I looked at him for a second longer trying to analyse the situation.

'Are you going to stare at me all day or actually answer my question?' He snapped me out of my thoughts again with that voice of his. I was surprised to say the least. I didn't know what to answer in all of this I had forgotten of the reason why I came here in the first place. Before I could think over my answer, words formed on the tip of my tongue and before I knew it I was saying them out loud.

'Because I am not enough.' I had said and it shocked me as I only realized what I had said after it had already been said. This however seemed to get his attention a little bit. Though he still didn't look at me and remained in the same position he was before but you could see that little squint in his eyes, a little emotional shift passing through his eyes.

'Whoever told you that is stupid.' He surprised me yet again with his answer. All I could do is just nod my head and I am not sure if he ever saw it but I went back to looking outside the window where dark clouds where forming all around and engulfing us in total darkness. To be honest this situation was well, weird. It was silent for a long time. I lost myself in the rain drops and the dark Hogwarts grounds where I could see some of the students running inside for shelter from the now fully formed storm. It must of have been dinner time by now, but there was no chance in hell I would be attending it tonight. Besides the fact that I wasn't particularly hungry, I did not want to face Dean now and all of the probing questions Hermione would ask. Though I know she was right. She always was.

'Not going to run away from me again, are you?' He pulled me out of my thoughts and this time he was looking at me with a playful smile on his face.

'Don't..' I tried to be serious and shoved him gently but in the end I couldn't resist the laugh that was forming in the back of my throat. And I laughed. Probably harder than I should have but I didn't care it had been a while since someone had made me laugh in that way. When I looked over at him he just kept looking at me with a smile on his face and it felt good. Good that I didn't have to avoid him. Good that we could both laugh about it now.

'Are you not hungry?' He asked again.

'No, not really but aren't you?' I said back at him wondering what had brought him to my get away place tonight.

'No. Do you mind just sitting with me here for a while?' He asked and when I looked into his eyes for a small moment he looked scared absolutely shit up your arse scared. I didn't say anything about it though, because as quick as I saw it the quicker it was gone. I just nodded at him and we fell into a comfortable silence and we just sat there for what could have been days but only a few hours at max. Not once we spoke but it was comfort that we both got at that moment. It was darker outside than it had been before and I was sure the curfew would be starting any minute. Before I could do anything Malfoy moved next to me and I looked over at him. He had an intense look in his eyes as if he wanted to say something and he did.

'Thomas… He doesn't deserve you..' such simple words yet they meant so much. He cupped my cheek and brushed his thumb softly over my lips. It was such an intense moment it seemed like time had stopped and we were back in that hallway just this time it was different, I didn't know what yet. But it was no way as innocent as it had been the last time, even though the action by itself was. Before I could think more on it he was gone. Just like that. Ironically it looked like he was the one running away this time around.

After Draco left I had made my way back to the tower. I had been right about how late it had been. On my way back to the tower I saw couple of students rushing down lightly dim half ways trying to make it back to their common room in time. I wasn't too worried about it because to be honest the chances of me being caught were slim and the fact that I didn't care one bit if I did was a crucial point in my pace back towards the Gryffindor tower.

By the time I reached the portrait hole I realized that the walk back had been quicker than I had anticipated it to be. Without myself realizing I had been stalling and walking as slow as humanly possible. And here I was again, stalling, not making any indication that I am going to say the password to the fat lady. But though as if the world was against me the portrait whole opened up on its own, who could be coming out at this time? Not wanting to look incredibly stupid to whoever was coming outside I made a move to get inside, but not before I felt a light brush of air pass me. There really were two possibilities:

One; I was imagining things and slowly going insane.

Two; It was Harry.

When I finally got in to the common room I noticed there weren't much people left as most had probably went to their own rooms. I hoped that Dean was one of them. But as I looked around I realized that Dean had been among those who had stayed, including Ron, Hermione, Neville, Seamus and Harry. So, I am going insane. Great.

I should have known better than to hope of a quiet slip by as seemingly everything was against me this evening. So I shouldn't have been really surprised when Hermione spotted me and made a not so discreet announcement of my arrival. Honestly, that girl sometimes was just beyond ridiculous, I swear.

'Ginny, finally! Where have you been? Everyone has been so worried.' She said, no she more like screamed it as she rushed towards me and gave me a hug. If Dean hadn't noticed my arrival then he as sure as hell noticed now. I could just make out his sunken form at the back corner coming to life.

'Oh, I am sorry, I was just around and lost track of time, I didn't mean to worry anyone.' I managed to muster a half decent reply to the flustered witch in front of me. Though by the looks of it nobody really seemed that worried. Neville seemed to be reading his book on Herbology and by the looks of it Seamus and Ron were in the middle of an intense game of wizarding chess. To be honest the only person who didn't seem to be involved in anything besides awkwardly standing and looking out of place was Harry.

'You missed dinner Ginny. Did you and Dean have a fight again?' Hermione continued to fuss but this time she spoke in a lower voice so Dean couldn't hear her.

'I know, I wasn't hungry and yes we might of.' I gave her a short answer as I really wasn't in a mood to linger here any longer than I should there was a chance I could still escape before Dean got to me.

'Gin, you look a bit pale are you alright?' To my displeasure she continued on.

'I'm just peachy.' I gave her a sarcastic reply which she didn't seem to notice.

'Well, good but If you need someone to talk to you know about… everything with Dean and any other stuff you know you can always come to me and….' Hermione's rant was interrupted by Dean as he had finally managed to reach us.

'Excuse me, but do you mind if I talk to Ginny for a second?' I groaned inwardly as Hermione shook her head and rushed away but not before adding 'I meant what I said Ginny. Anytime, really.' Great, now Dean is probably going to ask me about that as well.

'What do you want Dean?'

'I just wanted to say I am really sorry about earlier.' Dean said and took my hands in his. I instantly pulled them away from him. Honestly, the nerve of him. He just thinks that he will say sorry and hold my hands and look me in the eye and everything will be alright again?

'No. Not this time. How dare you think that after yelling at me and telling me how you basically hate everything that I do and that I am never enough. You just expect me to crawl back?' I slightly raised my voice at him and got couple of glances from Hermione and Harry.

'Baby no, please, forgive me.' Dean said desperately. This happens every time and I am a fool if I let it happen again.

'No Dean, that's enough. I think it's for the best if we break up.' I said sternly. He looked like he was on the verge of crying then again he did every time when we had a fight like this.

'Please don't go, baby. Ill change I swear it's going to be different. I promise I'll be better for you. I love you.' He was begging now. This is how it usually goes. Yet, I was determined to stand strong.

'No, Dean that's what you tell me every time.'

'I swear Ginny; honestly, I swear all of these things will change. I swear.'

'Dean, no.' I was trying to sound strong but as always he just got to me and I could feel myself slipping back to him.

'Baby, you know how my family is. You know how they are. Their cold and emotionally abusive and you know, you know more than anyone that I don't really know how to act or show my feelings right.'

And there it was. He was never guilty yet he knew how to make me feel guilty for trying to walk away from him. I didn't say anything, I couldn't. I knew he was winning, like every other time before this.

'You know I'm crazy because of that and baby I am so crazy about you. You know that. I don't want to lose you.'

I shook my head indicating my forgiveness and he pulled me into a hug. For the millionth time he has managed to pull me back in. Never letting me leave, I honestly don't know how.

'I don't want to lose you either.' I whispered into his shoulder. To be honest his embrace felt warm and save and for a while he does make me forget about all of the reasons why I should leave.

Oh what a fool I was indeed.