Jo was tired. She had worked her max hours for the week and although she was finding it hard to keep her eyes open she still didn't want to leave the hospital, it was her second week and she was starting to think that this was a job that would never get old. She loved leaving the house in the morning, she loved the walk up to the locker room, she loved changing into her scrubs and she loved her current rotation.
Although Alex Karev could be an ass, he was rude and ungrateful, and sometimes just downright mean. That didn't stop her from loving paediatrics, maybe it was just the fact he had let her scrub in a few days ago – she would probably love any speciality where the attending let her scrub in. Jo really didn't want to leave. Maybe it was because she loved it, or maybe it was because of what was waiting for her at home.
Paul had finished earlier today, but whilst he was here she had got a page from him – this was unusual as she wasn't on his service and she had become pretty good at 'not on purpose' avoiding him at work. But he had paged her, not for anything important other than for her to do the skut that Leah should have been doing, but the blonde had explained to her that she was so overloaded after all the surgeries that Stadler had let her scrub in on she just didn't have the time. Bitch. So, Jo had left the 'overloaded' intern to go back to her actual work only seconds after being told what she had to do.
She knew that Paul would be pissed about this, pissed about the fact she had worked later than him and wasn't able to make dinner, pissed that she didn't do as she's told, pissed she was on Karev's service once again. He didn't like that, "you gonna' screw him next Jo? Huh?" He had shouted at her on her third day just after she told him how great she thought Dr. Karev was with kids. It was her own fault he got angry, she shouldn't have said anything.
Jo huffed as she plopped her body down on to the bench in front of her locker, she just couldn't seem to find the energy to change out of her scrubs. She sat there for a few moments waiting for the last person in the locker room to leave so she didn't have to change in the bathroom stall, she hated that. It felt so unhygienic. Quickly checking that the entire room was clear she pulled her scrub top over her head, pulling her t shirt down where it had ridden up around her stomach. A few deep breathes later when the pain from her latest bruise had felt too much she started on her pants. If she took too long then Paul would have something to say about it, even if she would rather spend the rest of her night here.
"Hey! What d'you think you're doing?" The sound of the gruff, manly voice startled her and made her jump back in fear. She swiftly pulled her pants back up to round her waist, tied them and turned around to see who exactly it was.
It was Alex.
"Oh my god!" She put her hand to her chest, "are you allowed to be in here?" She asked after a few moments of heavy breathing.
"You're in a hospital locker room, princess," Alex moved his hands to his hips, "not a spa retreat. Yes, I'm allowed to be in here," this caused Jo to furrow her eyebrows at him. Princess? "Again, where are you going?"
Jo furrowed her eyebrows at her boss once again, "urmm?" She pointed to her bag and clothes, "I'm going home?" It was pretty obvious.
"Yes, and I thought you were scrubbing in with me later? On Tate Jones' surgery?" Crap. She had completely forgot about that when Hunt has told her to go home.
"Urghh, I've maxed my hours. I can't even stay if I wanted to," Jo didn't know why Alex would go out of his way to come find her and remind her that she was scrubbing in. When she had first asked he had told her he didn't need her and the second time he had told her she was a pain in his ass, it was only the third time he finally gave in and asked her to leave him alone. Now, he was seeking her out just to ask her to come.
"Right. You didn't think to mention that before you left?" Jo huffed, there's nothing she would love to do more than get in to that OR – but she is physically not allowed.
"I didn't think you'd run around looking for me. Scared me half to death, by the way."
"It's not my fault you're so jumpy, I only have to look at you and you'll flinch," Jo hadn't thought she was that bad, she usually brushed off the light touching from her colleagues but it was just the abrupt way Alex would come up to her and bark orders sometimes, it reminded her of the way Paul would start shouting at her before he started. Started hitting her. Not that she knew much about Alex but she guesses the fear came from her current situation.
"Do you mind? I'm tired and I stink, I want to go home and take a shower," he didn't argue with her, he just huffed and stomped out of the locker room.
Jo was relieved. Alex could be intrusive, if she's late and she told him it was traffic; where's the traffic? Were you alone? How long were you in it? What time did you leave home? She really didn't want him to start asking her why she would flinch at the slightest touch or yelp when he comes up behind her, it was odd behaviour and Jo knew that. Most of her colleagues brushed it off to her personality, well she knew Steph had, she would sometimes make jokes and prod her about it in a joking and friendly manner.
She resumed changing into her own clothes, she really needed to shower and the thought of going home was making her hot and sweaty. So, once she was done she slowly walked out to her car – dreading what was waiting for her at home.
Jo quietly entered the large house she had been calling home for the past few months, she could see the light flashing from the large flat screen television to her right, it was some football game. God, I hope his team is winning. She slowly stepped around the furniture that decorated the landing. She was hoping to have a short shower before she had to encounter Paul.
"Why're you late?" She heard from the lounge area as the television was turned down. Jo changed her direction and went towards where her husband was situated on the couch.
"Sorry, a big trauma came in before I was about to leave," deep breaths, "they needed the hands." Paul started laughing.
"They needed you?" She took a step back, how did Paul make her feel so small with just three words. "Did they get the short straw? You were the only intern left?" He looked up from the television to stare at her. Jo felt holes being burned into her from his eyes. "Huh? You gonna' talk?"
"They asked me to stay, so…"
"You're full of shit! You were on Karev's service again, right?" He got up off his seat and came towards her, prodding his finger into her chest. At her nod, he prodded harder, pushing her back.
"How are you so stupid, Jo? How do you not see that he probably wants to sleep with you?" She shook her head as he was inches away from her face, raising his voice. "You like it don't you? You want to screw him, right?" You wanna' fuck him, Jo?" He prodded and prodded.
"No," she whispered,
"Speak the fuck up!" Paul continued to shout into her face.
"NO!" She found her voice and shouted back.
He took a step back, "I was talking to Murphy today, about the new interns. About you." His face remained cold as he lowered his voice and continued to stare at her. "Turns out she had no idea you were married. Never mentioned it. Said you had spent a lot of time with her and a few other interns but never cared to bring it up, why's that, Jo?"
Fuck. She knew that she was only setting herself up for trouble by keeping it a secret for so long, it had just never came up in conversation – she had told Alex on her very first day, she wasn't hiding the fact she was married, just who she was married to.
"It never came up." Just as fast as her voice came, it soon again was lost as she saw the darkness in her husband's eyes. She knew no matter what she said the same thing would come, no matter if she whispered and reasoned, no matter if she screamed and shouted, he is still going to leave bruises on her body.
"It didn't come up?" He scrunched his face up at her as if she was the worst thing he had even laid his eyes on, "so when your friend was telling you how she had been working with me you didn't think to mention that I was your husband?" Yes. "When they were all discussing the surgeons they wanted to work with you didn't think to mention that you were married to one?" Yes.
Paul put his hand to his face and rubbed at his eyes, "you embarrassed of me Jo? Because if anyone should be embarrassed, it should be me!" He moved closer to Jo once again, "or is it that you wanted the younger doctors to believe you were single? Flirt a little bit? Get the attention you have always been so desperate for?" She shook her head.
"You know, the whole poor orphan play is getting old now. Mommy issues, daddy issues, whatever. I should be enough, Jo. I give you everything, I gave you a home. I'm more than an enough." He always did this. Bring up her past, as a ploy to make her stay with him. Like he needed to convince her that he was all she had, all she ever had. She knew she owed him, that being the only reason she hasn't ran far, far away from him yet.
"I know, Paul. I just…I thought you wouldn't want them to know yet." He had her pinned to the wall with his hand either side of her head, don't say anything stupid. "I didn't want to embarrass you if…if…I messed up."
Paul threw his head back in laughter, Jo knew better than to think this would be the end of the conversation. Just as fast as Paul started to laugh, his eyes once again turned sinister. He swallowed hard and stared into his young wife's eyes before he grabbed her by the hair and shoved her down to the floor. Standing over her he started to kick her in the stomach, the chest, her legs. Wherever he felt like.
He couldn't have been doing it for more than a few minutes but it felt like hours to Jo, he finally stopped the movements of his legs when he heard that Jo had stopped screaming. Kneeling down so he was almost eye level with Jo, he once again grabbed her by the hair and tugged her head up to look at him.
"Go take a shower, you need to make dinner. I'm starving." He let go of her hair and watched as her head dropped back down to the floor before getting up from where Jo was lying almost lifelessly, he went back to the television and continued to watch the football game.
Jo continued to lay there for a few moments to be sure that Paul was done, when she was confident that he has, she struggled to gain the strength in her arms to pick herself up. She got to her knees and leant her hand on a nearby table, using it as leverage as she stumbled to her feet. She stumbled up the stairs, and she almost fell over as she made her way to their shared bedroom. Jo fully collapsed once she was alone in the bathroom, with the door locked.
The shower was sure to sting as she turned it on and put the temperature up to near boiling, just how she wanted it. If there was anything she hated most about her body then it was the deep purple and green splotches that decorated almost her entire stomach, thighs, arms and chest. Disgusting, she thought as she stared at herself in the mirror before she got into the shower.
She won't blame herself this time. She used to do everything right; cook his dinner for when he was home, be by his side whenever he needed her, came straight home as soon as classes had finished. She had done everything that he told her he wanted. Despite this he would still hit her; the dinner was slightly burnt, you talked too much to one of his colleagues, you were half an hour late. So, she knew that no matter what she did, right or wrong, he would still find a way to hurt her. That wasn't her fault. It was his. He was a monster. Well, that was something she had been trying to convince herself – It's not you, it's him.
She couldn't leave him, she owed him so much. If it wasn't for him then she would have spent every summer and every break from college in her car, she would have laid awake scared every night that she would be robbed, or raped, like she had when she was sixteen. He gave her a home, and at first, he was so sweet. He promised her everything, he treated her like a queen, took her out for fancy dinners and bought her beautiful clothes. She thought they were in love but what they had wasn't love, it was control. He controlled her.
Jo wanted out of this viscous circle she had found herself living in, and she wanted it fast.
Stepping out from the shower, she moisturised her legs with a new cream she had bought – it promises to improve the appearance of blemishes, hopefully. I guess the one good thing about her situation was that money was never an issue – but yet again, that was one more thing he could use against her.
She walked out of the bathroom that joined on to their bedroom and slipped on her robe, she sat down on her bed and looked around the room. She enjoyed the peace when he wasn't in the room, the silence of having no one in her face or barking orders at her. The silence was quickly diminished as the door creaked open and he stepped inside.
Jo turned her head and wouldn't dare to look at him, she knew what was coming next. He silently walked over to her and sat next to where she was seated on the bed, Paul went to intertwine his hand with Jo's but she quickly pulled away and put the hand he had tried to grab in her other. Deciding to stroke one of her bruises that she was sporting on her leg instead, as if to comfort her. How could he provide any comfort when he was the one to do that to her?
"Jo," he said breathlessly, "I'm…I'm sorry, ok? I didn't want to hurt you." He continued to stroke the mark on her leg as he inched closer. "You just know how to make me so mad. I didn't want to hurt you but how could I not when you push all of my buttons?" She shook her head in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, it's just because…because I love you," She furrowed her brows and turned her face even further away from him so he couldn't see, "and you're mine, I hate the thought of you and other guys."
"He's my boss." She told him with her face still turned away.
"I know, I know. Guess I'll have to get you on my service more often?" He smirked and picked up his hand from its place on her thigh and turned her head to face him. "No more being late home, or gushing over your male colleagues." Jo opened her mouth to protest, she hardly gushed about anyone. She liked Alex's work and she thought Shepherd was a great surgeon, that was it. Nothing about appearance – just work. Before she could utter a single word of protest, Paul planted a hard kiss on her lips. He attempted to deepen it by shoving his tongue down Jo's throat but Jo was not in the mood tonight, she was sore and upset.
"I thought you were hungry?" She pushed him back slightly, "I could eat too." She told him calmly, hoping not to anger him for the second time tonight. She doesn't think she'll make it to work if he tries to go for round two.
"Ok. Go fix dinner," She nodded and left the bedroom, how can someone who claims to love her act so violently towards her? What was she doing so wrong?