What is a princess doing here? She must not come near me, I am stink and ill. I don't want her to get my disease. The princess smile at me, maybe she is mocking me. I should be grateful that she smiles at me regardless of what reason. I drag my body near her to lick her shoes to show my gratitude. The princess kneels down and pats my head. I raise my head to look at her only to be replied by another smile. She is very beautiful when she smile.
I distance myself from her. I told her not to get too close with me since I have a disease. But she said she has a healthy body so it's not a problem and thus she sit beside me. She asks me a lot of questions, some regarding myself some about her. When she talks about herself, she smiles a lot. Whenever she smiles, it makes her cuter. Saying how happy she is, saying that she is already happy with her current life. Her life is like a fairy tale, very pure and innocent. Without I realize I spend hours after hours listening to her story. I enjoy listening to her, but after a while she excuses herself. It's very late already so she needs to go back, she wave at me and I wave at her. Eventually I return to my cold world while she returns to her warm world.
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It's another rainy day. Finally today they give me food. I quickly move my body and eat as much as possible. People will feel disgusted when they see me right now. I am like a beast eating on his prey. I bet she will also feel disgusted seeing me like this. Lately I keep daydreaming all day thinking about her. It's weird how her words caught my interest. Even though it's not my first time to talk with a noble, but she gives off a friendly aura. That girl … when will she come again? Probably never. I am stinks and disgusting, there is no need to waste her precious times just to visit me. I do not deserve it, our worlds is far too different.
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I am surprised today she comes to visit me again at night. She is dressed in white gown along with red ribbon on her hair. Her appearance today just surprised me. I thought … she won't come anymore. She smile at me again, I really like her smile. It's beautiful. Why did she always smile at me? Is it her habit to smile at stranger like that?
For the first time, I let out my voice to talk with her. We talk a lot, mostly about my life or her life. I like the story of her life, it's always talk about a pure world where no conflict exist. Dreams, family, friends, wealth and happiness exist in her world. The more I heard about it, the more I hate myself. Why must I choose this kind of life when I could chose the life as pure as her? Maybe if I realize this sooner, things won't turn out like this. But if I am not in this cage … will she appear in my life? Will I? Able to talk with her like this?
I ask her, "Why do you smile a lot?" without thinking, she instantly answer me, "Because I am with you". I don't understand the meaning behind her answer. I thought she would say because she is happy that she smiles. There is nothing good staying with a criminal with incurable disease. "Don't you feel disgusted at me?" I ask again. She stares at me with a childlike questioning look. But suddenly she lean forward and hug me tightly. She sticks her cheek to mine and wiggle her head continuously like a kid. "No, I don't, you are warm" she said. I feel sadder when she reply like that, there is no need for her to do this. I just want her to continue living inside her fairy tale world. My cold world is too cruel for someone pure like her.
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Today she comes again, dressed in her favorite white gown. I have been gathering courage to tell her not to come again. Somehow it's always stopped the moment she smiles at me. My words stuck in my throat, can't come out. Deep inside my mind, I am happy that someone likes her want to talk with me. But this world is not a right place for her to enter. There are much better places than this place. Out of so many places, why must she choose this place? This place is stinks, dirty, cold and cruel. Definitely not a right place for her to come.
She sits beside me again, talking about anything happened to her on these past few days. The Princess is an inclusive person. She doesn't mind to talk about anything including her own clumsiness. She told me several time about how easily she tripped whenever she runs. I laugh at her when I heard this. For the first time I saw her pouting at me. I thought that she is always cheerful but who knows actually she could also show pisses expression.
I also surprised when I laugh, it's been ages since I last laugh. I nearly forget how to laugh, but having her by my side makes me remember it again. Truly, I am glad that she is here today.
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Today, it's another rainy day. Soon summer will come and spring will go. To be honest, I don't really care about season so much. Whether it's hot or cool, it won't affect the cold inside this cage. I guess I lost a chance to tell her again. It's better for her to stop coming to this place. I try persuading the guard so that they will move me to another prison in town, but they refuse, leaving me no choice but to think about another method. The rain is getting bigger while I keep thinking about it. The best and easiest way it to tell her directly, but whenever she is around, I can't let those words out. The more I think, the more I confuse. I want her to stop visiting me but … at the same time I also longing for her smile, her voice and her face.
Suddenly, I am shocked with the scenery caught by my eyes. I really can't believe it. She is standing in front of me wearing soaked black dress. Droplets of water drop from her hair. She smiles at me with her flushed cheek and trembling body. She immediately hugs me the moment I lay my eyes on her hair. The little Princess is clutching to my chest with white puffs coming out from her mouth. I want to ask what happen, but seeing her trembling body. I could only think to shut my mouth for now. I hold her closer to share warmth. The Princess just stays silent there while still clutching to my chest. Tears start to drop from her eyes. I don't know why she is sad. Her surprise today ceased my thinking to stop her from visiting me. Right now, I am only thinking about the methods to comfort her.
Why are you crying, Princess? What make you so sad?