Title: Caution, Trust, Friendship, Love
Author: Warriors/3
Rating: T/PG13
Genre: Romance, Angst
Characters/Pairing: AshSoot, AshSquirrel, AshWhite, AshLion
Warnings: Slash, AU
Summary: Ashfur knew he was doomed the day he was born.
It really didn't make sense, did it? You would think that, after Sootfur, he would have learned some sense, would have learned the first lesson: caution.
But no. It would take the second lesson, and a she-cat with wandering faith, to teach him what he had to know.
In every Clan, there's one cat that every tom wants to get a piece of. Intelligent, strong, brave… And of course, being pretty helped.
In ThunderClan, that cat was Squirrelflight.
She met every one of those requirements. There was no doubt of her strength. She could match any warrior in battle without tiring. Her intelligence sometimes came into question, though that was only when her bravery outmatched it.
As for being pretty, no cat would argue with that. At least, not while Firestar was around.
(Was it mentioned that she was the leader's daughter? That certainly helped her attain the position of most wanted she-cat in ThunderClan.)
So, meeting all of these criteria, it was no surprise that Ashfur took an interest in her. After the Sootfur fiasco, he'd promised himself, and Ferncloud, that he would stick to she-cats, though he couldn't help glancing at toms every now and then, feeling wistful.
Still, she was a pretty cat, and as he spent more and more time with her, he found himself growing closer to the she-cat. Closer than he'd ever expected to be with any cat. Close in a different way than he was close to Ferncloud. Close in a way that made his skin go hot and his paws tingle when she was around.
In a good way, of course.
But he was still young, and he was still stupid, and he should have realized that he would always be second best. He never saw it coming, what Squirrelflight would do. Brambleclaw was always lurking there, amber eyes glinting with anger, and a touch of jealousy, whenever he saw Squirrelflight and Ashfur together.
At the time, it made Ashfur want to leap for joy. His only competition was out of the way. Now if only he could get Squirrelflight to admit her undying love for him.
Which turned out to be a harder job than he would have imagined.
If he'd learned anything from the Sootfur fiasco, it was this: Never approach another cat and tell them outright that you're in love with them and expect them to feel the same way.
Well, with Squirrelflight, if possible, it got worse.
Maybe if he had gone to her with that expectation, it would have been better. Maybe she would have accepted him, reluctantly put Brambleclaw in the back of her mind, and concentrated on Ashfur. Maybe they would have grown old together, trained apprentices together, had kits together.
Instead, he waited.
Some would blame Sootfur, for making him too cautious. Some would blame Squirrelflight, for letting him believe that she truly cared about him the way he thought she did. And others would blame Ashfur himself, for having unreasonable expectations.
But really, you can't blame any of them. Sootfur didn't know that Ashfur was serious, and Squirrelflight didn't mean to hurt him. And on top of all this, Ashfur was always more childish than his denmates. Unreasonable expectations based on unreasonable feelings were something one had to learn to expect from him.
It was not a happy day for Ashfur when Squirrelflight gently tried to break the news to him. She told him that, as much as she wanted to be his friend, they would never be anything more than that. She loved Brambleclaw, she told him, and she wouldn't be able to feel that way for Ashfur, ever.
But though her words were gentle, all Ashfur heard was his world falling apart.
Was something wrong with him? he wondered. To be rejected by one cat was one thing, to be rejected by another was something completely different.
"Squirrelflight, please!" he begged. "Please! I love you!"
"No, you don't, Ashfur." She shook her head. "I'm sorry. Can we still be friends?" Her eyes were pleading, begging.
He wanted to throw up. He wanted to claw his own eyes out. Sootfur had denied his love. Now Squirrelflight was doing the same thing.
But he did love her. He had loved Sootfur, too. He had loved them both, and she couldn't change that with a few words.
"Please, Ashfur. I don't want to fight. Can we be friends? Please?"
A cold fury suddenly wrapped around him, closing around his heart and feeling its way into every nook and cranny in his body from his ears to his paws to the tip of his tail.
Friends. After what she'd done to him, she wanted to be friends. How dare she? How dare she even suggest that, after all this?
"Please, Ashfur!"
"No."
His voice was a whisper, angry and hoarse.
She stared at him, green eyes wide with sorrow. "Ashfur, I –"
"Go away," he snarled. "Leave me alone. You can't possibly hurt me anymore than you already have."
"Ashfur—"
"Leave!" He met her gaze, his body trembling with anger. "I don't want to see your face ever again."
She stared at him, taking a step back. He stared right back, growling.
"Leave!"
She turned, whirling, and disappeared into the forest.
He'd learned the first lesson: caution.
This was how he learned the second lesson: Trust no one but yourself.