If It's Love

Chapter 1 of 3

June 2009…

Another year done and dusted.

Jensen Ackles was feeling proud and accomplished. Himself, Jared and the Supernatural crew had wrapped on their fourth season, signed on already for season five and if season four ratings were anything to go by so far, the next season was sure to be a hit with the fans too…especially with what they had planned.

The end of season wrap party was a known tradition and usually they would hold it somewhere big and fancy, with perhaps some cameras and press along for the ride. This year was different, Jared had recently bought a new house in Vancouver and was looking to show it off, as a result the party had been delayed for a month or so to co-inside with Jared's house warming and giving them a more private location for the party.

When initially told of Jared's plan, both Jensen and the head crew members were a little taken back, fair to say most of them told Jared he was brave and wished him the best of luck getting so many people into his house.

The moment Jensen first stepped foot inside of said house, he was no longer worried for his best friend…needless to say, it was a LARGE house to fit the equally large moose that had purchased it.

Now the big night was upon them all, Jensen strolled up to the front door and let himself in. Jensen was both polite and sometimes reserved, but he had no issues with walking straight into Jared's house without knocking. They were practically brothers after all.

The noise was instant, the sounds of people and music filled the house, Jensen knew immediately the turnout was just as successful as every other wrap party. He strolled down the long corridor, passing a few crew members he was very familiar with and a few he was polite to, but couldn't quite remember their names. Supernatural took a big production team and Jensen was just one person, he couldn't remember everyone!

As Jensen made his way into the kitchen area, he was immediately glomped from behind by an over excited 6 foot something of Jared Padalecki.

"DUDE! Finally…people have been waiting for you" Jared cried out loudly, a big grin plastered on his face and extracting himself from Jensen with a clap on the back.

"I highly doubt that, looks like the party is already in full swing." Jensen said with a returning smile and glancing around the filled kitchen area, sneaking a look towards the living room which was full of crew members and cast members new and old.

"It's an awesome turnout man, I'm really happy…Julie is here…oh and Matt…Amy too…even Richard has pitched up." Jared reeled off cast members happily, pointing briefly in their direction.

Jensen spotted them, giving them a small wave and a smile. He glanced around further and noticed much to his disappointment that a certain someone wasn't here, at least not that he could see…

He turned back to Jared and noted Genevieve walking up, smiling in his direction. She stopped next to Jared, who leant down to give her a kiss in greeting and pulling back with the biggest shit eating grin Jensen had ever seen. The cat that most definitely got the cream and Jensen felt a slight pang of jealously that he hadn't found his 'one' yet.

"Hey Jensen, it's so good to see you" Gen said turning to greet him with a hug and a big smile.

"You too Gen, it's been a while" Jensen said, returning the hug.

Truth was it had been a while, Jared and Gen had flirted outrageously from the moment she was cast as Ruby 2, this soon led to dating and now they were 6 months into their relationship and happier than ever. Jensen was invited to a dinner party with Jared's close friends and family, were Jared had officially announced Gen was his girlfriend, of course Jensen already knew this but it was nice to be included regardless. Jensen really liked Genevieve, she was perfect in every way for Jared, her and Jensen got along well but since she finished up on set they hadn't seen each other in a couple of months which was a shame.

"Too long" She said, pulling back from the hug and smiling.

Jensen knew she and Jared would make it, they just seemed so perfectly content and a lot had escalated in this past year, not just for his best friend but Jensen too.

"Hey Jay…is Misha here yet?" Jensen asked curiously, his eyes still darting around the house.

"Yup he got here ages ago…he was asking about you" Jared stated, a little distracted by cuddling his current girlfriend.

Jensen felt his stomach flip and his eyes widened, shooting back to Jared.

"He was?" he asked with an audible gulp, which Gen quietly noted with a hint of suspicion and Jared didn't notice at all, simply nodded.

"Well, where is he?" Jensen asked again, his eyes continuing their search.

Before his answer could come, he spied Misha across the room and his whole world seemed to slow right down.

Misha Collins was the main source of Jensen's big changes that occurred this year and the man didn't even know it.

July 2008…

It had been a trying year in many ways, right before season four began shooting Jensen made two big changes in his life. He bought a permanent location in Vancouver, his one bedroom apartment was a drastic downsize from his LA home, but he felt much more relaxed in Canada and was content in having a small apartment for himself. This resulted in his next big change, after two years of dating on and off, Jensen broke it off with a long term girlfriend who he had begun to realise most definitely wasn't right for him and he had hit the point of no return, wanting out of the situation altogether. Surprisingly he wasn't all that torn up about it and she didn't seem too shocked either, so they moved on with their own lives.

Now for a fresh start, they were two weeks into the filming of Supernatural's fourth season and today they got a brand new guest star.

Days like this were always exciting; getting to act alongside a newcomer was always refreshing and today was Jensen's turn. Jared wasn't needed for the scenes this morning; it was Jensen, Jim Beaver and this new guy…Misha Collins.

Jim and Jensen were currently chatting away on set, waiting on the new arrival while camera crews got set up around them. Neither actor had met Misha yet, so it would be a joint experience for them both. They didn't have too long to wait as the director and co-exec producer walked the newbie towards the set.

First thing Jensen could see was a tan trench coat…

*Really? That's what they're making an angel of the lord wear?*

Next thing was a mass of dark brown, almost black hair on top of the guy's head…

When the men finally came to a stop in front of Jensen and Jim, the director greeted them briefly before rushing off to set up for the day and left the producer to introduce the new meat.

Jensen heard the name 'Misha Collins' and 'Angel Castiel' amongst the rambling coming from the producers mouth and he was vaguely aware of Jim stepping forward to shake hands with Misha, but as of 10 seconds ago when they were first approached Jensen had immediately been swept in by a pair of big blue eyes in front of him and those eyes belonged to that of their new co-star Misha Collins.

*Dayum*

He was shaken out of his trance when Misha extended a hand towards him in greeting with a beaming smile that almost knocked the breath out of Jensen.

"Nice to meet you Jensen, I'm Misha"

Jensen stared at the hand for a moment, before remembering his manners and extending his own to shake it firmly.

"Good to meet you too, welcome to the set" Jensen said shakily, his brain clearly not having caught up to the situation at hand.

Misha smiled in his direction and Jim immediately started with the small talk, getting to know their new co-star.

Jensen listened and nodded along, while his brain finally caught up and he mentally slapped himself for acting like a school girl with a crush.

Firstly Misha was a guy, Jensen was a straight man and he couldn't quite explain why he got so caught up in a fellow dudes blue eyes, so he swept it to one side and put it down to being open minded and appreciative of a good looking man when he seen one. It didn't mean anything.

When Jensen heard Misha say he was not married and very much single, not being able to help the smile that tugged at his lips. Jensen still stuck to his words…it didn't mean anything.

Secondly Misha was a guest on his show; Jensen should be making a better impression instead of simply staring at the guy and freaking him out. Besides Misha was down as a 'guest star' which meant he would probably only feature in one or two episodes tops. The tiny pang of disappointment that swirled in Jensen's stomach at the thought?…it still didn't mean a thing.

Jensen sorted himself out enough to be normal and welcoming for Misha, shooting started soon after.

He immediately loved Castiel, everything about the character screamed badass warrior of God and Misha pulled it off perfectly. They bounced amazingly well off each other and the instant chemistry between the two was electric, enough so that the director was applauding their hard work and the fact they got through the scenes quickly and efficiently.

The change in Misha's voice for his character was a surprise…and if someone had asked Jensen why he started to blush…he would deny it.

It didn't mean anything.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

As months rolled by both Castiel & Misha became more and more popular with the fandom. Turns out that Jensen wasn't the only one who thought so and this led to Misha's contract being extended until the end of season four at least and rightly so.

Jensen and Jared had grown close to Misha in the past few months of working together, leading to outings outside of the Supernatural set and plenty of 'getting to know each other' drinking sessions.

But as Genevieve and Jared started to date, he would spend more time out with her and less time out with the boys. Which for Jensen meant a lot of alone time with Misha and while this didn't seem like a bad thing to everyone else; to Jensen it was driving him insane.

From those first moments on set, Jensen had an internal battle going on inside of his head and Misha was the cause of that, even though the guy had absolutely no idea.

It started with the staring, Jensen couldn't help it…Misha was something else entirely and what started as 'appreciation for a good looking man' soon turned into 'This guy is hot and I am so screwed.' Jensen kept brushing aside his attraction but after months of trying, it soon became evident that he was most definitely crushing on his very male co-star. Commence the freak out.

It wasn't just the look of Misha, it was just HIM in general. They had become great friends, talked about pretty much everything and spent a lot of time together which was entirely unexpected. Misha was witty, intelligent, crazy in the best possible way and the most unique human being that Jensen had ever met.

The day Jensen finally gave into his crush was the night he sat alone in his apartment and watched the first episode of season four air on the CW.

Realisation hit him like a ton of bricks as he watched Misha on screen and he couldn't deny it to himself anymore. The state of confusion was almost nauseating and Jensen's whole life felt like it was turning upside down in slow motion, was he always destined to swing this way? Is that why previous girlfriends had been nothing to him?

Questions weighed heavily on his mind, but for tonight…he let the denial slip away and a huge weight lifted from his own shoulders.

That night he recorded the premiere episode and he replayed the scene between Dean & Castiel at least ten times…

The last time he watched it; he jerked off and came loudly with Misha's name on his lips.

Jensen cursed himself three days later when he had to film alongside Misha and when Castiel's voice made its appearance, Jensen found it took all of his willpower to tame Jensen Junior from standing to attention.

If anyone noticed…it went unsaid.