I wish I owned the Winchesters or the show, but I own nothing but the first four seasons of Supernatural on DVD… that is all. Enjoy!
Supernatural Survival Manual
By ShadowsandDreams
-Fangirls have the right of way, move or be trampled…
-Walls are easily broken
-Pay Attention! If one of your group is acting strangely (Sam) you might want to do something, like question their sudden change in music or forgetting how to drive (Yeah Dean!). Check for possession, shape shifters, body switching and moments of stupidity…
-If you don't have any leads or are bored of your current hunt… just go to the Roadhouse! (Not the one with the Texans… although if you need more ammo or firepower you might want to go there too…)
-Man may have been created equal, not so for Demons… trap the stupid ones first then take on the smart ones that saw the devils trap you set under the rug.
-If you become confused while on a hunt ask a crazy person, they generally know what's going on in the psych ward.
-No Chick-flick moments!
-Horsemen like to accessorize, steal their shiney's and their cars while you're at it. Not only will you save the town, but you're riding in a bitch'n new car! It's a win/win situation if you survive.
-It's not alcoholism if you barely made it out alive, it's therapy in a can, bottle or keg.
-Know where all the tux rental places are in the area, you may need to pick one up on your way to a crime scene.
-Lying through your teeth is one thing, adapting your story as they tell theirs is just plain awesome!
-Ignore your mother and go get that anti-demon tattoo you're been wanting for so long.
-If small children are acting strangely, you might need to do one of three things…
a) Burn them, they are probably a changeling and not actually human.
b) Toss holy water on them or skip right to the latin or stab them with the Knife mentioned previously in this text.
c) Ask if they are related to the Winchesters, because they might be hunting something you were unaware of.
-You don't need a Delorean to time travel, you just need angelic mojo.
-------------------
If you find yourself in a battle of wits here are a few recommended responses from our Winchester boys…
Scenario1
O.P- "Go to Hell!"
Dean Response- "Been there done that"
Sam Response- "I got a better idea, why don't I bring hell and all its wonders HERE? (seriously Sam, opening Hell's gates, unleashing a legion of demons into our world… and their boss a little while later… It can't possibly get any worse … Or CAN IT??? )
Scenario 2
O.P- "Asshole!"
Dean Response- "Bitch!"
Sammy Response- "Jerk!"
Scenario 3
O.P- "You think you're funny?"
Dean Response- "I think I'm adorable."
Shadow- I do too! J
Sam- *eye roll*
Scenario 4
Shadow- "Btw… Dean lost the car…"
Sam- "You What?!"
Dean's Defense- "He full on Obiwaned me! It's mind control man!
Scenario 5
(instert generic insult)
Sam- "At least I'm not afraid of flying!"
Dean- "Planes crash Sam!"
Sam's retort- "And apparently clowns kill!"
Scenario 6
(made especially for drunken revelry)
(insert anything said by anyone…)
Sam- "You're bossy"
Dean- "What?"
Sammy- "You're bossy… and short! (laughs)
(What Dean and everyone is thinking)- "Are you drunk?"
Sam- "Yeah! So? …stupid.
Shadow- *hick* You tell'm Sammy! *hick*