This took way too long.
Being a Zelda fan who just got Breath of the Wild on his brand-new Nintendo Switch doesn't really help in the 'efficiency' department.
Tikki and Plagg rarely got the time to enjoy a good ol' fashioned tea party with each other.
It's no wonder that they decided to scrape one together after being stuck in a closet with their petrified chosens.
Marinette, being her usual absent-minded self, accidentally took a bag from the tea drawer instead of a cookie from the cookie rack.
Tikki wasn't even gonna try to guess how she managed to make that mistake.
That proved to be useful, though, because it gave her the tea necessary for the kwamis' traditional tea party.
There's a reason why Plagg wolfs down his cheese early, and it's in case a situation like this arises. In the past, Plagg learned that Camembert boxes served as excellent impromptu teapots, so he came prepared. He's no glutton, he's actually far-sighted.
The closet had a faucet, luckily, and with Tikki's magic, the water was brought to a boiling within seconds. The water pooled into the box, the teabag floated into the water, and the kwamis breathed in the relaxing aroma of the steeping tea.
"So," began Plagg, "we're gonna be here a while, judging by the looks on their faces." Plagg is quite a respectable character when he isn't teasing, which is never for humans.
Tikki sighed and responded with, "You're probably right." Then she brightened considerably and added, "that means we'll have plenty of time to talk about them."
They both grinned evilly and sipped some tea from the box.
"I have to admit, Tikki, this will be the funniest reveal we've had in a couple millennia. Who knew, the elusive Ladybug and Cat Noir's identities defeated by the greatest beast of all: shipping."
"I have to agree, Plagg. Alya's really outdone herself this time. At least it's between them and not with anyone else." She sipped.
"Yeah. If it were Alya..."
They shuddered at the thought, then sipped some tea to calm themselves.
After a moment of silence, Plagg resumed with, "How many others of our chosens have been in such a situation?" He sipped.
Tikki giggled before replying, "Which situation?"
Plagg softly cackled and replied, "That's a good question. How about the love square?"
"Oh, don't get me started on that. Remember Lady Wifi?"
"I don't know how I could possibly forget. I was so mad at Adrien when he didn't open the door. I told him, 'What were you thinking? That was your one chance to figure who the love of your life really is!' and he was like, 'Thats it, Plagg. I don't think when I'm around her.'" He sipped.
Tikki nearly spit out the tea she was sipping. "He didn't."
"Oh, but he did, Tikki. When he said that, I thought to myself, You're a superhero! You're supposed to use your head!"
The kwamis shook their heads and laughed. This was too entertaining for their own good. They sipped some tea.
"Tikki, I've got some good ones: Horrificator and Kung Food."
Tikki gasped and replied, "I know, right? How could they be so dense? The place is sealed, Adrien straight up says 'it's impenetrable' in both cases. Then both Marinette and Adrien disappear while Ladybug and Cat Noir magically appear." She sipped.
"And the damn place is sealed. I can't believe no one thought, 'Oh, I wonder how they got in, if the stuff's so impenetrable?'"
"I know, right?! Speaking of which, Plagg, have you ever wondered why no one ever thought, 'Damn, Ladybug and Cat Noir sure appeared real fast'? I mean, they've "conveniently" been at the site of so many attacks that the process of elimination can be used to find them out."
"All the time. I mean, they appeared so quickly in Evillustrator and Reflekta that I'm surprised that nobody noticed." He sipped.
"You know, I'm surprised that Alya didn't notice anything. That girl is a hawk. Nothing escapes her gaze, except Ladybug, so I'm honestly shocked that she did t figure it out."
They sighed and shook their heads, then sipped some tea. Plagg said, "Remember Simon Says?"
"Of course I do. I can't even imagine how hard it must have been for you to transform and detransform so many times."
"I was exhausted. Adrien's excuse was godawful, too. I mean, a shower? He's (un)lucky that Marinette has such a huge crush on him and can't think properly."
"You're right. If it was any other person, she would have said, 'Yeah, that's great. So, tell me, please, why isn't your hair wet?' and voilà, all their problems are solved."
They shook their heads again, and Plagg piped up again, "Let's say our most difficult akuma attacks."
"When Antibug attacked and I was eating. I had to convince Marinette to save your chosen while she was detransformed, and boy was that difficult. I swear, she's so stubborn."
"For me, it's got to be Simon Says. I was so tired after that, I felt like Camembert goo."
"That must have been awful. I also didn't like dealing with Marinette during Darkblade. She just, ugh."
Plagg laughed. Tikki scowled at him and said, "So, Simon Says was exhausting."
"And when Volpina attacked, it was exhausting for me. I had to—"
A deep breath rumbled through the room, and the two kwamis absorbed their tea within seconds, even though it was cold from sitting still for too long. They had to hear this.
"Ok. I didn't want to do this," breathed Adrien, "but it seems like I have no choice. Marinette, can you keep a secret?"
"Ha," whispered Plagg. "My chosen cracked first."
"Oh, hush. You know that Marinette has self-confidence issues."
The kwamis were squealing internally. It's happening! they thought.
"You trust me to keep your secret?"
"Yep, and no one else knows it. I'm counting on you to tell no one, especially Alya."
Tikki whispered to Plagg, "If Marinette wasn't Ladybug, that would have been a smart move."
Plagg replied with a smug grin, and Tikki rolled her eyes at that.
"O-ok. I will."
"Great. Now, please don't faint. Plagg, claws out."
Adrien transformed into Cat Noir, and Tikki could tell that Marinette was on the verge of collapse. She gave Marinette a burst of confidence which caused her to mutter, "Oh, lovely. Here's where I say Tikki spots on."
Tikki happily entered the earrings. She didn't focus on maintaining the transformation, so it dropped soon after Adrien fainted. Plagg followed, and they both heard Nino flee.
"Plagg, you heard that, right?"
"Yeah. It seems like Little Miss Césaire had a sentry on guard."
"If they hadn't fainted, that could have been bad."
"You're right, Tikki, but now they have to deal with whatever Nino told Alya. Knowing him, it's nothing innocent."
Tikki giggled and said, "Well, Plagg, I'd expect for you to be happy. After all, situations like this are your cup of tea, aren't they?"
I needed the pun.
I'll have the next chapter up eventually. I won't assure you when, but I can tell you that it might not be this month, but it definitely won't be after early next month.
Bye until then.