I dream of my childhood. Little memories and faces that I have known my whole life. Others I don't know who they are and when I ever met them. I see a ten year old me playing with Mags, her darker than what it was after I lost her in the games. Sorrow hits me at the fact that I've lost her forever. She was like a mother to me, since I have never met my own.
She laughs when my younger self doesn't catch the ball. I remember that too well. It's as if I'm staring through glass. I want to talk to her, grab her hand and talk about what we caught while fishing, or talk about random things. I see another memory of me running down a bunch of long halls. My wobbly little feet traveling as fast as they can. I'm about two or three years old. And I'm crying running over to my sister Jade. Who was six at the time.
"He's angwy." I say through tears. Holding a bear about half my size. I lift my arms in the air, lusting for her to hold me. She grabs me and holds me against her waist. She walks over to the window. She lifts my chubby hand and puts it against the window. Tears stream down her cheeks. "Are dey up with him?" I ask looking at her.
"Yes Finnick, they are." She sighs and looks at the rain drops hitting against the window. She bites her lip, 'Okay, time for you to go to bed. It's late enough as it is…." She walks down the halls and puts me in my crib, walking away wiping tears. Back then I didn't know why she was crying. Now I knew. I longed to grab her arm and give her a hug…. I haven't talked to her let alone seen my sister in nine years. I don't even know if she's still alive.
This is the most painful yet most loved memory of mine. The day I lost a sister and gained a mother. When she left the room I threw watch my little self climb over the bars of the crib. I yearned to see the lighting up close no windows stand in my way. The memory begins to blur and transcend into yet another memory. This one brings complete and utter fear to me.
There I am. Fourteen years old. Staring at the crowd who stares coldly at me. I stand tall, with confusion and fear shivering down my spine. I look over to President Snow. He's straightening his bow tie and looking in the mirror, I'm in a pain pair of shorts. A trident design is painted on my chest. How I wished to be dress in a suit than this humiliating costume. But I remain silent. After checking his teeth to make sure they don't have any food wedged in between them President Snow smiles.
"Good morning ladies and gentlemen of Panem. As you see we have the ravishing Finnick Odair. He is being auctioned for a reasonable price to go to your home and spend quality time with you." From my glass confinement I scream at my younger self to run make a comment, KILL them. But its no use. No one can here me. I watch my self a little boy pushed into the games by evil hearts of men. They say after you win the games, the horror is over. But for me it only brought more pain and suffering. Ten years of torture. Ten years. How I hated the capitol for it. I hated them! I couldn't even look any of the people I met there in the eye. I have scars from crazed fans like…..Glady Evertson. I see her. Perfect hair. Perfect figure. Perfect everything. Except heart and mind.
My eye burst open. And I'm stuck in some sort of tank. Its filling with some sort of liquid. I open my mouth and swallow some. It's just like air. I turn to see Mags. I bang against the glass. She opens her eyes and swims to me but the glass tube holds her back. We stare at each other. Hope fear and recognition in our eyes….