The Hardest Truth
A/N: Thanks for the idea in your review Amorous Erised !
I loved it so I rolled with it and wrote another little part to this, not sure I'll write anymore though. Hope you enjoy it!
John and Sherlock continued with the case as if nothing was wrong. They got on with it as if nothing had ever happened between them. There had been a touch of awkwardness the morning after it but it had ebbed away quickly.
John had barely slept as he lay on the sofa wrestling with his feelings for Sherlock and for Mary. He had a wife and she was carrying his child, whether she was a liar or not he couldn't walk away from that, he was responsible for that baby and it was going to need a Father.
He had come to the conclusion before going back to Sherlock the morning after his confession that he wouldn't tell Sherlock that he returned his feelings. He decided to keep it inside and continue to live his life with Mary, he had decided to bash on with things like they were ordinary.
The days had passed, the weeks had passed, the months had passed. He and Sherlock had never mentioned the talk in 221 Baker Street. It was as if it had never happened and John had begun to wonder if it had actually happened at all.
They didn't think about it, they didn't talk about it. It was in the past, it wasn't important. That was what John had managed to convince himself of throughout those months.
But then Sherlock had shot Magnusson.
When Sherlock had returned from the dead John hadn't thought he would have to live without the man in his life in some shape or form again. Yet now he found himself standing in front of him, an airplane in the background waiting to sweep Sherlock away.
John swallowed and stared at the man opposite him, aware of Mary and Mycroft standing close by.
'So,' John said, 'I'll probably never see you again.'
Sherlock inclined his head ever so slightly, 'That's very likely,' he admitted.
John nodded, looking around awkwardly.
'William Sherlock Scott Holmes,' Sherlock said out of the blue.
'What?'
'My name, the whole of it,' Sherlock said, 'if you're looking for baby names.'
John smiled ever so slightly, 'We've had a scan, we're pretty sure it's a girl,'
'Ah, I see,' Sherlock said with a nod.
They fell into silence again, neither of them quite knowing how to say goodbye, especially when goodbye in this case meant forever.
'I don't know what to say,' John said honestly, 'but the game is over.'
Sherlock shook his head, 'The game is never over John, but there may be some new players.'
John sighed, 'Where are you actually going, Sherlock?'
Sherlock replied honestly, 'Somewhere in the middle east.'
'So it's dangerous then?' John asked.
Sherlock didn't reply. They fell into silence for a third time.
'John…there's something I should say. Something I have meant to say but I never have…'
John looked at him expectantly, his heart flipping ever so slightly.
'Sherlock…is a girl's name.'
John couldn't help but laugh and Sherlock smiled, a real genuine smile. It almost brought tears to John's eyes knowing they would never joke like this again.
'You bastard,' John said fondly, his voice breaking slightly.
Sherlock's smile widened, 'I think it could work.'
'We're not naming our daughter after you, Sherlock,' John said still smiling.
Sherlock held out his hand, and John looked at it strangely, 'To the very best of times John.'
John sighed as he took the man's hand and shook it slowly. It dropped, falling to Sherlock's side. He turned and began to walk away, and John just watched him do it.
Then he realised how stupid he was being, 'Sherlock!'
Sherlock stopped and turned around and John walked closer to him, 'This is stupid,' he said, 'I'm being stupid.'
Sherlock watched John expectantly, as if he had seen this coming. Of course he bloody well had.
'What you said Sherlock, that night in the flat when Mary said…' John trailed off, 'and I never told you, but if I'm never going to see you again…'
He breathed in, letting out a shaky breath, 'I feel the same, I did before you faked your death and I have since you came back. But I have a wife, and I'm going to have a baby soon, I couldn't act on my…feelings.'
'I understand John,' Sherlock said simply.
'I couldn't let you go without saying it,' John said, looking everywhere but at Sherlock, 'especially if I'm never going to see you again.'
'I appreciate that,' Sherlock said, and John could have sworn his eyes were a little watery, 'but you have Mary here and you have a family to protect.'
John nodded, and swallowed hard, 'Goodbye Sherlock,' he said weakly.
'Goodbye John,' Sherlock said, his voice strained slightly.
They looked at each other for a moment and then John, in a flurry of emotion, hugged Sherlock tightly. They stood there on the airfield for what felt like hours holding each other tightly because they knew when they let go that would be the end of it, the end of the game.
John pulled away, and Sherlock nodded at him. He then turned and walked onto the plane, leaving John standing alone on the airfield. He blew out a breath of air, and walked over to Mary who slipped her hand into his.
'Did you tell him?' She asked.
'Tell him what?' John asked, his eyes on the plane.
'How you felt,' Mary said simply, 'I know John, you know I do.'
John breathed another heavy breath and said, 'I had to.'
Mary tightened her hand in his, 'I understand,' she said, moving closer to him as the plane took off, taking Sherlock away with it.
The End :)
A/N: I might just add little bits to this every now and then when I get ideas, I'm not sure. Thanks so much again to Amorous Erised for the idea, the only thing I changed was the kiss because I don't think John would do that when he knew Mary & Mycroft were watching.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! :D